Linda's TV

2011-12 Fall Preview: NBC.

2011-08-04T15:46:00.005-04:00

You know how I always say, "Life's too short to watch bad TV?" Well, today I discovered something: Life's also too short to watch bad TV previews.

NBC has a ton of new shows coming up this season. Most of them were just aiiight. Not terrible, but also not terribly original. You know, some workplace comedies, some yuppie comedies, some detective dramas. Snore.

And then I saw It. You know, It. The show that makes you sit up and say, Wow. I've gotta watch that RIGHT NOW.

That show is the midseason drama Awake.

Here is the plot: A guy gets into a car accident with his wife and his son. The guy wakes up and his wife is alive, but his son is dead. He goes about his day with his wife, trying to cope with his son's death. Then he goes to sleep, and wakes up, and...he is now living in a world where his wife is dead, but his son is very much alive. He goes to sleep, wakes up, and he's back in the first world. Back and forth.

I am stunned by how terrific this show is.

Just think about it. In one world, he cannot tell his wife that he wakes up in an alternate world where their son is alive but she is dead. She'd think he was crazy. In the other world, he is trying to raise his son as a single parent. No matter which world he's in, he can never properly grieve for the loss of either his wife or his son, because technically, they are both still alive. Wow!

To make things more interesting, the guy is a detective. (On NBC, there are only two professions: Detective and Office Worker.) He solves crimes in both worlds, and sometimes the clues overlap, and he has to piece together what he knows from both worlds to figure out the clues in the world he's in. Neat, huh?

I'm not sure why NBC is holding this winner back until midseason. I mean, why put us through Free Agents when you don't have to?

(Pictured: The promo photo for Awake. Are you as excited as I am?)

2011-12 Fall Preview: Hits and Misses, Part III: The CW.

2011-07-21T18:55:00.001-04:00

I really shouldn't like the CW this much. I'm too old to watch most of their shows. Should I really be watching Gossip Girl? The Vampire Diaries? I am a decade older than Elena! But I am also 135 years younger than Stefan. Whew. I feel better already. Without further ado...the new CW shows!

Hart of Dixie (Mondays at 9pm): Summer from The OC takes a little break from peddling chocolate ice cream bars to apply to med school! Except she doesn't get into school in New York like she wants, so she decides to move to...Alabama. I think I missed something there. How is Alabama the #2 alternative to New York? I suppose we'll find out in the premiere. The show looks like One Tree Hill--southern, and with soft lighting around the edges, like a Barbara Walters interview. Change the title, though--this isn't the Hallmark Channel. Grade: B-.

Ringer (Tuesdays at 9pm): Buffy is back! And she's multiplied! Sarah Michelle Gellar returns to TV playing twins Bridget and Siobhan. Bridget is a recovering drug addict. She witnesses a murder and flees to New York, where she finds her estranged twin. Siobhan is filthy rich and married to a shady guy. Suddenly, Siobhan disappears (it's an apparent suicide), so Bridget decides to take over her sister's identity. Except...someone is trying to kill Siobhan, too. One of the must-watch shows of the fall. Grade: A-.

H8R (Wednesdays at 8pm): Upon seeing Snooki in the first few seconds of the trailer, my expectations plummeted. But...to my surprise, I kind of liked it. This show, hosted by the ubiquitous Mario Lopez, follows celebs as they confront random people who have dissed them. Then the celebs spend some time together with their "hater." For example, Snooki cooks an Italian dinner for her hater. Then everybody kisses and makes up. I will probably not watch this show, but if you're seriously bored, and this is on, I would recommend not changing the channel. Grade: B-.

The Secret Circle (Thursdays at 9pm): Lux, how I've missed you. Britt Robertson plays a girl whose mom is killed, so she has to move in with her grandma. Then she finds out that there are five people at her new school who are witches, and Britt is the sixth witch, and that without her to complete the circle, the other witches can only do lame spells. Turns out Britt and the other five are descended from witches dating back hundreds of years. Based on the book series I never read. Looks like the next Vampire Diaries, only with better lighting. Grade: B+.

Coming midseason...

Remodeled: A modeling industry veteran named Paul Fisher brings together a bunch of small agencies to form The Network, which will "make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed," and "empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives." I'm pretty sure world peace was next on that agenda. This one's not for me. Grade: D-.

The Frame: Other than Top Model and Beauty and the Geek, the CW is a major fail when it comes to nonscripted shows. I didn't see a trailer for this show, but here's the gist: teams of two each live in a separate home, and home viewers vote on things like eliminations, rewards, and punishments. So basically, it's like Big Brother, only way less good because: 1) the contestants live separately, which means way less drama, and 2) no Chen-bot. Grade: C-.

One last thing: The CW is bringing back Nikita (hooray!) but booting it to Friday nights (no!). CW, what did Maggie Q ever do to you?!

Not a bad lineup, CW. Just stick to the scripted stuff from now on, okay?

(Pictured: The cast of The Secret Circle. Is there a way we can add Bug to this show?)

2011-12 Fall Preview: Hits and Misses, Part II: CBS.

2011-07-18T18:41:00.000-04:00

Wow. I've got to say, I've never been more disappointed in CBS's new crop of shows. And this includes the year where they previewed that Alex O'Loughlin medical drama. That preview brought me to tears, and it was still a terrible show that got canceled after 3 weeks. So, I hate to think how this year's new shows will fare. Let's begin.

Person of Interest (Thursdays at 9PM): Stars Jim Caviezel and Benjamin Linus from Lost. Benjamin plays a rich guy who teams up with Jim to prevent violent crime. The show looks like it takes place in NYC. Thanks for making my hometown look so bleak and violent, CBS! This show is definitely not my cup of tea, but it'll definitely find a home among CBS viewers. Grade: B-.

A Gifted Man (Fridays at 8PM): The Doctor Whisperer. It's about a doc whose ex-girlfriend died and is now haunting him as a ghost. The ex wants him to help her do something, but I'm not sure what. Something involving finding files on her computer. Zzz. The doc thinks he's going crazy, but he falls in love with her anyway. I think this ghost is selfish for doing this. Really, ghost? You can't let this guy move on with his life? But since there's a pretty cast, and a sad love story, people just may watch. Grade: C.

2 Broke Girls (Mondays at 830PM): I'm starting to see a trend here. Wait, it's not a trend if it's always been the case. But basically, this is the third straight pilot starring all white people. C'mon, CBS! Anyway. This comedy, aside from having a terrible title, looks boring. It's about a poor girl (Kat Dennings, wearing way too much makeup, as usual) and a rich girl (some blonde) who ends up losing her trust fund or something so she's stuck working as a waitress alongside the poor girl. The rich girl has been sleeping on the subway, so the poor girl feels sorry for her and invites her to live in her apartment. So they move in together. It's rich meets poor, blue collar meets fur collar (I came up with that one myself! on the fly!), yada yada, someone shoot me now. Grade: D.

How to be a Gentleman (Thursdays at 830PM): Another comedy, this time starring two men. One writes a magazine column called, you guessed it, "How to be a Gentleman," and the other is a total buffoon. The columnist is over-the-top when it comes to manners, so he's socially awkward. Think the most British guy you can think of, only without the charm and the accent but with the sport jackets and plaid shirts. The buffoon is played by, naturally, Kevin Dillon. Chloe from 24 is in this show. Another one I'll be passing on, but I'm sure people will watch. Grade: B.

Unforgettable (Tuesdays at 10PM): Well, at least I learned a new word: Hyperthymesia, the medical condition whereby people remember every. single. detail. Only 6 people in this country have it. At least that's what CBS tells us, anyway. This show is about a woman who has it, and she's a cop, and she solves crimes with her ex using this ability. She can remember everything, but she cannot remember what happened the day her sister died. Could be interesting. Reminds me of Medium. Grade: B-.

And coming midseason...

Live to Dance: The Paula Abdul dance show we've all been hearing about. Just what America needs, another show about dancing. I am too lazy most days to even leave the apartment, so even watching this show will exhaust me. Grade: D.

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior: Forest Whitaker, Janeane Garofalo. Police fighting crimes, solving mysteries. No originality whatsoever. But also no reason it won't do well on CBS. Grade: B-.

The 2-2: Follows six NYPD rookies as they patrol the gritty streets of upper Manhattan. Which gritty streets? Harlem? Fort Washington? That super-sketchy block by Lincoln Center? Stars Leelee Sobieski. Zzz. Grade: D.

CBS, I am surprised at you. More of the same old crime procedurals, and even a Ghost Whisperer redux. What gives? The only one with any stand-out potential is How to be a Gentleman, and I'm not even watching that one. How about a little friendly advice: Don't bother with any of these new shows, just save your money and use it to convince the casts of The Good Wife and The Big Bang Theory to make five episodes a week each. You're welcome.

(Pictured: The stars of 2 Broke Girls. Their expressions sums up my thoughts on the entire CBS new fall lineup.)

2011-12 Fall Preview: Hits and Misses, Part I: ABC.

2011-07-16T23:57:00.009-04:00

For the first time in three years, I missed the upfronts entirely. HUGE bummer. I think watching the upfronts made me like the shows more. There's something about seeing a preview on a ginormous screen in surround sound, and then having that show's stars come out on stage and smile and wave and the network president coming out and putting his or her arm around them like they're great friends and crack an awkward joke or two that nobody catches except for the people sitting in the first three rows... Wait, where was I? Oh yes, the new fall schedule. Without further ado, my opinion of the new fall shows. Let's start with ABC.

Charlie's Angels (Thursdays at 8PM): I knew this remake was coming, and yet, I'm still disappointed that it's here. I was really hoping this wouldn't be made, because I never watched the original, and the Drew Barrymore movies were just okay. As for the show, the trailer looks meh. It's about 30 seconds long, because you're already supposed to know what the show is about. My notes: "will probably go the way of that show about the four women detectives, Women's Murder Club: moderate viewership, followed quickly by oblivion and then cancelation." Grade: C-.

Last Man Standing (Tuesdays at 8PM): Two words: Tim Allen. Guh. Grade: F.

Okay, to be fair, let me actually watch the rest of the trailer. It looks like a family comedy a la According to Jim- you know, hapless, bumbling father with three daughters and a harried wife. This formula has worked for ABC many, many, many, (kill me now) MANY times. Almost a guaranteed renewal, even if it totally sucks. Grade: Still F.

Man Up (Tuesdays at 830PM): Another comedy with "Man" in the title. By the way, this show should get an F on title alone. Man Up? Seriously, ABC? Why even bother making a trailer, since I already know what this show is about: buffoonish manchildren married to attractive women who somehow put up with them. I watched the trailer (one minute, 55 seconds I will never get back) and it's about: buffoonish manchildren married to attractive women who somehow put up with them. ABC, a bit of advice: Abort! Abort! Grade: F.

Once Upon a Time (Sundays at 8PM): A fairy tale series. I'm with you so far. A mom moves into a town called Storybrooke. According to her creepy son, nobody can leave this town, or else bad things happen. Jumby wants to be born! The townspeople are all fairy tale characters but they don't know it. Ginnifer Goodwin is in it. Jennifer Morrison (House) plays the mom. Interesting twist: Turns out the mom is in this fairy tale, too. She is from an alternate world and is Snow White and Prince Charming's missing daughter. According to the ABC description, her parents "sent her away to protect her from the Evil Queen's curse, which trapped the fairy tale world forever, frozen in time, and brought them into our modern world." Ooh. Sold. Grade: B+.

Pan Am (Sundays at 10PM): My notes, verbatim: "Christina Ricci. Stewardesses back in the 1960s. Mad Men set at an airport. Lots of potential." Grade: A-.

Suburgatory (Wednesdays at 830PM): Right off the bat, the narrator (a sarcastic outcast girl) is very funny. Reminds me of Emma Stone's character in Easy A. The show is about a girl who gets into "condomgate" in Manhattan and her dad forces her to move to the 'burbs (it looks like somewhere upstate). The people in her new town are plasticky and fake. This comedy looks really good. And it's got a great time slot between two other very funny shows, The Middle and Modern Family. Did I mention the narrator is awesome? Grade: Easy. A.

Revenge (Wednesdays at 10pm): Emily Van Camp plays a girl who was dragged out of her house kicking and screaming when she was a young child. Now she's all grown up and has moved back to the Hamptons and she's out for revenge on all the rich people. Don't know why she wants revenge- ABC only tells us "something bad happened that ruined her family and their reputation." Seems to have potential, and Emily is always a solid bet. Grade: B.

And here are the new shows coming in midseason:

Work It: A comedy about men who dress up like women so they can get jobs as pharmaceutical reps. (Why is that the only job available?) Looks funny, but has zero chance of succeeding- which were my same thoughts about Cavemen. Grade: B. Clever title, though!

Apartment 23: What on earth is this show about? I watched the trailer twice and still have only a vague idea. Basically, it's about these two roommates who don't get along, and they play pranks on each other. Or something. By the end of the trailer, they've made up. Okay, so where does the show go from here? Random: James Van Der Beek plays himself in the pilot. Grade: D.

Good Christian Belles: Kristin Chenoweth's in this! The show's about a former mean girl (Leslie Bibb) who returns to her hometown and the girls still hate her, but the guys are in love with her. Seems okay, but this trailer, like Apartment 23, feels hurried- like they crammed the whole show into two minutes. I'm wondering how long the series can last. Grade: C+.

Missing: ABC did not provide a trailer on its website, so I am going on the description alone. It's about a mom (Ashley Judd) whose son goes missing while studying abroad, and she goes to find him. Zzz. Haven't they made 87,000 movies with this exact plot? Also, how long can the son be missing before they find him? And what if they find him, will someone else go missing? Shows that have one-season concepts make me nervous that the writers will come up with ridiculous ways to stretch out the plot into another season. Not bothering with this one. Grade: D.

Scandal: Shonda Rhimes's new show. Stars Kerry Washington and Meredith Grey's alcoholic dad. Kerry is a consultant who handles political scandals. Trailer looks pretty good. I love a good political drama, and this one reminds me of The Good Wife, only way less classy (and that's awesome by me). Grade: B+.

The River: This is the one I am most excited about. It's about a nature explorer who disappears in the Amazon, and his family goes to find him. The thing is, creepy stuff starts to happen- seriously creepy stuff. The show is shot documentary style, like Paranormal Activity. And oh look, the guy who made Paranormal Activity (Oren Peli) is exec producing this one, along with Steven Spielberg. Leslie Hope (24) is in this. Love her. Love this show already. Grade: A-.

So there you have it, the enormous crop of new shows from the Alphabet Network. Some real stinkers in the bunch, but also some shows that have real potential. Next up, CBS! Stay tuned.

(Pictured: The cast of Pan Am. How hot does this show look? Am I the only one who suddenly wants to be a stewardess?)

The Killing: Whodunit? Who Cares?

2011-07-12T18:31:00.001-04:00

I know The Killing ended a few weeks ago, but I'm still thinking about the season finale. Long story short, we still do not know who killed Rosie Larsen. We know who got framed for killing Rosie, but we don't know if that person actually did it. SPOILERS AHEAD, if you still haven't seen it.

We learned in the final seconds that Holder lied when he gave the police a photo purportedly showing City Councilman Richmond driving over the bridge the night in question, but the photo was actually faked. Holder got into a car and told an unseen driver, "The photos worked." So who was he talking to?

That is a much more interesting question than who killed Rosie Larsen. The fact of the matter is, all season long, this show has toyed with us, leading us in all different directions. It was equally plausible that it could be the teacher, the councilman, the creepy coworker, the Polish mafia (whatever the Polish equivalent of a mafia would be called), etc. I even started suspecting Rosie's mom. As a result, by the end of the 13 episodes, I no longer cared who killed her. I just wanted to know how the show would end.

And surprisingly, I liked the ending. I liked that there was no tidy bow to the end of this mystery. I liked that there was a twist nobody expected. I liked that Linden practically crapped herself on the plane when she found out Richmond had been framed.

What I think a lot of people are hoping for is that they resolve this next season and tell us who Holden was talking to in the car, and who really killed Rosie. And I don't blame them. But I don't want to know. I like this messy ending. Life is messy, and child killers sometimes go free (I'm looking at you, Casey Anthony). So, my hope is that next season, they start over with a new mystery.

My hope is that they also move to a new city. Might I recommend Miami, or Los Angeles, or Arizona? Someplace the sun actually shines? Or at least someplace where the people pay their electric bill so that they're not sitting in the dark all the time?

(Pictured: Billy Campbell, who plays City Councilman Richmond. Who framed him? Did he really kill Rosie? More importantly, is there any chance of ABC bringing back Once and Again?)

Big Brother 13: It's Like 2007 All Over Again.

2011-07-11T18:27:00.003-04:00

I watched the season premiere of Big Brother 13, and holy moly! Jeff and Jordan! Brendon and Rachel! Dick and Daniele! I can't believe how much I've missed these people I used to hate! (Except for Jeff and Jordan--they were awesome.)

Oh, and there are eight other people in the house. My reaction to them so far: Meh.

Don't get me wrong, they are kinda interesting. There is a flamboyant guy who is singlehandedly keeping the lime-green suit industry afloat. There is a sleazy youth preacher. There is a self-proclaimed Carrie Bradshaw (a curvy and black version of Carrie Bradshaw). There is a 25-year-old virgin who still lives at home with his mom and still has his mom cook for him (stay away from him, ladies). There is a metal-head looking bald guy who roars a lot and is obsessed with 90210. These crazy cats are rounded out by two younger girls and a mom figure. About half the cast is lying about what they really do for a living and how much money they earn. Yawn. This is Big Brother, folks. Everybody lies.

But these newbies are nothing compared to the returning houseguests. You guys remember Evil Dick? He tormented the houseguests back in season 8. He would chase after random people screaming hateful things at them. And to pay him back, the houseguests voted for him to take home the $1 million prize. I wish I were kidding. Evil Dick appeared on BB8 in order to spend time with his estranged daughter, Daniele. He told everyone if he won the million dollars, he'd share it with her. I think I read somewhere that after the show, he bought her a car. And they made up and lived happily ever after. Not.

Fast-forward to 2011, and we learn...THEY HAVE NOT SPOKEN IN THREE YEARS. So when I say this is like 2007 all over again, I'm not kidding. They walked into the house and did not say a word to each other. Daniele stood off to the side looking angry. She has also dyed her hair black. I'm worried about these people.

As for the other returning pairs? Jeff and Jordan are as adorable as ever. Jordan is still dopey, and Jeff is still head over heels in love with her. I love it. Brendon and Rachel are still annoying. They are also engaged. I am trying not to think of their future offspring.

There are two other twists (and Big Brother is known for its great twists) to this season. First, everyone has to play as a pair. And they have to get nominated as a pair--which means they have to campaign against the person who's supposed to be their partner. Second, and this is the truly awesome one...the nominee who does not go home is automatically given a spot in the final 10. Just think about that for a second. Think of the ramifications. Is your mind blown? I know mine is. At this point, I cannot wait to see what happens.

(Pictured: The eight newbies of Big Brother 13. I know what you're thinking: CBS put three black people on TV? On the same show? I know, I can't believe it either.)

Hell Has Frozen Over: I'm Watching Fringe.

2011-07-10T19:49:00.008-04:00

Hey, everybody. Did you miss me? I know I missed this blog like crazy. I kept wanting to post, because yes, I did watch an unhealthy amount of TV during my first year of law school (which could explain my Civil Procedure grade). But I didn't want to let you guys down (all ten of you) by starting to blog again but not doing it consistently. I figured I'd blog during the summer. So here we are. Back for a limited time only. Let's get right into it...the new show I'm watching this summer.

While in school, I saved up a ton of shows to watch over the summer. Surprisingly, the husband refuses to watch One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Hellcats. It's tough finding shows we both like, especially now that it's the summertime, and the networks have all gone to sleep. So we decided to try out a show that's been out for a while: Fringe.

I don't remember if I've ever mentioned Fringe on this blog. But I've always been aware of its existence. My impression of the show had been that it was like the X-Files (which I never watched). Basically, it's about this group of people who solve weird scientific mysteries. And there is an alternate universe with the same people living in it, except they're the alternate version of the people in this universe. And people can cross from one universe to the other. I don't know why, but I never had any interest in Fringe. Just never did. Can't explain it.

And now...I like it. I don't love the goriness, the grossness, the gunshots straight into the head, and all that violent stuff. But I like the story of Peter and Walter. Basically, Walter is a scientist, and he invented a way to travel from this universe to the alternate universe. Years ago, Walter's little boy Peter died, so Walter crossed to the other universe to save the alternate Peter from dying (the universes don't match up temporally, but they are close). And some bad stuff happened but the result was Walter decided to bring the alternate Peter into this universe to give him the cure and then take him back. The only problem was, Peter's mom saw the fake Peter and missed him too much and convinced Walter to keep him here. Meanwhile, in the alternate universe, Peter has disappeared forever, and the alternate mom has no idea what happened to him. Peter got the cure and grew up in this universe thinking his mom was his real mom and his dad was his real dad. Fast-forward to the present, and Peter finds out Walter stole him from his mom in the alternate universe. I'm up to the part where Peter is still not speaking to Walter. It's a very sad story. But I can now see why people at my old job were pushing me to watch this show. It's pretty great.

The other show I wanted to discuss was Big Brother. But that show deserves its own post, because HOLY GUACAMOLE, it's gonna be a good season. And I can't wait to write about it. Stay tuned!

(Pictured: Walter and Astrid, one of the FBI agents whom everyone treats like a glorified assistant. Walter is holding a worm thingy that the Chinese were incubating in people's bodies. When the worm got too big, it would force itself out through the person's mouth. Remember, I watch this show while eating dinner.)

New Blog!

2010-07-26T21:06:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone,

I'm starting law school in 3 weeks, and have just created a new blog. Check it out here. Thanks for reading!

An Announcement.

2010-07-13T12:36:00.003-04:00

This makes me sad to write this, but here it is: I'm thinking of quitting this blog. Or at least putting it on indefinite hiatus.

My reasons are twofold:

1) I've lost interest in blogging about TV. In part because with nothing on except trashy reality TV (which I love, but let's face it, it's not very pithy stuff), I've postponed blogging to the point where I started to think, maybe all these shows aren't worth blogging. And in part because I don't know how important TV is in the grand scheme of things, and it makes me wonder if I have something else more valuable to write about. Which I do. (I explain more below.) I love, LOVE TV, and am a self-certified TV expert. Even the shows I don't watch, I know enough about them to carry on a conversation about them. That part of me will not change.

2) Even if there was a ton of stuff on, I'll have to quit next month, anyway, when I start law school. How will I blog about TV when I won't be watching TV? So I guess now is as good a time as any to put this blog on hold.

I won't say I'm ending Linda's TV for good. I am always going to be a TV fan, and I'm always going to watch my shows. I am always going to have opinions about the state of the TV industry. And I am certain I will always be able to pinpoint with 95% accuracy what shows will fail just by watching a 15-second commercial spot for it. That kind of skill doesn't just die. ;)

But consider this my last post about TV...for now. If you have any questions (my ten darling readers), or if you ever want to chat about shows, I will always be up for that. You know where to find me.

Now I have some more news.

Since I am going to law school, I won't have any kind of social life for the next three years. So I am thinking...of starting a law school blog. That way, people can still keep up with my life, and how I'm faring in school. And the blog will allow me to reflect on my education, my thoughts on what I'm learning, and the people around me. And if someone out there is considering law school, maybe my blog will help them figure out if that's what they want. I don't know. More than anything, I'm thinking this blog would just be a way to track my journey in school and see how I'm learning and changing. If/when I start the new blog, I'll post the link here.

So there you have it. When one blog closes, another one opens.

And who knows? I might be back for more TV blogging someday.

Until then, always, always remember this: Life's too short to watch bad TV.

Big Brother 12: A Preview.

2010-06-30T11:22:00.009-04:00

CBS officially announced its cast for Big Brother 12 today. Here is the breakdown:

-There are 13 houseguests, down from 14 last year.

-12 of them are white.

-Seven men, six women.

-Half the women are blonde.

-There is a podiatrist among them. That is the most interesting profession on the list.

-The least interesting? Insurance adjuster.

-Is there a model, a bartender, and a waitress in the bunch? Yes, yes, and yes. This is a reality show, people.

-They are almost all young'uns. Four of them are 24. One of them is 22. Hey, does anybody remember Natalie from last year? She was in her 20s but claimed to be 18. I wonder if anybody will pull this stunt again. It kind of worked for Natalie.

-Speaking of Natalie, I wonder if she's still with her fiance.

-One among the houseguests will be the Big Brother Saboteur. This is the big "twist" of the season. ("Twist" in quotes because this is not an actual twist; it is EXACTLY the same as the America's Player twist two years ago, which was an actual twist.) The Saboteur's job will be to wreak havoc in the house while pretending to play the game like everyone else. If he/she makes it to the halfway point of the game, he/she will get some cash-money.

-The theme of the house will be "Playground by the Shore." All the furniture and decorations will be Art Deco-inspired. Art Deco means (I had to look this up) the patterns are inspired by geometrical shapes. Art Deco hit its last peak in the '80s, when one-half of the houseguests were still coming out of the womb.

So there you have it, everything you need to know about Big Brother 12 this summer. Right now, none of the houseguests really stand out to me. They all look pretty cookie-cutter. Big Brother premieres Thursday, July 8, so I'll be back one week from Friday with another review when we all know more about the contestants.

Till then, Happy 4th of July!

(Pictured: The BB12 cast, plus Chen-bot. And in case you were wondering, yes, the guy with the bowtie is a professor.)

I'm Getting The Willies. Thanks Degrassi, For A Whole New Level Of Creepy!

2010-06-28T21:07:00.006-04:00

Watching Degrassi Season 9 right now. On the episode where the pervy basketball coach is macking on KC in the hotel room, giving him beer and making him watch porn.

OMG, what is this show?

And why can't I stop watching?

The Dog Days Of TV.

2010-06-21T12:12:00.007-04:00

If you're a sports fan, like my dad (Happy Father's Day!), you had a lot to watch on TV these last few weeks.

If you're me, you're praying Big Brother moves up its premiere date. Wherefore art thou, Chen-bot?

In the meantime, here is what I've been up to:

-Watching the Life nature series from BBC. I hate watching animals get torn apart and eaten alive, but I really liked the episodes on insects, birds and fishes. (Yes, I say fishes.) I could watch insects forever. Also, chinstrap penguins. I love penguins.

-Watching Doctor Who. I am slowly getting used to the new Doctor's rubbery face, and Amy is getting slightly less annoying with each episode. The Rory/Amy scenes are very sad. I didn't understand Saturday's episode, though. Something about Pandorica's Box and the Doctor being responsible for the world's destruction. Huh???

-Watching Degrassi: The Next Generation. I am an out and proud Degrassi fan. Last Friday, I finally watched Degrassi Goes Hollywood. All my favorites were back--Emma, Manny, Marco, Paige, Ellie, and even Craig! I miss those kids. Oh, and when did Jay of Jay & Silent Bob get so hot? After that, I watched the first two episodes of season 9. I'm still learning the names of all the current kids. This is cool--Nina Dobrev from The Vampire Diaries is still on this show. I am not used to seeing her in bright light, wearing something other than a leather jacket. It's very unsettling. I kind of wish I attended Degrassi High. I had a dream about Sav a few nights ago. Shut up! I am not a pedophile!

-Watching One Tree Hill. I'm one episode from the finale. Haley tried to drown herself. Some crazy lady is impersonating Clay's ex-wife. There's also this subplot with a bearded piano player and a British record producer that I just don't get. And Jamie has a friggin huge rabbit named Chester that I only just realized this weekend is FRIGGIN HUGE. If you watch this show, rewatch the scene where Jamie asks Quinn if Chester can watch The Goonies with them. You'll see.

-Reading. Maybe you thought that since I'm a TVholic, I don't read. Actually, I probably read more than you. And faster. I go through 1-2 books a week. The one I'm on right now is Before I Fall, by Lauren Oliver. It's a YA book about a girl who dies...but then she gets to relive her last day on earth seven times. It's like Groundhog Day, the movie. Except it's a book. And it's sad. And I can't put it down. The book I read last week was a HUGE disappointment: Husband and Wife, by Leah Stewart. I read her 2nd novel, The Myth of You & Me, two weeks ago, and absolutely loved it. Another book I couldn't put down. Well, Husband and Wife is the complete opposite. The protagonist is whiny and selfish and really annoying. And she talks about her thoughts and her feelings WAY too much. I can't believe these books were written by the same person. After this, I'm going to reread all the Harry Potters. I figure I could go on this magical journey and clear my mind before starting law school (in two months, ahh!). I still haven't read #7. Has anybody out there reread the Harry Potters, and if so, are they just as good a second time?

-Cooking. I made scallion pancakes and banana bread this weekend, both from scratch. I can make them with my eyes closed now, I've done it so often.

-Running. I'm doing a 5k next weekend, July 3, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out somewhere on the course. I'm running with my husband and his sisters. And by "with," I mean "behind." So far, I can go about 3k, but with some walking in between. And on a mostly straight course. The 5k course is supposedly very hilly. If you don't hear from me after July 3, I didn't make it out alive. Send my regards to Chen-bot.

(Pictured: Some of the cast from the current Degrassi. From left to right: Claire, Alli, some dude, the new girl, some dude, Claire's boyfriend. Wow. Clearly, I need to get going on Season 9!)

Pretty Little Ramblings.

2010-06-15T12:06:00.006-04:00

I started writing a post about diversity on television--the SEVERE lack of it. And by started, I mean I wrote 95% of it, but didn't have time to edit it thoroughly, and ended up not posting it. It's actually a pretty angry post. I do a lot of ranting about how shows ignore minorities, shove us in the background, pretend we don't exist, pretend we don't have stories to tell, etc.

So in the interest of not alienating my readers, and not coming across like Angry Asian Girl, I'm not going to post it. At least, not today. Instead, I'm just going to leave you with this nugget for thought:

Why is Glee casting for three new characters when it barely has any lines for its current cast--namely Tina C., Mike (Other Asian) and Matt (the black guy)? I'm presuming the three new actors will all be Caucasian, but I hope, hope, HOPE I am wrong. Please let me be wrong.

Anywhozles. There hasn't been much going on in the TV world, unless you count reality TV. I'm watching The Hills, The City, and Real Housewives of New Jersey, all of which are good, tasty appetizers. But there's currently nothing meaty to sink my teeth in. (Oh, speaking of which, I loved the last few episodes of The Vampire Diaries...cannot WAIT for season 2.)

Yesterday, my husband was playing Grand Theft Auto 4 on the main computer, and all my unwatched episodes of One Tree Hill are on that computer. So I took his laptop and went on Hulu and found the pilot for Pretty Little Liars. I'd heard a lot about the show, heard it got good reviews and the premiere broke some kind of record for ABC Family. Also, it looks a lot like Gossip Girl(it's also based on a teen book series), so I decided to watch.

It was okay. Just okay. It is crammed full of cliches, naturally, and I'm still having trouble telling the four girls apart (there's that pesky diversity thing again). It's about these four girls whose beeyotchy friend disappeared a year ago, but the girls start getting mysterious blackmail-y texts from said beeyotchy friend. And then we find out beeyotch is dead, so who's been sending the texts? Each girl has her own storyline--one of them is sleeping with her teacher, one shoplifts, one is bicurious, and one's dad cheated on her mom. Blah. This show smacks of what I imagine Gossip Girl Season 8 would be--you know, when all the original, juicy storylines have run out.

Many shows have meh premieres, and they need 6-7 episodes before they start getting good. I think we all know this. On top of that, Pretty Little Liars has this going for it--it's running against mostly reruns and crappy summer TV on the other networks, so people like me will watch it even if it's absolutely terrible. Which it's not.

So for now, I have one decent new summer show to get into. I'm also thinking of picking up one or two dramas I never gave a chance, like The Good Wife. What do you think? Any other suggestions?

To Glee, With Love.

2010-06-09T11:48:00.009-04:00

Last night's Glee finale: I came, I saw, I cried.

The show wasn't without its bizarre/jarring moments. Like the whole Quinn giving birth/Vocal Adrenaline sequence. I will never hear Bohemian Rhapsody the same way again. (Baby Beth, by the way, gets the prize for cutest baby ever "born" on TV.) Also, Idina Menzel adopting Beth. Am I the only one who found that just...creepy?

Anywhosers. Weird stuff aside, this was one of the most moving episodes of Glee to date. There were about 84 different parts that had me weeping like a baby. Here are just a few:

-The glee kids serenading Will with "To Sir, With Love." I lost it when Will started to cry. And again when seeing each of the Glee kids tear up, one by one, during their close-ups.

-The entire "Don't Stop Believin'" performance. Glee songs don't normally make me shed tears, but this one did. Probably because it was a total throwback to May 2009, when we first saw the Glee kids singing it in their red T-shirts. To think how far they've come, all the way to regionals. Artie even used hair gel for the occasion! He's all grown up! If the entirety of Glee--its essence, its soul--can be summed up by one song, it's this one.

-Sue Sylvester in the last half-hour, putting New Directions down for first place. And then blackmailing Figgins to give the club another year. And then getting misty-eyed in the back of the room as the club sang to Will. Who knew Sue had a heart? Actually, all of us.

-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Will and Puck sang this at the Glee concert, so I'd heard it once already. But this song as the closing act for Season 1: A sweet, wistful, and memorable way to say good-bye.

And of course, the episode was not without its hilarity. Two parts stand out:

-Every line Josh Groban and Olivia Newton-John uttered in the judging room.

-The title of Sue Sylvester's memoir: I'm a Winner and You're Fat.

Best quotes:

"He was having an affair with some tattooed freak." -Quinn's mom (I hope Sandra Bullock watches this show)

"You know how many Facebook friends I had before glee club? Two--my parents." -Tina C.

"From Fort Wayne, Indiana, the not-at-all stupidly named, Aural Intensity!" -Sue

So long, Glee. It's been a crazy, emotional, triumphant ride. Thank you for all of it. The songs, the laughs, the concert (I'm still recovering). Thank you for bringing joy to the Gleeks, one inspiration song at a time.

See you in the fall.

Uncle Jesse Joining Glee Cast.

2010-06-08T16:05:00.006-04:00

In shocking casting news, John Stamos is joining the cast of Glee.

I say shocking because, really, I didn't know John Stamos was still around.

Anywhosers, he will be playing a dentist and new love interest for Emma. I can't imagine Uncle Jesse wooing the shy, OCD guidance counselor. All I can see is him with his comb, slicking back his hair and checking himself out in the mirror. Then again, Uncle Jesse was a rock star, so maybe Stamos will bring his guitar-wielding skills to this show.

I foresee an Uncle Jesse-Will Shuester showdown, presided over by--who else?--Sue Sylvester.

All in all, not a bad casting choice.

(Pictured: John Stamos, the way we all remembered him. Whose hair would Sue Sylvester make fun of more--his or Will Shuester's? Discuss.)

Terra Nova: Keep It Simple, Spielberg!

2010-06-08T11:47:00.006-04:00

As you may/may not have heard by now, Steven Spielberg has this new dinosaur drama project for Fox called Terra Nova. I have a beef with it.

Here's the basic plot: A family living in the year 2149 goes back in time 150 million years to the dinosaur era to join a human colony and start civilization afresh.

My beef: What is the point of starting a show in the future if the whole premise of the show is to go back in time?

Does anybody else think this is totally pointless?

I don't have a problem with a show taking place in the future. But if it's going to take place in the future, I want to see future-y things, like flying cars and talking appliances and alien-human-blended families. I want to see what other people's concept of the future looks like. I don't want to see a bunch of dinosaurs and sand.

Here is my suggestion: Instead of going back in time, why not have it stay in 2149? Let's say dinosaurs are walking around, destroying everything and eating people. And let's say a couple of scientists have found a way to kill off all the dinosaurs once and for all. But the scientists are torn on whether to use it because it raises questions of morality. Is human life more valuable than dinosaurs?

Or, if they really want to hang on to the idea of starting a human colony, why not have just a few surviving people remaining on earth in 2149? And maybe some of them want to figure out how to live amongst the dinosaurs, while the others want to kill them? And maybe two people from opposite camps fall in love. You get the gist.

My plea to you, Steven Spielberg: Employ the KISS method for this show. You can thank me later.

Scripps National Spelling Bee: I Dreamed A Dream...

2010-06-04T11:12:00.005-04:00

I'm the biggest geek ever (also the biggest GLEEK), so you can bet that I have on my Outlook calendar to watch the Scripps National Spelling Bee Finals tonight, starting at 8PM on ABC.

When I was in sixth grade, I won my class spelling bee, and also beat every other classroom winner in the school. I went on to compete in the district, where I lost out on first place by one word. ONE WORD. I'll never forget the two words I blew: tariff and magnate. They told me I'd step in for the winner if he/she couldn't make it for some reason. Of course, I never got that phone call. It was the saddest day of my life.

Ever since then, I've been trying to live vicariously through the winners of each year's Scripps Spelling Bee. I even borrowed that documentary on the Bee from the library, crying into my pillow, "That could've been me!" My goal is to train my kids to enter the Bee someday. They will be spelling "etymology" before they begin to teethe. I will take them to DC and they will get to shake the hand of that guy with the glasses who reads all the words, if he's still around. They will meet all the Indian kids and learn to spell their names, backwards, as this will surely psych them all out, not to mention give my kids the boost of confidence they need to win the Bee.

Until that glorious day, I will settle for watching the Bee on television.

(Pictured: A contestant in this year's Bee. That could've been me! High-waisted pants and all.)

Lost Vs. FlashForward: Which Finale Was More Frustrating?

2010-05-31T00:31:00.006-04:00

Last Sunday, I watched the Lost finale live.

And by watched, I mean I saw the first two minutes, grew rapidly confused, and gave up. I was on the computer a lot, and only glanced up every so often. Just enough to know that they kept doing these reunion thingies. And my closed-captioning kept saying there was a little zap when the characters *realized* who they were on the island, but I never heard the little zaps. Whatever.

By the end of the episode (and the series), about a dozen of them are hanging out in a church and Jack shows up and everyone treats him like a king and Jack's dad walks out through the double doors into the light. And then we're back on the island and Jack is laying there bleeding from his side and Vincent lays down next to him and Jack closes his eye. The end.

I've read different people's theories, as well as their frustrations and raves, and I am no closer to, well, closure. The show ended in a crazy mishmash of people's stories, and somehow Jack is Jesus. And as my friend said, "Apparently, black people aren't allowed in heaven." Which is sad, but then again, we all knew Lost has not been kind to black people, or most people of color, for that matter. So it shouldn't be surprising.

I guess what I am saying is, I didn't like the Lost finale. The creators of the show who said it would provide answers to the fans were lying. Liars!

Now, the FlashForward finale. It aired last Thursday, and the husband (yes, I am now married!) and I watched it Friday afternoon. The episode was okay, that is to say, it wasn't that different from every other FlashForward episode. The only thing that made it different was knowing this would be the last episode ever of the show, which meant they needed to wrap things up in 42 minutes. That so didn't happen.

In fact, they set it up for a second season, one that would never come. I still don't get what happened with that Simon character (like, what was he DOING?), but I was rooting for that guy Bryce and the Japanese girl to finally meet. And I really wanted Mark Benford to be killed off, which we didn't actually see happen, but the building he was in exploded, so we're to assume he's dead. And John Cho can finally be the lead character. But wait...the show's been canceled. RATS.

Oh, and in the second round of flashforwards, we saw creepy Charlie as a teenager. She says something vague, I forget what it was, but I guess it's supposed to make us think her dad is still alive. Blah, who cares. We'll never find out.

So what we have here is an interesting comparison of series finales. For the first one, the show lasted six seasons, and the creators knew the end date, and they wrote the last two seasons with the end date in mind. And the finale sucked. In the other, the show lasted one season, and the creators didn't know it would be canceled until the show had already finished shooting, so they didn't write it with any closure. And the finale sucked.

What can we conclude here? That shows should have clear end dates? That end dates mean crap? That I am hard to please? Probably all of the above.

Here is what I propose, for the makers of future science fiction-y shows, and their respective networks:

DO set an end date.

DON'T add new characters and plot twists in your finale season.

DO answer every single question you ever raised. I still don't know why there was a polar bear in Lost and a kangaroo in FlashForward.

DON'T create a complicated show unless you're willing to put out a clear, easy-to-understand ending. I don't like open-ended finales that raise lots of questions and theories. What is the point of arguing about what a show meant? It's OVER.

DO shoot every single season finale with cancelation in mind. That means you wrap up everything from the current season.

(For networks) DON'T wait until the last minute to tell a show that you're canceling it. Either pick it up by March or don't pick it up. In other words, sh*t or get off the pot.

Last but not least...DON'T put a show on hiatus for four freaking months!!!

(Pictured: Bryce and Keiko finally meeting (above) and Jack and Vincent in the final scene from Lost. Three...two..one. Okay, we can now officially stop caring about these characters.)

Glee Concert: Now I Can Die Happy.

2010-05-30T22:43:00.009-04:00

So. The Glee concert. Off the chizz-ain!

I didn't know the set list going in, so part of the fun was listening to the opening chords and trying to guess as fast as possible what the song would be. And you would think, since I listen to these songs all day long at work, I would be great at this. Nope. But that's what made it fun.

Something else that made it fun: Screaming and singing and dancing and clapping and swaying along (yes...I swayed) with an entire auditorium full of crazed Gleeks. We all knew all the words, and we all knew all the characters, and it was just a collective euphoria.

The highlights:

-Like a Prayer. You guys know this was one of my favorites from the Madonna episode. And hearing Mercedes and Rachel and Kurt and that choir singing it live... Let's just say I almost passed out after this number. It was that good.

-Sweet Caroline. Bah bah bah! This was SO much fun. The whole audience was on its feet, singing the lyrics right back to the Glee cast. Best karaoke song ever. Out of the dozens and dozens of Glee songs they could've picked for the concert, this was one of the smartest choices.

-True Colors. Tina C. (okay...Jenna Ushkowitz) got a little choked up near the end, right before the last line, "Your true colors...true colors...are beautiful like a rainbow." It was an emotional moment for her, and for that reason, for the audience, too. And then, after she sang the last line, she gave the audience a sheepish grin like, "Yep, this song makes me tear up." After that, some lady near me said, "She's so cute." Yes, she is. Tina, I mean Jenna, you have at least two fans for life.

-Bad Romance. The COSTUMES. They were the same ones on the show! I thought the only way Kurt could dance in those shoes was creative editing. But nope. There he was, on that stage, moving up and down on those bleachers, rocking the crazy Gaga shoes.

-It's My Life. Now you may have guessed already, but I'm a little obsessed with Harry Shum Jr. Particularly the way he moves. And I don't know if I've told you this, but I've watched that YouTube clip of the Glee boys' mashup of It's My Life/Confessions oh, about 10,000 times. My FAVORITE part is toward the end, where Harry gets front and center and basically levitates himself up off the floor. Every time I watch the video, I wait for it. And then I die of happiness. So, back to the concert. The opening chords to this number start, and I almost pull my sister's arm out of its socket, I am so ecstatic. And then, when that part comes up, and I see Harry dart to the front, I almost lose my mind. "OMG OMG OMG HE'S GONNA DO IT HE'S GONNA--" and then Harry goes and does his levitating thing and I become so spastic, my sister thinks I have lost my mind.

So that's it, in a nutshell. My first concert ever, and it was pure euphoria. I nearly lost my voice, and I must've sweated off five pounds, but it was so worth it. SO worth it. Thank you, Glee cast, for one of the greatest experiences of my life.

(Pictured: Me in my new Gleek hat. The Glee merchandise stand was a mob scene. Some girl tried to order ahead of us, but my sister talked right over her and very firmly gave OUR order to the cashier. My sister doesn't take any guff.)

O Be Gleeful.

2010-05-28T15:09:00.003-04:00

So...

Yours truly is going to the Glee concert tonight!

Words cannot describe.

How.

Excited.

Am!!!

American Idol: The End Of An Era.

2010-05-26T20:32:00.004-04:00

The American Idol finale is on right now, and I'm watching while typing this. Which is to say, I'm not really watching at all. Just half-listening.

I don't know what it is exactly. The fact that Crystal and Lee are similar in music style and taste? The fact that they're equally matched in stage presence, voice, and guitar skills? The fact that they are both likable and modest? The fact that Lee is probably going to win, so the suspense factor is sorely lacking?

It's probably all of the above, and then some. You know what else? The Simon Cowell factor. Tonight is the last we'll see of him on Idol, which means it'll also be the last time Idol does decent ratings, and it won't be long before a) Idol hires a serious game-changer as a judge, or b) Idol is canceled altogether.

I didn't think I'd be saying it just one year after 2009, the year Adam Lambert shook up Idol and made it a must-watch show every week. But the fact is, I think Idol's heyday is over.

Oh, and for the record: I'm rooting for Lee.

CSI: Miami: They All Fall Down. Literally.

2010-05-25T00:06:00.007-04:00

OMG.

The CSI: Miami finale.

Are they all dead?

I can't stand the suspense!

I can't wait until December to find out!

Oh, man!!

Glee Renewed For Season 3!

2010-05-23T20:29:00.005-04:00

Breaking news: Glee, which has not begun its second season, has not even finished its FIRST season, has just been picked up for a third season. Jump! Sing! Rejoice!

A McStunning Finale.

2010-05-23T11:59:00.005-04:00

I just watched the Grey's Anatomy finale, and I am blown away.

I don't think I exhaled once during the two hours.

Wow...

Network Upfronts 2010: And My First "A" Grade Goes To...The CW's Nikita!

2010-05-21T11:45:00.010-04:00

This was my first time at a CW upfront, and here is what I will take away from it:

-It was very loud. I had to take an ibuprofen afterwards, I got such a headache.

-It was hip, young, fun. Katy Perry came out and performed "Hot N Cold" and "California Gurls." The latter will be the CW's theme song running all summer long. Katy also dropped the F bomb, and I wanted to shield the ears of the little girl sitting next to me.

-Who was the little girl sitting next to me? Only the daughter of the CW president of entertainment, Dawn Ostroff. Here's how I found out: Me, to the lady next to her: "Do you work for the network?" Lady: "No, but her mom does." Girl: "My mom does. My mom is Dawn Ostroff." Me: [jaw drops] "Yeah, you could say she works for the network!"

-Naomi from 90210 came onstage, and she was clearly...off. Well, it's five o'clock somewhere.

-Maggie Q, the star of Nikita, is adorable and funny: "I don't think any of you understand how good-looking it is backstage. It's really intimidating. I had to push the A-cups up a little bit." Love. Her.

The CW, for the first time ever, will have an all-original line-up this fall. That means no more reruns of America's Next Top Model on Friday nights. Crazy, huh? The network also tweaked its schedule so that compatible shows air on the same night: 90210 and Gossip Girl on Mondays, One Tree Hill and Life Unexpected on Tuesdays, etc. There was no mention of Melrose Place (R.I.P.). The schedule looks solid overall, and there weren't many holes to fill. I think this may be the CW's best year yet.

Here are their new shows (there are only two!):

Hellcats (Wednesdays at 9PM)--A cheerleading drama set in college. Think Bring It On. It's produced by Tom Welling of Smallville. Hellcats stars Aly Michalka and Ashley Tisdale, both from the Disney Channel. Aly is a pre-law student who loses her scholarship and then she finds out there is a cheerleading scholarship so she tries out for the team and makes it. It's a little contrived, that plot, but the show looks really good. Oh, and it also resurrects two people from One Tree Hill: Psycho Derek and Q. Grade: A-.

Nikita (Thursdays at 9PM)--An Asian-American headlining a TV show? Perish the thought! Maggie Q kicks some serious butt in this remake of the 1990 movie, La Femme Nikita (which spawned two remakes and a TV series). This is also the first time the role of Nikita has gone to a non-Caucasian actress. The show is about a female assassin trying to take down the government agency that trained and then betrayed her. If the show is anything like the preview we saw, the CW may have a huge, action-packed hit on its hands. Grade: A. (My first and only solid "A" grade for any show of the 2010-11 season. And it's on the freakin' CW.)

(Pictured: Maggie Q in Nikita. Sad about the departure of 24? Here's your new Jack Bauer.)

Network Upfronts 2010: Holy Scheduling Changes, CBS!

2010-05-21T10:29:00.007-04:00

Man, it's been busy lately. On Wednesday, I went to the CBS upfront (my last one! sob) and yesterday, I went to the CW one (my first and last). More on the CW upfront in the next post.

The thing that CBS is known for is stability. It rarely changes its schedule. But this year, CBS is making huge, huge moves.

The two that stick out the most are 1) the move of CSI: Miami to Sunday nights at 10PM and 2) the move of Survivor to Wednesdays at 8PM. I know Survivor USED to air on a Wednesday, but as far as I'm concerned, Survivor and Thursdays are synonymous. This will take some getting used to. Or not, since I won't be watching any TV this fall (but I will be downloading everything to watch in December). And what will Monday nights be without Horatio and his sunglasses?

The other huge moves are CSI: NY on Friday nights (in other words...R.I.P. CSI: NY) and a comedy hour on Thursday nights where Survivor used to be. I'm not sure why CBS felt the need to switch their Wednesday comedy hour with Survivor. But I'm sure Nina Tassler has her reasons.

Without further ado, here are CBS's new fall shows:

Mike & Molly (Mondays at 930PM)--Sookie from Gilmore Girls and some bald dude play an adorable overweight couple who meet at Overeaters Anonymous. Sookie is a fourth-grade teacher and Mike is a cop. Their scenes together are funny and sweet. Did I mention they are adorable? I see real potential here. Grade: B+.

Hawaii Five-O (Mondays at 10PM)--CBS is replacing one sexy, sun-drenched show with another. I guess that's okay. Hawaii Five-O stars showkiller Alex O'Loughlin and consistent Daniel Dae Kim. And Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica and some dude who plays Danno. I never saw the original--it was before my time--but the theme song was familiar to me. All in all, the preview was forgettable, and I still don't understand the appeal of O'Loughlin. Grade: C-.

The Defenders (Wednesdays at 10PM)--According to Jim and Jerry O'Connell star as Las Vegas defense attorneys. O'Connell's character is such a cliche--he's described as someone "whose passion for the law is matched only by his love of fast cars, beautiful women and expensive clothes," barf. The plot bores me to tears, mostly because there IS no plot, it's just about lawyers who are buddies. Whoop-de-doo. Grade: F.

$#*! My Dad Says (Thursdays at 830PM)--Pronounced "Bleep My Dad Says." The PTC is pissed and wants everybody to boycott this show. That alone is reason to love it. Also, I subscribed to the Twitter feed way back when so I was already on board with the concept. And the third reason to watch? William Shatner as the dad. He's curmudgeonly, yet endearing. Everything he says is comic gold. Grade: A-.

By the way, here is what the PTC president, Tim Winter, had to say: "CBS intentionally chose to insert an expletive into the actual name of a show, and, despite its claim that the word will be bleeped, it is just CBS’ latest demonstration of its contempt for families and the public." What's with this "intentionally"? IT'S THE FRIGGIN NAME OF THE TWITTER FEED UPON WHICH THE SHOW IS BASED. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

Blue Bloods (Fridays at 10PM)--New York City cops. Aren't there enough shows about them? No? Okay. Blue Bloods is headlined by Jesse Stone himself, Tom Selleck. He's the family patriarch and all his kids are in law enforcement. One (Donnie Wahlberg) is a crooked cop (not a cliche at all), one (Will Estes) is a rookie officer who graduated Harvard Law but decided he'd rather be a cop, and the other (Bridget Moynahan) is an ADA. Oh, and Tom Selleck's dad used to be a cop, too. The preview looked okay, but too dark for me. Grade: B-.

Criminal Minds spinoff (Midseason, TBA)--Forest Whitaker stars. This show has been in the making for more than a year now, and they still don't have a title for it. How about Criminal Minds: Same Show, Different Cast? Yep, that'd work. Grade: B.

The CBS upfront had a LOT of stars in the audience. We saw Neil Patrick Harris, LL Cool J, Chris O'Donnell, the cast of The Big Bang Theory, and the cast of Hawaii Five-O, just to name a few. By the way, I sat about 10 rows behind Daniel Dae Kim. The man wore a white sport jacket and he looked stunning. For me, seeing him was the highlight of the whole thing. Long live Jin!

(Pictured: Daniel Dae Kim. The most beautiful thing to happen to CBS.)

Network Upfronts 2010: ABC Says, "More Shonda Rhimes, Please!"

2010-05-18T22:11:00.008-04:00

Yesterday, I watched the ABC upfront. ABC has apparently adopted the philosophy of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And if Shonda Rhimes wrote it, order it."

ABC has something going for it that NBC doesn't: First-place status. Not total-viewer status--that's CBS. But ABC and Fox have been dueling it out in the adults 18-49 demographic in recent years, especially during the spring when Fox has American Idol. Both ABC and Fox attract the kind of young, upscale viewers that NBC used to have with Friends and Seinfeld. Okay, I'll stop with the industry-speak.

Sidenote: NBC will tell you it's got the #1 show in the fall, but they're really just talking about Sunday Night Football, which doesn't count. It's a sporting event, not a television show.

Anyway. Regarding the first part of ABC's philosophy, the network is leaving most of its schedule alone. Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice and Dancing with the Stars and the entire Sunday night lineup are staying put. ABC does have a couple of holes in its schedule--it needs something to replace Hank on Wednesdays and FlashForward on Thursdays.

Here is a rundown of ABC's new shows:

No Ordinary Family (Tuesdays at 8PM)--Julie Benz from Dexter and Michael Chiklis from The Shield are parents whose family discovers they have superpowers after their plane crashes and they fall in a pond filled with magical shiny water. This one actually looked okay. Not knock-your-socks-off, but definitely potential. Grade: B-.

Detroit 1-8-7 (Tuesdays at 10PM)--It's a documentary-style drama following homicide detectives in Detroit on their jobs. It looked gritty and depressing. As I watched the trailer, one question kept running through my head: "Why would anybody WATCH this show?" I'm not even asking that sarcastically. I genuinely want to know. Grade: C.

Better Together (Wednesdays at 830PM)--A comedy about two sisters, one of whom is in a longtime dating relationship (we're talking 9 years) and the other is in a 7-week relationship and gets engaged. And their parents have been married 35 years and are totally wacky. Better Together looks cute and funny. And Joanna Garcia is in it, so you know it's good (R.I.P. Privileged). This show will fit right in with the rest of the Wednesday comedies. Grade: B+.

The Whole Truth (Wednesdays at 10PM)--I'm calling it now: The first canceled show of the season. At least on ABC. The Whole Truth is about telling both sides of a legal case, from the defense and the prosecutor. And, like, the defense attorney and prosecutor are totes BFFs from Yale Law! Oh, the drama! Grade: D.

My Generation (Thursdays at 8PM)--If you combined the Fox show Reunion and the ABC show Life As We Know It, you'll get My Generation. Wait, I just described this show using two shows that got canceled after the first season. Yikes. But fear not--this one's decent! It follows the lives of a bunch of twentysomethings, comparing who they are today to who they were in 2000, when they were seniors in high school. There's no other way to say it: It just. looked. good. Definitely worth checking out. Also, there's an Asian American actress in it named Anne Son. She plays a woman who, as a shy and geeky senior, slept with the high school jock and got pregnant by him and never told him...until ten years later. Dun dun dun! I don't even care that they totally ganked this plotline from Life Unexpected. I'm really hoping the show takes off. Grade: B+.

Secret Millionaire (Fridays at 8PM)--Fox aired it, and now ABC bought it. I don't know why. The concept is nice--rich people go into poor communities and live and work anonymously amongst the poor and decide to give $100,000 to the most deserving people. I'm already watching Undercover Boss. Sorry, Secret Millionaire. Grade: C.

Body of Proof (Fridays at 9PM)--Dany Delany, I love you. So I don't know why ABC is punishing you by giving you your very own show...and scheduling it on Friday nights! This show looks good--it's about a medical examiner solving crimes. And from the looks of the trailer, Dana can definitely carry her own show. Hey, ABC, I'd move this one to Tuesday nights at 10PM and get rid of that Detroit show. Grade: B.

Happy Endings (Midseason, TBA)--It's about couples. I actually forgot what this show was about (what with the glut of new couples comedies), so I just looked up the description from ABC. Okay, it's about what happens when a couple breaks up but they remain friends but not really because one of their mutual friends starts to like the guy and now everyone has to choose sides or something. Elisha Cuthbert from 24 is in it. I don't have anything else. Grade: D. Also, please change the title.

Mr. Sunshine (Midseason, TBA)--Matthew Perry plays a guy turning 40 and he runs a sports arena and his boss is Allison Janney. And there's a blond girl in it who he likes, but the girl is dating his boss or whatever. Blahh... I can see why this one's on the back burner. Grade: D.

Off the Map (Midseason, TBA)--The long-awaited eighty-seventh medical drama from Shonda Rhimes, the goddess behind Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. Off the Map, which needs a fresh title ASAP, is about three doctors who decide, screw this cushy life in NY/LA/Wherever We're From. We're going to South America! And of course, they're all fishes out of water, just like that episode of Chuck where Ellie and Awesome go to do Doctors Without Borders in Africa and it's pouring rain when they arrive and Ellie is miserable and Awesome contracts malaria but then it turns out the FBI guy was the one who made him sick. Wait, where was I? Oh, right. Off the Map. The trailer looked bleh. Also, I don't like the jungle setting. I'll give this one a shot, because Shonda has been 2-for-2, but I just don't know if this one will work out. Grade: C.

All in all, not a bad crop, but no standouts either like last year's Modern Family. Oh, well.

(Pictured: The cast of No Ordinary Family. Tom Shayes, you're alive! Rita, you're alive! Lady from CSI: Miami who got blown up by a car bomb, you're alive!)

In Memoriam...

2010-05-18T12:50:00.006-04:00

This year, it seemed an unjustifiably high number of big-time shows left us after successful runs on TV. Shows that changed the face of television. Shows that had an impact on society. Shows that left their imprint in our lives. Here they are, in no particular order:

24 (8 seasons): Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer once bit a chunk out of a guy's neck. Chloe. Edgar. President Logan. President Dennis Haysbert. Jack Bauer once bit off a man's ear. Tony Almeida. Michelle Dessler. Jack Bauer once cut off a man's head and put it inside a bowling bag. The CTU ring tone.

Ugly Betty (4 seasons): I still think about the Suarez family and wonder what they're up to. How are Hilda and Bobby? How is Betty in London? And I will forever miss Wilhelmina's one-liners and withering glares.

Lost (6 seasons): I will not miss this show. As well-written and nicely shot as it was, and as epic as the whole story was, there was a lot that aggravated me about the show. Kate and her love triangle. Juliet and her lack of facial expressions. The killing off of almost every minority. The appearance of random new characters late in the final season. The sheer arrogance with which the finale was written, like the creators were spitting in the face of every fan who had questions about the show.

Law & Order (20 seasons): The granddaddy of all law dramas, one that tied Gunsmoke's record for the longest-running American TV drama. I didn't watch Gunsmoke, and I didn't watch Law & Order. I should tip my hat to this show, because without it, there would not be a Law & Order: SVU.

So there you have it. However you felt about these shows, and whether you even watched them, you know that TV will not be the same without them.

Goodbye, Dell.

2010-05-18T12:44:00.003-04:00

I watched the Private Practice finale this weekend. It left me in tears. R.I.P. Dell.

Network Upfronts 2010: NBC, Better Get Used To 4th Place.

2010-05-17T16:47:00.014-04:00

Today I watched the NBC upfront at my office. It made me want to bash my head on the table, and not just because it ate into my lunch hour.

The new shows (and there are 13 of them) mostly ranged from bland to blander to OMG ARE THERE NO CREATIVE MINDS LEFT IN HOLLYWOOD?

Only one show made it onto my "maybe" list: The new Kathy Bates lawyer drama, Harry's Law (coming midseason). Kathy Bates plays a spunky patent lawyer named Harry (Harriet) who hates her job. So she starts up her own firm inside a former shoe warehouse. Or something. And she becomes a trial lawyer...a really good one. It doesn't sound like much, but it was the only show that didn't make me want to put a bullet through my eye.

The other new shows:

Undercovers (Wednesdays at 8PM)--Remember how I said I might check it out based on the casting alone? Well, the casting is still great (wow, black people who aren't just sidekicks!), but the show itself...meh. The trailer spent a LOT of time on the boring marriage of the lead couple, and how the marriage gets spiced up once they start going on spy adventures and killing people and running from explosions. It's like Chuck with married people, and not as funny. Grade: C.

Law & Order: Los Angeles (Wednesdays at 10PM)--Out with the old [L&O], in with the new. NBC didn't tell us much about the show. We don't even know who's going to be in it. Grade: TBD.

Outsourced (Thursdays at 930PM)--It has the most potential to be funny, and indeed, the clips we saw were pretty funny. Then I started thinking that it was offensive-funny, or at least dangerously close to being so. A whole sitcom poking fun at Indian accents and Indians trying (and failing) to act American? And it's one thing for Indians to poke fun at themselves; it's another thing to have a couple of white actors leading the show and the Indians are just there for comic relief (at least, that's what it seemed like). It made me uncomfortable. I'm hoping I'm completely wrong and reading WAY too much into this. Which I sometimes do. But I'm just sayin'. Grade: C.

Love Bites (Thursdays at 10PM)--NBC showed us a very long clip of this hourlong comedy. They called it a "vignette." I call it 15 minutes of not laughing. Basically it featured Greg Grunberg as this dude, and Craig Robinson from The Office as, what else, his sidekick. They're about to get on an airplane when they meet Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is on Greg's celebrity cheating exemption list. Long story short, it was entertaining for what it was, but not anything more than that. I like Greg Grunberg, though. Grade: C-.

Outlaw (Fridays at 10PM)--Jimmy Smits is back. He plays a Supreme Court justice who leaves the bench to become a lawyer. My coworkers seemed to like this one, but I was just bored. Grade: C.

Perfect Couples (Midseason, TBA)--I hate the concept of this show. It's about three couples (all white and hetero, of course) who hang out and play Charades and have awkward sex. I'm BORED just typing this. Grade: F.

Friends with Benefits (Midseason, TBA)--Another winner. This time, instead of COUPLES, it's a bunch of twenty/thirtysomething SINGLES. And the title is self-explanatory. Don't bother with this one, even though Riley from Melrose Place is in it. Grade: F.

The Cape (Midseason, TBA)--It's about a dad who reads comic books featuring a superhero called The Cape with his son at bedtime. Then the dad (a cop) gets framed for murder and is presumed dead and he goes into hiding and becomes The Cape and fights bad guys and abandons his son. But don't worry, he still finds ways to visit his son (incognito, of course) and share fatherly advice with him, like "Study math." This show looks less promising than Heroes, and that one died a most unceremonious death. I have no hopes for this one to save NBC. Grade: C-.

The Paul Reiser Show (Midseason, TBA)--I never watched Mad About You. So I don't know who Paul Reiser is other than his name, which occasionally appears in crossword puzzles. He has a new comedy which may/may not be based on his life (it was hard to tell based on the trailer, and also, I didn't care enough to pay attention). Grade: C.

Due to technical difficulties, we were unable to view the trailers for The Event and Chase, the two shows following Chuck on Monday nights. So I can't comment on how they look, only their descriptions. Also, NBC didn't talk about its new Friday night reality show, School Pride, so I won't comment on that either.

All in all, a most disappointing crop of new shows for NBC. Looks like it's a return trip to fourth place, Peacock!

(Pictured: An ad for the new "comedy", Friends with Benefits. "Hoho, let's stand on a rooftop drinking beers and gaze off into the distance/check our PDAs!" Meh.)

Network Upfronts 2010: Pickups, Cancelations And Renewals, Oh My!

2010-05-14T11:11:00.009-04:00

With the network upfronts next week, TV news is coming faster than I can post it, so I'll just run through a quick few things that stick out in my mind:

-Chuck has been renewed for a 4th season. Hooray! Subway sandwiches for all!

-V has also been renewed for a 2nd season. I can't believe I'm saying this, but...hooray again! The show has actually been getting good. Almost good enough for me to watch a whole episode while not reading Entertainment Weekly/working on my 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle.

-FlashForward has been canceled. Thanks for nothing, Joseph Fiennes! I said it once, and I'll say it again: John Cho should've been the lead. Then the show might've had a shred of a chance. Sorry, Penny Widmore.

-NBC's Rockford Files remake is DOA. Thank you, there must be a television god who doesn't like remakes either. Now, about that Hawaii Five-O...

-CBS ordered its first new show for fall: Mike & Molly. It's a sitcom about a chubby married couple. Sookie from Gilmore Girls is playing Molly. Hey, can we get Michel a show? He was pretty awesome.

-The Wanda Sykes Show has been canceled, giving network execs another excuse to say a late-night show starring a person of color will not work. Dang it! Wanda, you're one of the funniest ladies around. Fox's loss.

-The original Law & Order has been canceled. No wait, it hasn't. Wait, it definitely has. Actually, there might be a chance that it won't be. Eh, does anybody under the age of 87 really care?

***UPDATE***

Law & Order is officially done. But not to fear--NBC just ordered Law & Order: Los Angeles. I'm still waiting for Law & Order: Newark.

More to come as I hear about it...

The Bachelorette: Sponsored By The State Of Arizona.

2010-05-13T16:50:00.007-04:00

I just checked out the cast photos of the latest crop of bachelors vying for Ali Fedotowsky's heart. Out of 25 bachelors, almost all of them are white. Again.

Readers of this blog know by now that I am sick of this shiznit. Like, beyond sick. Just tired at this point.

I don't know how ABC chooses its bachelors (or bachelorettes). Maybe the chosen bachelor/bachelorette gets to describe his/her ideal mate, maybe he/she doesn't. Maybe the only people crazy enough to apply to be on this show are white, maybe not. But the fact of the matter is, season after season, the show ignores minorities, ignores gays, ignores anybody who doesn't fit a certain mode.

Sorry. I've been a little riled up lately with the whole Arizona thing. And I know I shouldn't let it, because it's the same old stuff every season, but The Bachelor/Bachelorette casting still finds a way to drive me up the wall.

I just had a random thought: Instead of the bachelorette handing the men roses, why doesn't she hand them cans of beer? Or, okay, something classier? Maybe a cuff link or something? I mean, what are men supposed to do with a rose? How come nobody else is talking about this?

(Pictured: Ali Fedotowsky, the newest Bachelorette. I like this picture. It's very Runaway Bride.)

NBC's New Fall Shows: How Do They Stack Up?

2010-05-11T13:31:00.007-04:00

So far, we know NBC has picked up the following five new shows for 2010-11: Chase, Outsourced, Love Bites, The Event and Undercovers. We'll be hearing more about them after the upfronts.

Here's how I rank them: Cliche, Potential, Cliche, New FlashForward, New Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

I like Outsourced because it just sounds funny: a white guy whose company makes random stuff (like whoopee cushions) has to go to India and run the call center there. He has to train all those guys on all things American so they can handle the customers. This show has potential, but in all likelihood, I'm not going to watch. The premise sounds like it'll get old fast.

I'm mixed on The Event, because after ABC introduced Lost, the networks have all had a terrible time trying to get similar conspiracy theory/time traveling/supernatural/worldwide disaster dramas off the ground. I want to give The Event a try, but it'll probably go the way of Jericho, and Daybreak, and Invasion, and (probably) FlashForward and V: Cancellation city.

Undercovers, about married spies, is interesting (to me, anyway) for behind-the-scenes reasons: The casting was done colorblind. That's practically unheard-of in Hollywood! And what ended up happening? They cast two leads who were both biracial. Gugu Mbatha-Raw is South African and English, and Kodjoe is German and Ghanaian. Because I support this crazy newfangled notion of colorblind casting, I will be checking this show out.

I classified Chase and Love Bites as cliches because no matter how hard I looked at their descriptions, I could not find one shred of originality in either of them. Chase is about U.S. Marshals hunting down fugitives. It's basically the American version of Flashpoint. Love Bites (worst title ever) stars the hugely talented and funny Becki Newton from Ugly Betty (R.I.P.), but the premise is so tired: two single gals try to find love as their friends settle down and get married. It's Rules of Engagement minus David Spade.

(Pictured: The stars of Undercovers, Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw. Two of the most gorgeous people walking this earth. Eat it, Brangelina.)

Network Upfronts: A (P)review.

2010-05-11T12:14:00.008-04:00

Next week is my favorite time of the year: the TV upfronts.

Since I work for a company that owns TV stations, I get to go to some of them. This year, I am definitely going to CBS's upfront on May 19, and there is a possibility of the CW's on May 20.

I have been to CBS three years in a row, and they always put on a good show. Last year, we saw Neil Patrick Harris and LL Cool J. I think Simon Baker came on stage, too. He's hot--I can see why CBS gave him a show. I think at some point, a person's hotness is so overwhelming, it doesn't matter if they can act or not, but if they can, that's icing on the cake. That's Simon Baker. One year, they trotted out Alex O'Loughlin and let the audience moon over him (get it? moon? as in Moonlight?). Last year, they told us about Undercover Boss, which had the whole audience sobbing. I always like the CBS upfronts, because they treat us so well. It really feels like an event.

I went to NBC's upfront a few years ago. My boss and I had terrible seats, all the way in the back. The upfront was mostly forgettable. I vaguely recall them talking about this new show Chuck. It was the only one I liked out of the 5 or 6 new shows they had that year. That was also the year they introduced that show with the cop who ate fruit. (Life. I just Googled it.) Another show they introduced was Journeyman. I'm not bothering to Google that one.

The CW. I have never been to their upfronts, but I did go to one of their events a few years ago. One of the sponsors (which shall go unnamed) gave us a bunch of goodies, one of which was a thing that shall also go unnamed, and I sold it on eBay for $300. That was awesome. I don't remember anything else from that event other than the room was very cold. I'm excited to (possibly) go to my first CW upfront this year. I love their programming.

ABC. For some reason, they haven't invited us to their upfront in years, at least not since I've been here. The closest they let me get was watching a live feed of the upfront at ABC headquarters a few blocks away from Lincoln Center, where the event was. They set us up in a conference room with a little TV in the corner up by the ceiling. I remember that was the year of Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, Big Shots, and Cavemen. A terrible year for new shows on ABC, as you can tell. The only one that made it out alive was Private Practice. I fell in love with Pushing Daisies from the get-go. R.I.P. Pushing Daisies. After that year, ABC decided we should just watch the upfronts at our own offices in our own conference rooms. Next year, I anticipate ABC will just send us a link to their website telling us about their shows. I keed, I keed, ABC! You know I love you.

The only upfront we never get to go to is Fox, because my company does not own any Fox affiliates. Which totally sucks monkey balls, because I bet the Fox upfronts are awesome. I mean, if tame, safe, older-skewing CBS can knock my socks off each year, I can only imagine what Fox does. Does Jack Bauer come out and kill the entire first row? Who knows!

My favorite thing about these upfronts is finding out which TV pilots made the cut. It's also fun to see how the networks schedule their shows around each other. Everyone likes to think they are the network to beat. Except for NBC. They're just trying not to be in 4th place every year.

Next week, I'll be posting my thoughts on the upfronts. Right now, my predictions: CBS will keep its lineup mostly intact (if it ain't broke...), ABC will add a ton of comedy (to try to expand on its Wednesday night success story), NBC will unleash a bazillion new shows and see what sticks, Fox will try to convince us to watch The Good Guys, really, it'll be great, and American Idol will be fine without Simon Cowell, really, it will be, and The CW will brag about Life Unexpected while pretending Melrose Place never existed.

(Pictured: Simon Baker at last year's CBS upfront. Yum.)

The Amazing Race Cowboys: Winners In My Heart.

2010-05-10T10:28:00.004-04:00

I was so disappointed last night. On The Amazing Race, the argumentative, petty, temperamental brothers Dan and Jordan beat the funny, friendly, idiot-savanty cowboy brothers and best friends Jet and Cord.

I loved those cowboys so much. They were fishes out of water in just about every challenge, and yet they found a way to enjoy all of them, no matter how clueless they were about what to do in them.

They were gentlemen through and through. They had two understandable chances in last night's finale to knock a brother to the side--when Dan and Jordan cut them in line, and again when Jordan was holding up Jet during the Star Wars challenge.

Unlike the quarreling brothers, Jet and Cord got along great. They never yelled at each other. They also never tried to steal anybody's cab (a TAR cardinal sin, IMO). They were just good guys, good people. I wish I knew them in real life.

Jet and Cord, it was a great run. Thank you for being a genuinely nice team in a season full of contentious brothers, lesbians, and models. It was a pleasure watching you.

Hey, Glee? Don't You Want Us To Actually Like Rachel Berry?

2010-05-05T13:47:00.020-04:00

Some episodes of Glee are all about the music, and others focus more on the characters.

Last night, it was the latter. My absolute favorite moment of the episode: Sue and her mentally disabled sister talking and reading in the nursing home. It was moving and sweet, and it brought a tear to my eye. Not that any of us ever even disliked the character of Sue Sylvester, because she is so caustically funny, but now we have another reason to worship her: She is a wonderful sister.

And then you have Rachel Berry. Disliked by her fellow glee clubbers, and now well on her way to being disliked by us, the viewers. Not good. I want to like her. The series started off with her as the underdog, the one with big dreams, the Plain Jane we were rooting for to get the guy. Basically, the heart of the show. Now, not so much. She was so abhorrent last night, breaking the hearts of Finn, Puck and Jessie in an attempt to feed her own ego. Oh, it killed me. "Eclipse of the Heart" was a terrific closing number (as all Glee closing numbers tend to be), but it was tainted by the fact that Rachel's self-absorption was the impetus behind it.

Glee, I know you've finished shooting for this season, and I know that it's too late to go back and change things. But I can't help but hope that sometime soon, and I mean within-the-next-episode soon, we'll see Rachel redeem herself.

Other highlights of the episode:

-"Run Joey Run." Hysterical. I can't believe someone actually sat down and wrote this song.

-Olivia Newton-John. The writer(s) who decided to make her an egomaniac inserting her own sales and career statistics into every sentence: Genius. And the "Physical" video? Funny, though not nearly as good as "Vogue." Sue, more music videos, please!

-Artie's line: "Maybe if we seemed more dangerous people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet." I love Artie.

Oh, and a note to Fox: Can you please cancel your plans to air that horrendous-looking new buddy cop show, The Good Guys? I have no plans to watch it, nor, I imagine, does anyone else on this planet. Every time the commercial comes on playing that song "Slow Ride" and that mustachioed guy (I hate mustaches) says "It's not a toy, it's an orange gun," I die a little inside. I am actually offended that you would put something like that on TV. So please, never air that show. Or at least, stop showing the ads during American Idol and Glee. Thanks!

Lost Progress Report: Midway Through Season 6.

2010-05-03T16:13:00.003-04:00

This weekend, the fiancé and I finally started watching the current and final season of Lost. We breezed through the first 8 episodes before The Amazing Race started. (Go Cowboys!)

Nope, I still don't know what's going on on Lost. I really don't have a clue what everyone's doing on the island. The Smoke Monster is Locke (but not really). Jin and Sun are still apart. Juliet set off a bomb and died. Claire is a crazy hag. Kate is on the island and... um...who's taking care of Aaron? Did I miss something?

Oh, and why is Tina Fey suddenly on Lost?

The only thing I understand and am enjoying about this season of Lost are the flash sideways, or as I like to call them, alterna-lives. They show what would've happened to all the characters had their plane not crashed in the ocean. And instead of leading separate lives, the characters still manage to cross each other's paths in very neat ways. My favorite alterna-life is Linus, who is a high school history teacher. His favorite student: Alex Rousseau. I also love that Hurley is Mr. Lucky. And he's still the same sweet, generous, funny guy. Shirtless Sawyer, Schmirtless Schmawyer. Hurley's the one for me.

The fiancé says he likes the island stories better. Screw the island! I much prefer the real world of the alterna-lives. After 5 seasons of coconuts and dirty faces and raggedy clothes, I'm loving the pressed suits and real furniture and real food. Can we get a Lost spinoff that consists of just the alterna-lives?

(Pictured: Tina Fey filming a scene at Central Park for 30 Rock? Or the new character Zoe (played by Sheila Kelley) on Lost? Which is it???)

10 Things I Hate About Cancellations.

2010-04-30T19:24:00.006-04:00

I am still recovering from the end of Ugly Betty. So it was not a good time to learn that another one of my favorite shows, 10 Things I Hate About You, has just been axed by ABC Family.

I've only blogged about this show once before, so maybe it's my own dang fault for not promoting the heck out of this little gem. 10 Things, I am truly sorry.

Why can't good shows last forever? I know there are people out there who say shows should never outstay their welcome. I agree--if the show's been on for 57 seasons (I'm looking at you, Bones...can anybody vouch that they actually watch this show?), but 10 Things is only in its sophomore season. The kids aren't even out of high school!

Lost. 24. Ugly Betty. 10 Things. I don't know why so many good shows are going to the great flat screen in the sky this year. Look for my "In Memoriam" post on all these shows in a couple of weeks, once we find out for sure which shows are coming back and which aren't.

Ugly Betty: The End of an Era.

2010-04-29T22:58:00.004-04:00

I just watched the last episode of Ugly Betty.

It was everything an Ugly Betty fan could want. We got to say goodbye to all our favorite characters--Marc, Amanda, Betty's family, Claire Meade, and Wilhelmina. We got to see Suzuki one last time. And in the episodes prior, we got to say goodbye to Henry and Gio and Christina.

We didn't say goodbye to Daniel. We didn't have to. He ended up moving across the Atlantic to spend time with Betty in London. I don't know who came up with the idea to end the show this way (Silvio Horta?), but it really, really, REALLY irked me. I mean, why??? After four years of being Betty's boss/friend, he now has FEELINGS for her? What??? I love this show, but this, this I just don't get.

That's my only complaint about how the show ended. Really.

Ugly Betty has special significance for me. I remember when I first started my job in television research, back in the summer of '06, and it was maybe a month in that I was given the chance to check out the new TV pilots from ABC. I honestly don't remember what else was in those pilot DVDs, but Ugly Betty was one of them. I remember sitting on my parents' bed with my sister and going through the pilots one by one. They were mostly eh. Then we got to Ugly Betty. Right away, my sister liked it. She knew it'd be a hit. I also enjoyed it. We were both excited to see more of it that fall.

Oh, and sidenote: Back then, the show was called Betty the Ugly. I liked that name. Then ABC changed it to Ugly Betty, and I thought, No! It was good the way it was! Now, I can't imagine what the show would've been like with the original name. I know a title's just a title, but still. It wouldn't have been quite the same.

Anywho, another personal relationship I have with the show is with Betty herself. Back when the show started, I too was a recent college graduate starting her first real job in New York City. My company wasn't full of mean assistants, and I didn't wear a poncho and walk into a glass wall on my first day, but I related to Betty nonetheless. And over the past four years, as Betty has matured and found her place at Mode, so too have I at my company. Now, after four years at Mode, Betty is moving on to a new life across the ocean. Now, four years after I started working at my company, I am moving on to a new life across the river. The East River, to be exact. I will be starting law school in the fall.

As I've blogged about previously, there are only three shows out there that just make you feel good watching it, and Ugly Betty is one of them. Betty, I salute you for entertaining your fans for four years. ABC, I salute you for giving us Betty as long as you did (though not long enough). I know I'll be thinking about this show for years to come, wondering what Betty and the gang are up to. I'm getting sad just thinking about it.

It's been a hilarious, heartwarming, colorful ride with Betty and her braces. Television will not be the same.

Ugly Betty, Stop Dating My Man!

2010-04-27T15:54:00.005-04:00

This weekend, the fiance and I caught up on the last 8 episodes of Ugly Betty. We are now just two away from the series...gulp...finale.

I'm going to write a whole 'nother post about the show, give it its due. But I wanted to write a quickie post today, to tell you something interesting and disturbing:

My fiance looks like Betty's latest squeeze.

His name is Aaron Tveit, and he recently appeared on Gossip Girl playing a congressman and Serena's married boyfriend. He's not an EXACT match to the fiance, but it's close enough to give me the willies. Imagine Ugly Betty grabbing your fiance and planting a big one on him.

I love you, Betty, but seriously, get your hands off my man!

(Pictured: Aaron Tveit. I mean my fiance. I mean Aaron Tveit.)

Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains: Blindsides, Blunders, and Banana Drama.

2010-04-23T10:59:00.003-04:00

Survivor is seriously crazy this season.

Week after week, something big happens. Take last night, for example.

Parvati had TWO hidden immunity idols. One she got last week, and only told one person (Danielle) about. The other one Russell gave to her, because he has fallen under her spell. (He is such a dude.) So at tribal council, Parvati does something unheard of in 20 seasons of Survivor.

She whips out one idol...and gives it to Sandra. She whips out the other idol...and gives it to Jerri. The votes are read, and most of them are for Jerri. The only other votes are for JT. So long, JT!

I cannot remember a season as riveting as this one, and that's including the season they segregated--sorry, separated the teams by race.

Parvati might be the smartest player in the game. Smarter even than Russell. She deserves to win. Go Parvati!

One last thing: Bananas are the best fruit ever. They are tasty. They are easy to eat--no washing necessary, and no peeler necessary. You can eat them any time of the day. Nothing spritzes into your eye when you try to open one. So yeah, I am 100% with Rupert and Amanda and the rest of the Heroes when it comes to banana etiquette. If you want a banana, get it yourself, and while you're at it, get some for everyone else. Don't be a banana Nazi!

American Idol And Glee: This Picture Says It All.

2010-04-21T21:11:00.003-04:00

A commenter who goes by Atheas recently shared a link to this picture, and I thought I'd give it its own entry because of what I (and untold thousands of Americans) experienced last night. Thanks, Atheas!

A Most Madgical Glee.

2010-04-21T14:35:00.015-04:00

***UPDATE***

There will be another Madonna episode this fall! Rejoice!

Last night's Glee was the episode we had all looked forward to since, well, since they first announced they were doing it.

Madonna.

I can't think of any way to organize my thoughts (as evident in my previous Glee post), so let's just start by running through the musical numbers.

1) "Ray of Light," featuring cheerleaders dancing on stilts. Whaaa? It started off cool, then became totally awkward with the stilt action. Not the best way to start off such a highly anticipated episode.

2) "Express Yourself" was better, and I think we actually got to hear Santana sing solo for a whole lyric! Tina C. didn't get any solos though. Quinn looked like a young Madonna.

3) "Borderline/Open Your Heart." Playful and sweet. Loved it. I generally like the Rachel/Finn numbers, and this was no exception.

4) The "Vogue" video. Still terrific the 26th time around (I'm kind of obsessed). And now, with context! I'd wondered why only Kurt and Mercedes were in it. And why there were those knowing looks between them.

5) "Like A Virgin." My favorite of the night! The song played along to a video montage of Finn, Rachel and Emma about to do the deed for the very first time with Santana, Jessie and Will, respectively. The singing? Peppy and innocent. The video montage? Part sexy and part chaste. Not easy to do, but Glee pulled it off. This one was a winner from start to finish.

6) Kurt and Mercedes' "4 Minutes," with accompaniment from a marching band and featuring about a thousand McKinley High cheerleaders. Great number. Not my favorite Madonna song, but the Glee kids gave it an urgency and energy not found in the original (sorry, Madge).

...and here is where I turned off the TV. It was 10PM, a commercial came on, and I thought the show was over.

Lesson for life (or for as long as Glee's on TV, anyway): NEVER TURN OFF THE TV UNTIL THE CREDITS ROLL. Actually, for the purposes of this blog, this lesson can be shortened to NEVER TURN OFF THE TV.

So what did I miss? ONLY THE BIGGEST NUMBER OF THE WHOLE SHOW:

7) "Like A Prayer." Upon checking the song list online to write this post, I could not remember this song from last night, so I went and found it on YouTube. The number started off the way most Glee numbers start off, with Lea Michele standing alone under a spotlight. Then the rest of the cast joins her, and the curtains rise, and (goosebumps here) a whole friggin' choir appears and everyone is raising their arms to the heavens and Mercedes is belting it out and I think I have seen God.

Dear American Idol: Kill off two judges. Right now. I don't care which two. Four judges = four (let's face it) extraneous opinions = Glee gets pushed back = I miss the ending = I want to hurt somebody. But I just spent the last hour watching/listening to/writing about Glee, so I'm feeling giddy and smiley and I will not be able to hurt a fly for the next six hours and 47 minutes. After that, I'm coming for you, Randy Dawg.

Other random notes: I loved the reappearance of Lauren Potter, who has Down syndrome and plays Becky the cheerleader. Big ups to Becky! Also, I am tired of all the Will hair jokes. Every other line uttered by Sue in Will's presence was about his coif. Enough already.

Best quotes of the episode:

"Madonna. Simply saying the word aloud makes me feel powerful...even in voiceover." -Sue

"Mercedes is black and I'm gay. We make culture." -Kurt

"When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist." -Brittany

An Earworm, Courtesy Of Last Night's Celebrity Apprentice.

2010-04-19T12:20:00.004-04:00

Thanks to The Celebrity Apprentice, I now have this song in my head:

Rain makes corn
Corn makes whiskey
Whiskey makes my baby
Feel a little frisky.

It's the most ridiculous chorus ever, even for a country song (and I love me some country music). Seriously. And yet, I can't get this out of my head!

Other things worth noting about last night's episode:

-Welcome back, Sharon Osbourne (halfway through, anyway)!
-Donald Trump has a weird fixation with bandanas.
-Goldberg likes percentages. A lot.
-I really like Bret Michaels. Man has a heart of gold, works his butt off, and is humble as they come.
-Luke Bryan is impossible to work with. Emily West is a sweetheart.
-Rain makes corn.
-Corn makes whiskey.
-Whiskey makes my baby--
-ARGH!
-Feel a little frisky.
-Cyndi Lauper gets progressively meaner with each episode. And she doesn't give a sh*t. "I'll send you my picture with a dartboard and you can throw it." Can you send me one, too?

This show gets crazier by the week, and it is 100% awesome. Well, maybe more like 90%. No, 87%. What do you think, Goldberg?

(Pictured: Summer, Sharon, Maria and Bret. I love Maria and Bret.)

Melrose Place: Noah, I Am Your Father. And Your Brother.

2010-04-19T11:44:00.014-04:00

This weekend, I caught up on two shows. One of them was Life Unexpected. Sidenote: After my post on Life Unexpected, the show's casting director Tweeted the post, and I got 59 hits in one day! I know, that's small potatoes compared to what other blogs get. But 59 is a record for Linda's TV, and I'll take it. Thank you, Jeff Meshel!

Anywho. After watching the Life Unexpected finale, I moved on to another show that also just had its season finale: Melrose Place. Unlike Life, Melrose is pretty much dead in the water. Nobody talks about it, nobody blogs about it ('cept me), and nobody watches it. Melrose had its finale on April 13, and only 1 million people saw it. Ouch.

Still, I love this show. I love the characters, I love the fashion, (Riley wears a LOT of purple--one episode, she went from a purple party dress to a purple T-shirt to a purple jogging outfit--consecutively!), and I love the snappy, overdramatic dialogue. Like Riley calling Ella "the vulture in Versace." How can you not love that??

And then there's this plotline. Let's backtrack: David (the Brad Pitt lookalike) has a little half-bro named Noah, who's the son of his dad and his stepmom, played by Brooke Burns. David and Noah have a really close bond, and David's very protective of Noah, at one point kidnapping him so he could take him to the carnival (the stepmom hates David and wouldn't let him see Noah).

Then we find out why David and Noah have such a close bond: DAVID IS NOAH'S FATHER!

I almost fell over on my couch, not unlike the way David almost fell over on the stairwell after reading his stepmom's letter.

Apparently, David and his stepmom once slept together, and Noah was the result. So let me get this straight. David is Noah's father and his half-brother. Vanessa (the stepmom) is David's stepmom and his baby mama and Noah's mom and Noah's stepgrandmother. David's dad, Michael, is Noah's grandpa and stepfather. Did your head explode?

Man, I love this stuff.

(Pictured: David, being lurk-y.)

Life Unexpected: Series Unrenewed (For Now).

2010-04-16T23:05:00.007-04:00

I just watched three episodes in a row of Life Unexpected (I'm up to the season finale), and let me just say: LOVE. Some blogger likened it to Everwood, and he/she is right. I laughed. I cried. I felt my heart get bigger.

I still can't spell his name without Googling it, but Kristoffer Polaha is terrific. And so is Shiri Appleby. And so is that little Britt Robertson. They have all grown into their roles, and now I'm totally addicted to this show. I no longer see Shiri Appleby and think Roswell. I no longer see Kristoffer Polaha and think of that failed ABC comedy starring Judy Greer as a high school guidance counselor. Oh wait, yes I do. But not really. I mainly see him as a man-child/awesome dad now.

Life Unexpected had its season finale earlier this week. It has not yet been renewed by the CW. Everyone seems to think it's a sure bet that this show will come back, and I'm inclined to agree. Still, CW, what are you waiting for? Put us out of our misery and just make it official already.

Just one small thing. Can you nix the theme song? I kind of hate it.

Hello, Hello, Glee!

2010-04-14T13:04:00.011-04:00

I had a meta experience last night while watching Glee.

It was during the last musical number (not "Vogue"--more on that stupendously awesome video later), "Hello Goodbye." Rachel and Finn were dancing around onstage. Artie was spinning around in his wheelchair.

I started to get a tear in my eye. A tear of sheer joy.

This is what television should be about. Joy. Not hoping someone gets eliminated or hoping a bad guy gets killed. Pure, simple joy. It is a rare show on television that gives its fans this feeling every week, and off the top of my head, I can think of just two other shows that does this as well as Glee: Chuck and Ugly Betty.

I don't even know where to start. Last night's Glee wasn't a gamechanger. Nothing major happened. It was just the simple return of a beloved show that left us for four months, making the winter feel colder and longer than it has ever been. Glee, your absence made my heart grow fonder.

Last night, we were introduced to a few new cast members: Idina Menzel and Jonathan Groff, who are both Broadway vets and already have ties to Glee. Idina costarred with Kristin Chenoweth in Wicked, and Jonathan is Lea Michele's BFF and former Spring Awakening costar. I didn't care much for their characters--Idina made out with Will, who is supposed to be dating Emma, and Jonathan looked like an '80s rock star. He looked about 30 years old. And speaking of looks, Idina is basically Rachel Berry in about 30 years. Holy future self, Batman!

Glee didn't change too much during its absence: Sue was still evil and funny, Terri was still just evil, Finn was still cluelessly cute, and Rachel was still...well, Rachel. Actually, Will changed a little--he is now a player, or at least, he fancies himself one. Whatever. I am still rooting for him and Emma to work things out. Also, Brittany the blonde cheerleader is hilarious. "Sometimes I forget my middle name."

Another choice line from the show: Rachel's "Who's there? I carry a rape whistle."

My favorite number of the evening was "Gives You Hell." I am listening to it right now as I type this (thank you, GummyBearGleeks for uploading it onto YouTube). Lea Michele's voice is pure magic. She can sing anything and make it ten times better than the original. Sorry, All-American Rejects. I like your version, but Lea killed it.

Oh and how foxy is Harry Shum, Jr. (aka Mike Chang)? CHEESUS. I don't know what I would do if he and John Cho ever appeared on a show together.

Fox did something very smart with the scheduling of Glee right out of American Idol. I don't know what ABC was smoking, putting V right after Dancing with the Stars. Or putting Shaq Vs...., well, putting that show anywhere on the schedule. But Fox, oh, Fox. You're a genius. Also, you're REALLY showing appreciation for your viewers. Glee right out of Idol. In fact, Glee DURING Idol. Did anyone else see Simon, Randy, Kara, or Ellen last night? Me neither. I was busy checking out Will and Sue and Finn and Tina C. and Artie sitting behind them.

Here's what was arguably the best part of the evening: The "Vogue" video. The original Madonna song was a little before my time, and I've only ever seen snippets of the video here and there. Didn't matter at all. Sue Sylvester was a genius, and so were Kurt and Mercedes and everyone else in the video. And so was the person who shot the video. And so was the person who changed the lyrics to "Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire. Sue Sylvester, dance on air" and "Lauren, Katherine, Lana too. Will Schuester, I hate you."

Isn't life better now that Glee's back?

(Pictured: Sue Sylvester vogueing. I spent about 20 minutes making that using screenshots from the video. The tilting is completely by accident. But it still came out pretty great, huh?)

Jersey Shore + Make It Or Break It = Last Night's CSI: Miami.

2010-04-13T10:54:00.007-04:00

I am one of those people who forever remembers actors from one show, and when they move on to other shows, I still call them by their old characters' names. For example, Dexter's dad is now on FlashForward. Michael (from Sunset Beach) is now on Grey's Anatomy. Lorelai Gilmore is on Parenthood.

And last night, Emily Kmetko and Lauren Tanner from Make It Or Break It were both on CSI: Miami. Whoa! MIOBI is one of my favorite shows--it airs on ABC Family, and it follows a group of young gymnasts as they try to make it to the Olympics. Emily is the awkward girl who's new to the group. Lauren is the rich mean girl whose dad is dating Emily's mom. On CSI: Miami, Emily was the fat girl who got skinny and got revenge on three people who tortured her back in college. Lauren was one of the girls involved in an almost-three-way with one of the jerks who tortured Emily. It's a long story. In the end, Emily ended up sitting in a jail cell. It was very sad. Wait, no it's not. She still has a chance to go for Olympic gold!

I love, love, seeing actors pop up unexpectedly on other shows. This sounds crazy, but I see them as their old characters. A couple of episodes of FlashForward ago, MIOBI's gymnastics coach showed up and began threatening Lloyd Simcoe and that Simon guy. Coach Belov, what are you doing?? You're supposed to be training the girls to beat the Chinese!

The other great thing about last night's CSI: Miami was that it was JERSEY SHORE THEMED. Holy awesomeness! The jerky guy who got killed by Emily Kmetko liked to pull his shirt up and refer to himself as "The Program." And all the kids attended Jersey University.

CSI: Miami, I love you.

(Pictured: Emily Kmetko and Lauren Tanner on Make It Or Break It. One "Program" short of a threesome.)

Hey, V! Lighten Up!

2010-04-12T21:16:00.003-04:00

This weekend, the fiancé and I watched the two new episodes of V that aired recently. V, like FlashForward, had the misfortune of getting its season sliced in half and going on forced hiatus for four months.

Seriously, what gives, ABC? Can you stop doing this? Why do you hate your viewers so? And don't even get me started on Ugly Betty.

Where was I? Oh, yes, V. Now don't get me wrong--I don't like this show. I didn't like Juliet on Lost, and I don't like her here, either. (She plays basically the same character in both.) But watching these two episodes made me think of another reason V falls far short of the quality of say, Lost.

V takes itself WAY too seriously.

For example, in one episode, Anna the head alien decides to mate with one of the nameless males on her ship. After she does her thing (it takes about four and a half seconds total), she goes, "It's done. My eggs are now in need of nourishment," and whips her head around and eats her mate alive. This would've been a funny, campy scene, except...it wasn't. It was done in a way that you felt obligated to think, "Wow, that's some hardcore alien-lizard- mating! This Anna means business! Don't mess with her!"

I can't get into a drama that tells me I should feel serious about something. If I can't laugh at it, I don't want to watch. I often laugh at 24 and CSI: Miami, because they practically invite you to have a good chuckle. Look, Jack Bauer just killed six men after being shot in the stomach! Look, Horatio just paused in the middle of his sentence! For no reason!

V, on the other hand, is just one thing after another. Oh no, the black dude's wife is pregnant with a lizard baby. Yikes, they're torturing another 5th Column traitor. Oh, and those aliens just killed themselves. This is an remake of a corny old '80s alien show, for crying out loud. Make me laugh! Or at the very least, make me crack a smile and go, "That is ridiculous...ridiculously awesome."

There is nothing ridiculously awesome about V.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe I shouldn't compare it to Lost (even though ABC wants it to be the next Lost). Maybe I shouldn't compare it to other ridiculous dramas (even though V is a drama with lots of ridiculousness potential). Maybe I should just shaddup and watch the dang show.

But, as I like to say, life's too short to watch bad TV. Life's also too short to watch TV you can't poke fun at...especially if the show can't even poke fun at itself.

What's On This Summer, ABC?

2010-04-09T15:58:00.004-04:00

ABC announced its summer schedule a few days ago. What should you watch? I mean, besides Big Brother? Here are my three picks:

1) Dating in the Dark. I essentially wrote a love letter to this show back in February. Too bad I have to wait until August 9 for new episodes.

2) Anything Primetime. There are several series, including Family Secrets, Crime, The Outsiders, and What Would You Do?. WWYD is the best one--it sets up psychological experiments with innocent bystanders. One episode, they had a white couple fighting on a park bench, and the guy was getting physical, and people stepped in to help the girl. Then they had a black couple fighting, and people just looked on warily. Good stuff. Unfortunately, ABC hasn't booked WWYD for this summer (yet). But they did schedule this new one, Mind Games. It's all about the "darkest corners of the human mind and how it can be twisted." One of the episodes will focus on children who kill. Color me intrigued. Mind Games premieres July 20.

3) Wipeout. People face-planting on giant red balls. 'Nuff said. Wipeout premieres June 1.

ABC also scheduled 3 new dramas/dramedies: Rookie Blue, about a bunch of rookie cops, The Gates, about a family moving to a mysterious town, and Scoundrels, about a crime family attempting to go straight when the dad goes to jail. Five letters: ZZZZZ.

And there's a new game show, Downfall, played on top of a skyscraper, with contestants' winnings get thrown over the side of a building if they miss a question. Interesting premise, but I can see the novelty wearing off after oh, one episode. Sort of like Deal Or No Deal.

The best thing about summer is that, unlike December/early January, the networks don't all phone it in. Sure, 90% of the new offerings are crap. But at least they're trying.

FlashForward: Why Isn't Anyone Watching? Let Me Count The Ways.

2010-04-09T15:11:00.005-04:00

FlashForward returned with new episodes a couple of weeks ago, and I've watched two of them. So far, it's a mixed bag.

The good, the bad, and the ugly of the new episodes of FlashForward:

The good:
-Every scene with John Cho. I'm sweating just typing his name. Geez. Whether he's arguing with his fiancée, or having a heartwarming chat with Janis, or running after a bad guy, I can't take my eyes off him.
-I love that Janis is fighting to have her future baby girl. I think she'd be a good mom. By the way, what happened to her girlfriend? Did they break up or something? I can barely remember what I had for dinner last night, let alone what happened in an episode that aired last December. Remember that, ABC, and all other networks, the next time you make your shows go on a four-month hiatus in the middle of a season.

The bad/ugly:
-Joseph Fiennes and Lloyd Simcoe (I don't know the actor's name, nor do I care). Their scenes bore me to tears. Approximately 75% of the 2nd episode consisted of Joseph and Lloyd rehashing their flash forwards: who called whom, who texted whom, who slept with whose wife when such calling/texting occurred, and what it all means, blah blah. MAN.
-You know how each episode of Lost focuses on one character, but they also show the broader plotlines going on with the other characters? FlashForward is doing that in reverse. Instead of focusing on one character, they focus on ALL BUT ONE character. In the first episode, there is no mention or appearance of AA dude and his soldier daughter. None whatsoever. Then, in episode 2, AA dude and his daughter are all over the place. But Olivia is gone. This is so bizarre and distracting, it takes away from my enjoyment of the show. Or maybe I'm just really, really neurotic.
-Can someone explain to me what happened to the Japanese girl? They spent a whole episode on the orderly dude going to Japan and knocking on doors and going to restaurants to try to find the girl from his flash forward. Now all of a sudden he's BFFs with the nanny? Visiting her and her crazy mom and gluing pennies on the wall? What?

FlashForward is currently on "bubble" status, which means it's on the verge of cancellation. Oh, FlashForward, you were so promising back in September. And now look where you are. I'm truly disappointed.

(Pictured: Janis and Demetri, my two favorite characters. Even covered in wounds, John Cho is dang hot.)

Glee Is Coming Back Soon. Preach.

2010-04-07T11:54:00.005-04:00

We are now less than one week away from the return of Glee. It's been four months since the last episode.

The funny thing is, Glee has been in my life this whole time anyway. I follow most of the stars on Twitter. I became a fan of Glee on Facebook. I bought both Glee soundtracks for my sister for Christmas, in the hopes that she would burn them both and give me copies (she did). I've been lapping up the promos that air during American Idol. I even checked out the pictures from when they went to the White House. I tried (and failed) to buy tickets for their NYC concerts in May. (One of the concerts was the day before my wedding. Yes, I would've gone.)

Stalk much, you say?

Glee returns next Tuesday at 9:28PM. Right after American Idol. My toes are twitching just thinking about it.

Lost Progress Report: Season 5.

2010-04-06T16:45:00.011-04:00

I don't even know what to say at this point. I haven't a clue what's going on with this show. I didn't even watch most of the episodes. It was all so confusing.

Too many friggin characters. Too many times. Too many plot points. I have no idea what John Locke is doing, or if he's the real John Locke (I read somewhere that he's the smoke monster or something). I don't know what's the deal with the submarine.

I wonder what happened to Penny and Desmond. I kind of miss them. I started watching FlashForward's new episodes last night, and I was like, Oh, Penny. So that's where you are.

So Juliet finally died. I think. Well, fine by me. I never liked her. I was also sick of the Juliet-Sawyer-Kate-Jack love quadrangle. Blahhhh who cares? Also, this must be how Juliet ended up on V. Leading a boring resistance against aliens.

Widmore and Jack's dad keep popping up in random places. I get those two confused a lot, because they're both rich, elderly, evil dads.

Michael has disappeared (read: forgotten by the writers) again. Walt has undergone puberty and now attends private school in NYC. I wonder if he knows Jenny Humphrey.

Vincent the dog (pictured) is hanging out with Rose and Bernard. He probably has a better idea of what's going on with this show than I do.

24: The Silent Clock.

2010-04-06T13:47:00.005-04:00

Wow. Let's just say I am so glad that last night's 24 was a two-parter. There was no way the first episode by itself would've sufficed for a whole week. What a fantastic two episodes!

Some highlights:

-The shocking ending. Who saw that one coming? Let's rewind by about ten minutes: As Jack & Co. were going up the stairs, searching for President Hassan and the terrorists, I kept thinking how long-winded the masked hostage-taker was, the one who was reading the list of Hassan's so-called crimes. For crying out loud, he just kept going on and on and on. And on. It was getting ridiculous. And then we all found out THE VIDEO WAS PRERECORDED. Hassan was already dead. Holy moly. It was so sad. And there it was, that silent clock.

-Renee has the reflexes of a cat. Before I could shout at the TV, "SHE'S GOT A GUN!" Renee had already whipped out her gun and shot the blonde-wigged terrorist. Whew.

-Dana got hers. I was only sorry Jack didn't torture her for very long. Also, is anyone else wondering where the wimpy, meek Dana of episodes 1-12 went? It was like they swapped out that Dana for cool-cucumber Dana. I'm not buying this. Hey, writers! Next time you have someone suddenly be the mole, can you at least...wait. This is the last season of 24. Never mind.

-I. Love. Cherry. Jones. She laid the smack-down on Rob Weiss! I want her to be my real president. Can we co-elect her and Dennis Haysbert in 2016? I know they're not real presidents, and Dennis was assassinated on the show, but how great are they? And speaking of presidents, who else is excited for President Logan's return next week?

I had to miss Chuck to catch this two-hour 24, but it was totally worth it. TOTALLY WORTH IT. I only wish every week could be two hours of 24. But if wishes were fishes, we'd all be living underwater.

The Best/Worst Idea Ever.

2010-04-05T18:20:00.005-04:00

Allow me to gank from myself. That sounds dirty, but it's really not.

I am a regular blogger at www.8asians.com, and today I wrote a post about a casting call for an Asian-American version of Jersey Shore. Here is the post, in full. Enjoy!

And for those of you reading this blog who don't know what I look like, well, there ya go. A teeny thumbnail from three years ago.

Miami Medical: Why Bother?

2010-04-02T12:00:00.006-04:00

Apologies for the dearth of blogposts lately. I've been insanely busy of late. Trying to plan a wedding, trying to apply for scholarships for law school, trying to clear up an identity theft thing (another reason to hate Jersey--some scumbag there tried to use my name to open a line of credit), trying to get work done at the office.

Also, I'm sick of blogging about the same old shows--Lost, 24, American Idol. I'm pretty sure you're sick of reading about them, too. Or maybe you're not. I hope you're not.

Anywhosers, this morning, I saw a commercial for the new CBS drama, Miami Medical. It premieres tonight at 10PM. The show looks like Grey's Anatomy set in Miami. I'm torn on this. On the one hand, I love shows set in Miami. And by shows I really mean just two shows: Dexter and CSI: Miami. On the other hand, I'm sick of these same old dramas. Why do all these shows on TV focus on the same three subjects over and over and OVER: crime, law, and/or medicine?

I'm also hesitant to start watching a Friday night show. I don't know why networks bother scheduling new shows there. Nobody watches TV on Friday. Even Friday Night Lights didn't originally air on Fridays. Since CBS put Miami Medical there, it's all but guaranteed to get low ratings, which means it'll get canceled pretty quickly, which means there's no point in watching, which means it'll get low ratings. It's a vicious cycle.

Miami Medical (originally named Miami Trauma, and both names could not be more boring) stars a guy named Mike Vogel. He's that dude who's had roles here and there and you'd know his face but not really. He's no McDreamy, and he's no Delko. Rounding out the cast are Lana Parrilla, Jeremy Northam, Elisabeth Harnois, and Omar Gooding. Their names are vaguely familiar. Vaaaaaguely.

So why start watching this show at all? I can't think of a single reason. Overused concept, unknown cast. Sorry, Miami Medical. Looks like you'll be joining that great hospital drama in the sky. Say hi to Three Rivers for me.

24: The Clock Will Finally Stop Ticking.

2010-03-29T12:21:00.010-04:00

Fox announced over the weekend that this quasi-abysmal, quasi-awesome eighth season of 24 will be its last.

I have mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, the series has been uneven throughout its run. One good season followed by a bad. Probably my favorite seasons were 1) the first one, b) the one where Edgar died (still mourning that), and c) the one with President Logan.

Actually, I just Googled it, and Edgar died during the season with President Logan. So really, 24 has only had 2 awesome seasons and 6 okay/meh ones. That's kind of depressing.

On the other hand, I love 24. I've never missed an episode (this is not the same thing as "I've never fallen asleep while watching an episode"). I have two Jack Bauer action figures (anniversary gifts from the fiancé). I still get excited on Mondays from mid-January to mid-May, because even if there is nothing else to watch, there's always 24.

What I also like about 24 is that by now, I always know when someone will get shot, which is helpful when you're someone who can't stand the sound or sight of that sort of thing. (I always cover my ears and close my eyes.) I also know that no matter what kind of danger Jack is in, whether he's being tortured or defusing a bomb or getting shot at by the bad guys, he'll never be really hurt. I mean this season alone, he was shot in the gut and that very same hour, he scisscor-kick-snapped the neck of the Russian bad guy while handcuffed to a pipe in the ceiling...after being tortured by said Russian bad guy.

The end of 24. It feels more like the end of an era. I remember when it first premiered, just after 9/11, and how we lived in a different time back then, when the Muslims were the bad guys. Wait, the Muslims are still the bad guys. Thanks for never changing, 24!

While Watching The View...

2010-03-27T10:34:00.008-04:00

I was watching The View, and the ladies were talking about this 16-year-old kid named McKay Hatch.

Fiancé (turns around): Who's that?

Me: Oh, it's this kid who started a no-cussing club at his school.

Fiancé: F--- that.

American Idol: It's Gotta Be The Pouf.

2010-03-24T13:52:00.015-04:00

Last night, Andrew Garcia performed "Heard It Through the Grapevine" on American Idol. Right in the middle of the performance, my fiancé said thus:

"I think he's channeling...uh...what's his name..."

(I'm thinking, Marvin Gaye? Jason Mraz?)

"Kim Jong-Il."

Holy Plot Twist, 24!

2010-03-23T16:56:00.004-04:00

I was totally floored last night, and not just because our wedding caterer canceled on us with just eight weeks to go (this has since been cleared up, PHEW).

No, I was also shocked by the revelation at the very end of last night's episode: Dana Walsh is working with the terrorists!

Up to this point, I had thought Dana the most useless character ever created for television. Distracting us from the terror plot du jour. Patronizing Chloe. Taking screen time away from Jack. Destroying poor Cole's life. Annoying us with her hair constantly over one shoulder. But finally, finally, Dana Walsh has reason to exist on this show!

I can't wait to see how this all goes down.

I just hope that at some point, Chloe has to Tase Dana to get information out of her. I'd have Jack do it, but it would just be nice to see Chloe whip out ole Shockey again. Remember when she Tased a dude at the bar? Twice? That was awesome.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

Welcome back, 24!

The Amazing Race: Champagne Tower Of Terror.

2010-03-22T20:52:00.002-04:00

I swear, this season's Amazing Race has got to be an alcoholic's nightmare. First the beer boot challenge, and now this leg, which included building a champagne fountain, popping a bottle of bubbly, and searching for grapes in a large field.

Totally bummed about Jeff & Jordan, who were booted off The Amazing Race last night. I was hoping for another non-elimination, but I agree with the fiancé, who said, "If it's another non-elimination, I call foul."

Besides the cowboys, I am now rooting for Steve & Allie, the father/daughter team. (By the way, does anyone else think Allie is Shenae Grimes' sister from another mister?) Oh, and there was a shout-out to duct tape, one of the best inventions EVAR. Steve is hilarious, Allie is kind, and they are a joy to watch. Just look at their picture. How friggin adorable are they???

What's Basketball Got To Do With It (This Blog)?

2010-03-19T11:17:00.003-04:00

Right now, NCAA March Madness is everywhere. Everywhere, that is, except my living room.

Seems like everyone and their mother is doing a bracket. I went to look it up on cbssports.com, not because I was interested in creating one, but because I wanted to see if my alma mater (Syracuse) was in the playoffs. I am a lousy alum, by the way.

This is how clueless I am about NCAA brackets. To find my school, I first checked in the northeast quadrant of the bracket. Because Syracuse is in the northeast part of the country. Logical, right? Wrong. I couldn't find it. So I checked the other quadrants, just in case. I finally found 'Cuse in the southwest quadrant. Huh???

Where am I going with all this? Well, thanks to March Madness, CBS preempted Survivor last night. This was the first Thursday since the premiere that a) I was actually home to watch it and b) it did not conflict with an American Idol results show. I was really excited to see Survivor live. Especially because a couple of weeks back, I found out Cirie got kicked off before I got to see the episode. Gah.

In the end, I had a very enjoyable evening with my cat, a bowl of penne tossed with olive oil and garlic salt and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese, and the ladies of The View (the fiancé was at a lab meeting). But still, I missed Survivor. And there's not going to be a new episode until next Wednesday.

I guess in the meantime, I'll actually watch some basketball. Syracuse plays Vermont at 9PM tonight. Go Orange!!!

By the way, that's a picture of our mascot, Otto the Orange. Yes, an orange.

American Idol: A Honky-Tonk Vote.

2010-03-17T12:27:00.003-04:00

So last night, I voted for the very first time on an American Idol contestant this season. I know, I know, with my slavish devotion to the ousted John Park and redirected loyalty to Aaron Kelly, you would think that by now, I'd have voted at least once.

Nope. Try as I might, I could never bring myself to pick up the phone and call.

But something changed last night. Not only did I enjoy Paige Miles' version of "Honky Tonk Woman", but I realized something: Girlfriend is not long for this show.

The judges are "eh" about her. The blogosphere doesn't even talk about her. And yet, she might be the only female contestant left who sings songs people would actually buy. She's pop with a little soul and a little country. She reminds me a lot of Kelly Clarkson, actually. And not just because she sang her song a few weeks ago.

Sadly, I don't think Paige is long for this competition. Each week, she's on people's lists of elimination predictions. She's forgettable and I can't surmise anything about her personality.

But still. I really liked her song last night. And so as soon as the show ended, I picked up the phone to vote for her. I called about five times. And EVERY SINGLE TIME, I got through. I got so depressed that other people weren't voting for her, I stopped calling.

I hope I'm wrong about Paige going home soon. But if she leaves us tonight, at least we'll get to hear her sing "Honky Tonk Woman" again.

Lost Progress Report: Season 4.

2010-03-16T18:30:00.005-04:00

This weekend, I finished watching the 4th season of Lost. And by "finished" I mean "slept through" because I was dead tired. It made no difference, anyway, because I probably would've understood it just as much (read: not at all) if I had actually watched it.

This was the most confusing season for me. I know what I wrote earlier about the five stages of Lost, and how I'm in the Acceptance stage, meaning I've come to accept that I do not understand anything that's going on and that's OK. But somehow, Lost managed to reach further into the depths of obscurity this season, unearthing even MORE plotlines and MORE characters and MORE times.

What do I mean by times? Well, we used to have the present with flashbacks. Now we have flash forwards--which I knew were coming, but I didn't realize they'd be executed so confusingly. The Oceanic 6 are off the island, but they want to go back. But what happened to everybody still on the island? What've they been doing for three years? How come we aren't privy to seeing any of it?

Also, what's going on with Widmore? The fiancé tried to explain it to me, how Widmore is interested in the island and wants to keep it to himself or whatever. Yeah, I don't get it either.

The Penny-Desmond reunion was really sweet. I'm liking Sonya Walger 1,000 times more in this role than as Olivia in FlashForward.

I also like the new character Miles. He's quite the snarkster. My people are all over Lost this season--Miles, Sun, Jin. Okay that's only 3 people, but I'll take it. I also started watching season 5, and it features Dr. Chang, the Dharma Initiative guy. And, though I haven't seen him yet, there is another Asian guy with a goatee who is somehow involved with the Temple (no clue what that is, or who the Asian guy is, but I read about it in EW). Yes they killed off all the black people (Michael's still around, but just barely), but Lost is at least replacing them with other people of color. High-five for diversity!

Greek Love.

2010-03-12T12:22:00.005-05:00

It's not often I do this, because I'm more prone to being sarcastic and cynical about TV shows, about the lack of diversity, the annoying characters, the boring plotlines, blah blah. Because what fun is a blog if all I do is say nice things?

But I want to take a moment here to say how much I love Greek. It's campy, it's fun, it's funny. I want to live in the world of Cappie and Casey & Co. A world where it never rains (as Cappie pointed out in a recent episode: "The weather [here] never seems to change"), where college professors are quirky, where grades never seem to matter, where sorority houses worship stuffed pink cats named Mr. Purrs-a-lot.

The characters feel like family. I want Casey to be my sister. I want Ashley to be my friend. Cappie and Calvin as my brothers. Rusty, of course, would be the creepy uncle to stay away from.

You guys know that song by Mr. Big, "To Be With You"? It's really popular at karaoke bars. Anyway, the song will forever be tied to Greek for me, not only because it was featured in an episode last year, but also because of its nostalgic flavor, the sense of longing I feel when I listen to it. It's like your high school graduation song. You'll remember it forever.

Greek's next season will be its last. But I'm not ready for the Greek gang to graduate. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Is it me, or did this blogpost suddenly take a turn for the depressing? Anywho. I don't want to say goodbye to Greek. So for right now, I'll just enjoy the show while it lasts.

Katherine Heigl Leaving Grey's Anatomy.

2010-03-12T11:52:00.002-05:00

Good riddance.

American Idol: A Sad Revelation.

2010-03-11T12:19:00.006-05:00

I realized something this week: American Idol no longer excites me.

I don't know if it's the contestants, or the lack of talent, or what. But these days, AI is no longer appointment TV for me.

The front runners. I am so bored by them. I have NO PLANS to buy CDs from Lilly Scott or Siobhan Magnus or Crystal Bowersox. Sure, they were entertaining in the beginning, bringing something new and funky to the table. Now I'm over it. I want my freaking ballads back!

These three girls are so far out of the mainstream, they'll appeal only to niche fans. As for the guys, the current favorite seems to be Michael Lynche, who consistently gets positive feedback from the judges. I just see him going the way of Ruben Studdard. Big, lovable black man who sings really well, but has zero appeal beyond the show.

And now, thanks to myself, I have "Sorry for 2004" stuck in my head.

Don't get me wrong. I like all these people. I just wouldn't buy any of their music. And I don't think America will, either.

And is it just me, or are the judges totally biased against mainstreamers this season? Katie Stevens and Katelyn Epperly get so much flak every week. And yet, if Katie made an album, people would probably buy it. Creedence Clearwater Revival? This is not 1968!

Oh and speaking of things I don't want to hear again: Genie in a Bottle, sung at a slightly frantic pace with guitar accompaniment. WTF, Andrew Garcia, WTF???

Big Love: Incest, Schmincest.

2010-03-10T12:18:00.016-05:00

"How can there be incest when there's no intercourse?"

How, indeed. This is the question raised by JJ in the season finale of Big Love. Allow me to explain.

One of the show's many plotpoints this season was this: Nicki is having trouble getting pregnant, so she's been seeing this Mormon doctor for special treatments. The doctor finally tells Nicki her eggs are no good, she's infertile. Nicki gets depressed. Then Nicki's ex JJ finds out, and starts scheming. By the way, there's a subplot about how there's been a spike in deformed babies coming out of Juniper Creek and people are accusing the Mormons of inbreeding.

Anywho. JJ somehow gets Nicki's doctor to try to implant an embryo in Nicki. What kind of embryo, you ask? One that comes from the union of his sperm and Cara Lynn's egg. Who's Cara Lynn, you ask? His and Nicki's DAUGHTER.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Thankfully, Nicki's mom storms into the doctor's office just in time to stop him from implanting the embryo in a drugged-up, semi-concious Nicki. What is Nicki's mom's involvement, you ask? Well, she happens to be pregnant. With a JJ/Wanda embryo. But who's Wanda? JJ's SISTER.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Turns out JJ has been running a no-sex incest clinic, which explains all the deformed babies. Why is JJ running a no-sex incest clinic? I don't know, and I didn't feel inclined to rewatch the episode to find out. Anyway, the WHY here is not so important as the WHAT. And that WHAT is something I'd like to forget about as soon as I finish writing this post.

Oh, and the other thing that happened in the finale was Bill finally came out as a polygamist. He had just won a seat in the state senate, and during his speech, decided to introduce himself and his three wives. I love that after he introduced his second wife, some random lady in the crowd yelled out, "How many ya got???"

All in all, it was a bizarre, sickening, yet satisfying way to end the season. What will happen to the Henricksons now that they're public? Will Bill keep his seat? Will Nicki get pregnant? Will Adaleen (Nicki's mom) give birth to her daughter/granddaughter? We'll find out next season!

Undercover Boss Renewed For Second Season. You're Welcome, CBS.

2010-03-09T20:37:00.002-05:00

About three months ago, I wrote about a certain little-known reality show that was debuting after the Super Bowl. It was called Undercover Boss, and many people scoffed at not only the concept of the show, but the fact that of all shows, THAT was the one getting the cushy post-Super Bowl spot.

Well, CBS was right. The show is averaging 18.7 million viewers on Sunday nights, even up against heavyweights like the Winter Olympics and Desperate Housewives. And now it's been picked up for a second season.

Woop woop!

As I have blogged previously, in the months leading up to the Super Bowl, plus on the night of the big game, people were finding my blog by Googling "What show airs after the Super Bowl?" So I like to think I sent a few readers CBS's way. CBS, I accept cash, credit, and Snickers bars.

Lie To Me Returns June 7. I'd Care, If I Still Watched.

2010-03-09T20:32:00.004-05:00

Around this time last year, I was still watching Lie to Me. For those not in the know, and judging by the ratings, that would be the overwhelming majority of the American population, the show is about a guy (Tim Roth) who solves crimes by reading people's expressions to see if they're lying. He leads a team of fellow expression-readers, none of whom are remotely interesting in their own right.

Lie to Me's premise is one that sound cool at first, and then you start to wonder if they can pull off more than a handful of episodes before the show becomes boring and irrelevant. Sadly, this was exactly the case with Lie to Me. I'd forget to download an episode, and then I'd realize...I didn't care! And before I knew it, it was 2010 and I was read the headline that the show is returning in June.

My first thought: When was it ever OFF the air?

Airing out of Lie to Me on Monday nights is the new dramedy, Good Guys (originally titled Code 58). It's about two cops who...eh, no one cares. Fox, please stop shoving new action shows down our throats and spin off Glee!

Starring Hugo "Hurley" Reyes As Himself.

2010-03-08T12:05:00.006-05:00

I normally don't like sharing links here (because that would send you AWAY from my blog), but this Lost mashup video starring Hurley is just too delightful to keep to myself. Enjoy, all.

And if you're not smiling by the end of it, you have no soul.

American Idol: Four Contestants Down, A Million To Go.

2010-03-04T22:46:00.009-05:00

I'm depressed right now. John Park was voted off American Idol.

But...we all saw it coming. And...it wasn't like he made it to Top 3 and then bit it. So the agony of defeat is mitigated by the fact that HE HAD NO SHOT TO BEGIN WITH.

Goodbye, John Park.

Also bidding farewell was Haeley Vaughn. That one, we also saw coming. While I loved her performance of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" last night, I did not love her performance of it tonight. In fact, it was awful. My fiance was holding his head with his eyes closed by the end of it. "Make it stop," he said.

Goodbye, Haeley Vaughn.

Also leaving were Jermaine Sellers and Michelle Somethingorother. The saddest thing about Michelle leaving is that we had to hear that horrible Creed song again. That's when she signed her death note. Creed.

On the bright side, Aaron Kelly is still around. I fell in love with him Tuesday night when he sang "My Girl." Does that make me a pedophile? Probably. "My Girl," by the way, is one of my absolute all-time FAVORITE songs.

Me: Can you sing that to me at our wedding?

Fiance: No.

Oh well.

Parenthood: Lorelai Gilmore, I Expected Better.

2010-03-03T19:18:00.002-05:00

Last night, I decided to check out the much-hyped-about new series on NBC, Parenthood. I'd heard great reviews about it, and I was a huge fan of Gilmore Girls, so I thought, why not?

Why not, indeed.

The show's premise is almost exactly like Brothers & Sisters': The trials and tribulations of a sprawling white, middle-class family in suburbia. In fact, that IS the premise of Brothers & Sisters.

The show kicked off with Lorelai Gilmore calling her brother, Peter Krause, who's out jogging. Lorelai's daughter has disappeared, probably with her boyfriend, and Lorelai doesn't seem too concerned, just frazzled. Peter is about to pass out because he's out of shape. Oh and then Peter's dad calls. He's the guy from Coach. And then something with Peter's blond wife (who looks like Nicollette Sheridan from Desperate Housewives) and their son who doesn't want to play baseball. In the final scene before the first commercial break (at which point I stopped watching), Peter Krause is tackling the first-base umpire at his son's game because the ump made a bad call.

Big, fat, ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Why was I bored? Because the show offers nothing new. It follows a boring family doing boring clichéd things, like fixing their cars and forcing their sons to play sports. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's not heartwarming, it's not anything. In fact, I'm trying very hard to stay awake even as I type this.

Some might say I shouldn't judge a show by its first 12 minutes. I say, life's too short to watch dull TV.

Lost Progress Report: Season 3.

2010-03-03T18:45:00.002-05:00

The five stages of watching Lost:
Intrigue
Confusion
Deeper Confusion
Aggravation
Acceptance

Right now, at the close of season 3, I am happy to report that I've achieved the acceptance stage. It's okay that I don't understand what's going on. It's okay that storylines haven't been tied up.

It's okay that more people are magically appearing on the island--some permanently, like Desmond, and some for a handful of episodes, like Nikki and Paulo. (How awesome was their death, by the way? Man!)

It's okay that Michael has disappeared, and it's okay that no one really cares.

It's okay that Alex was born on the island, and it's okay that this contradicts the idea that no woman who gets pregnant on the island lives to give birth to her child, and Alex is the product of Danielle and Ben, and Alex was conceived on the island, which means Danielle shouldn't still be alive. It's okay that I am not entirely sure about the accuracy of everything I just wrote in this paragraph.

Other things I've come to feel/learn upon finishing season 3:
-I can't stand Kate anymore. She was never my favorite character to begin with, but now I downright loathe her. I don't like how she toys with Jack's heart, then Sawyer's, then Jack's...and then she has the nerve to get pissy when she sees Jack hanging out with Juliet.
-I'm developing a weird crush on Hurley. He is the type of guy who grows on you the more time you spend with (watching) him. He is the type of guy you always feel safe around. And on a creepy island, there is no characteristic more attractive.

The fiancé and I are now going to take a mini-break from the show. Seasons 4 and 5 are short, and since we're a long way from the May 23 finale, we're going to need to stretch out the remaining episodes.

I'm Going To Stop Complaining About The Bachelor...

2010-03-02T18:59:00.000-05:00

...when they realize America has non-white people living here.

The latest Bachelorette was announced, and her name is Ali Fedotowsky. She was on the previous Bachelor, which ended last night. She was the lady who left the show to go back to her job. But she's decided to try to find love once again. And the economy sucks so bad now that chances are, the men at her disposal don't have jobs to leave her for.

Chances of true love, marriage, and happily ever after?

Still 0.5%.

Sorry, Ali.

24: Can Something Exciting Please Happen?

2010-03-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

Previously on 24...

Yeah, I don't know what happened either. I was so bored within the first minute, I picked up the latest Entertainment Weekly. Did you know about the astounding number of books out there that are about fat women, but they all feature Skinny Minnies on the cover? Yeah, it's totally bogus. See: Every single Jennifer Weiner novel.

Where was I? Oh, yes. The latest episode of 24. From the snippets I caught in between reading EW and feeding my cat Rocky Road ice cream (chocolate is bad for cats, I know, but she loves it), I learned that Freddie Prinze Jr. has the heart of a felon, Farhad is still a wuss, and the Fox 5 Ten O'Clock News comes on at 1AM in the world of 24. Ernie Anastos, it's the middle of the night, but keep f**king that chicken!

Honestly, what happened to 24 this season?

A few theories:

1) Too many characters. I can't keep all the bad guys straight. Is it the Russians? The Middle Easterners? Which Middle Easterners? And what is Dana's ex's connection to all this? Do I even care?

2) Not enough Jack and Chloe. And when we do get Jack, he's...practically sane, and when we get a quick shot of Chloe, she's scowling 90% of the time. I'm tired of that Chloe scowl. Can we get a sister some lines?

3) The country of IRK. I don't know what IRK stands for (something something Kamistan), and I’m wondering if the person who came up with that knew what he was doing. But my question is this: Why does the show sometimes make up country names (IRK, Sangala) and sometimes use real ones (China, Russia)?

4) The lack of super awesome villains. Remember President Logan? Nina Myers? Heck, even Chuck Bartowski made a more intimidating (not to mention entertaining) bad guy on last night's Chuck.

So yeah. Next week, I'll be tuning in to 24 as I always do, but I don't know if my heart's in it anymore.

The Amazing Race: Cowboys Up!

2010-03-01T12:41:00.004-05:00

Before the season began, I was eh about the cowboys. I figured they were a gimmicky team, cast on the show purely on the merits of their ten-gallon hats and giant belt buckles. I figured they’d be out by the 2nd leg. An entertaining team is not always a bright, athletic, cunning team that can win The Amazing Race.

How wrong I was.

Last week, we saw the cowboys ditch the rest of the pack and get on a different bus, which brought them to the next location before anyone else. Nobody could figure out where they were or how they’d managed to find a faster route.

And last night, we saw the cowboys in their element. They had to lasso a bale of hay, play polo on a (wooden) horse, and play five-card stud against the Travelocity Gnome (I love that crazy gnome). It was awesome to see them whooping it up and having a great time. And not only that, but they seem like genuinely nice people who are in this race to have FUN.

Speaking of FUN, how great are Jeff and Jordan to watch? Now, you would expect Jeff to do most of the work, since he’s taller and stronger, and he can actually tell time. But Jordan is pulling her weight, signing up for challenges like walking the high wire and doing most of the driving (Jeff can’t drive a stick). Also, they’re hilarious. At one point, Jeff was so frustrated, he said, “We’re so stupid. We should never reproduce.” Ha!

Less fun to watch are the lesbians. Now, you know I love my gays, but geesh, I can’t stand these two. They’re constantly bickering, they’re snippy toward the other teams when they don’t get their way, and they have a diva attitude about everything—Gucci this, “I don’t take public transportation” that. I’m so over you, Lesbian Team.

American Idol, Top 12 Guys: Meh, Meh, Meh.

2010-02-25T12:33:00.001-05:00

I don't even know what to say. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that so far, this season totally blows.

Now, it could be first-performance jitters. It could be poor song choices. It could be bad juju. And ALL of these things could vanish by the time next week rolls around.

Still, it has been one disappointment after another these last two nights. Yesterday, it was the men's turn, and while they were better than the women, it was not by much. Most of the performances were just aiiight...but ultimately forgettable.

Oh, and if I hear one more Maroon 5 or Jason Mraz song, I am going to scream. Isn't there anything else on the Billboards?

Let's get into the contestants. My favorite, as any reader of this blog knows by now, is John Park. Not because he's the most talented (though he has a smokin' baritone), or the most hot (though he does have a smile that could melt a bar of gold). It's because he is the Great White (Asian) Hope for Asian Americans to break into the music biz. He also happens to be funny, charismatic, charming, and somehow still modest after all of that.

I was going to write more about John Park, like how he's close to his parents, and how I could relate to his family's money struggles, but at this point, we're getting into stalker territory.

Speaking of stalkers, how about Kara's fawning all over that Casey James guy? Did anyone else find that embarrassing/uncomfortable to watch? Are we going to see it week after week, as Casey exposes more and more of his chest? I can't place my finger on who Casey reminds me of--Chad Kroeger, maybe, with a dash of someone else. Casey was all right, if a little boring. I honestly can't remember a second of his performance.

I really liked the "Chasing Cars" guy, Lee DeWyze. My favorite performance of the night. I also like Joe Munoz, because he reminds me of this guy who went to my college, whose last name is also Munoz.

Random shoutouts: Aaron Kelly, are you Jesse McCartney's brother from another mother? Todrick Hall, even though the judges hated your destruction of Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone," I liked it. Andrew Garcia, everybody favors you to win, but I'm already tired of you. One word: OVEREXPOSED.

Also, Tyler Grady, the '70s rocker guy, looks like my fiance's sister's fiancé. It's hilarious.

You know what's really sad? I can't stop thinking about Adam Lambert. Remember how his performance was the one to watch week after week? Because, like Lady Gaga, you never knew what he would do/sing/wear?

We don't have any Adam Lamberts this year. We have an Alex Lambert. Though I have no idea who that is.

American Idol, Top 12 Girls: My Ears Are Still Bleeding.

2010-02-24T12:13:00.006-05:00

Holy guacamole, what was that last night?!

For the first time, we got to hear the Top 12 girls sing live. One by one, they stepped up to the mic. And one by one, they destroyed any love I had for any of the songs. Leona Lewis' "Happy"? I'm sad now. Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am?" Terrible. "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles? John Lennon is rolling over in his grave.

The only bright spots of the night were Lilly Scott and her rendition of a song I'd never heard, the Beatles' "Fixin a Hole," and Katie Stevens' "Feeling Good," by Michael Buble. For reasons I cannot understand, the judges hated Katie Stevens. Maybe the two hours of terrible warbling had shattered their eardrums, rendering it impossible for them to hear how good Katie was. Then again, I could be biased because I love Michael Buble. If one of the guys sings "Haven't Met You Yet" tonight, I will die of sheer giddiness.

Over and over, we heard the judges say, "Bad song choice." How about firing those voice coaches or whoever it is "helping" these contestants each week? The contestants do not rehearse in a vacuum. Surely there is a bass player or studio tech around to say, "You know, I used to like that song. Now you've ruined it. Can we try something else?"

Tonight, the Top 12 guys sing. I will look at the bright side: At least none of them will be screeching. Even if they are off-key, their lower registers will be easier on the ears.

By the way, since about 8 of the girls were really bad, and two were just eh, and two were good, how about we cut the four suckiest contestants on Thursday, regardless of gender? There's no reason to cut two guys if the worst two guys are better than the worst four girls.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I've decided to add pictures to my blog. I didn't originally, because I thought they would make my site take forever to load, and I HATE when websites do that. But one pic per entry should be OK.

Big Love: Mexican Standoff.

2010-02-23T11:57:00.006-05:00

So.

Big Love.

Hollis Green's Arm.

Did Not See That Coming.

Here's the breakdown:

-Bill and his brother and crazy parents and son Ben and one of the Mormon wives (Jolene?) are in Mexico facing off Hollis Green and Crazy Selma and the other Angry Mormons.

-Angry Mormons are pissed because Bill's mom Lois tried to cut in on their illegal bird deal. Angry Mormons want to kill Bill's family as punishment.

-Bill steps forward. "Take me," he says, hoping that Angry Mormons will spare his family.

-Hollis Green steps forward menacingly.

-Cue shot of the machete.

-Cue shot of Lois's blood-spattered face. "How dare you lay a hand on my boy!" she spits.

-Cue shot of Hollis WITH BLOOD SPURTING FROM HIS SHOULDER.

-Cue shot of HOLLIS'S ENTIRE BLOODY ARM ON THE GROUND.

Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!

By the way, the whole time I've been writing this, I've had Robbie Williams's song, "Me and My Monkey," playing in my head. Seriously, check it out on YouTube--someone even made a Claymation music video for it. It's the perfect companion to this crazy episode.

Lost Progress Report: Season 2.

2010-02-22T12:35:00.002-05:00

This weekend, the fiancé and I made it through the second season of Lost, plus four episodes of the third season. As expected, I was completely confuzzled by the end of all this. Where are Eko and Locke? Why did Charlie escape the hatch unscathed? What was that violet sky thing? How is it possible for my head to explode a second time?

One thing that surfaced amid all the chaos was this plot point, which I absolutely loved: that the "protectors of the earth," aka the people who are supposed to type in the code in the hatch, are also responsible for any planes that crash on the island. If someone forgets to type the code in, or types it in too late, the whole island shakes and causes any planes flying overhead to fall from the sky. At least, that's what I think is the theory. I could be completely wrong. I'm no Lostie.

I am now at the point where I gave up the show. Or perhaps I'm just beyond that point. I don't know. The memory's hazy. Sometimes I'll see a scene that I think looks familiar, or I'll suddenly know what happens in a certain scene. Then again, I have been wrong about some things, too. I thought Charlie had died by now. I thought Eko was killed by the smoke monster. I thought Sun had cheated on Jin...no, she was loyal all along...no, she really did cheat.

Yeah. My memory sucks.

But I'm still here. I’m not about to give up on this show a second time. I've got all the episodes downloaded, along with subtitles. There really is no excuse to stop watching. And you know what? I don't want to stop. Because MUCH more than not, I am enjoying this show.

Onward.

Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains: Can We Get Courtney A Cookie?

2010-02-19T11:58:00.006-05:00

Last night's episode of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains was meh. This really shouldn't be the case, with an all-star cast that includes Boston Rob and Evil Russell.

But alas, Boston Rob fell ill last night, so instead of being interesting, he just lay on the ground whimpering about how "it's [the game] getting the best of me." WTH??? Then there's Evil Russell. I'd half-expected him to find a hidden immunity by now, or at least burn a pair of socks, but nope. All he does is lurk behind the trees staring daggers at Boston Rob for stealing the spotlight. I can't decide who's the bigger baby.

Then there's Courtney. Listen, can we get this girl a cookie or a sandwich or something? She's already a stick with platinum hair. But last night, we were treated to the lovely sight of her rib cages. I could actually count the bones underneath her skin. Maybe if they gave this girl a hamburger, she'd actually be nice to people. Then again, maybe not.

Somehow or other, by the end of the episode, James and Stephenie had become mortal enemies. James made this whole big stink about Stephenie being the only one from her original tribe to make it to the end. Uh, who cares, James? Stephenie, meanwhile, was just plain unlikeable. She always had an angry look on her face (not unlike Michelle Rodriguez on Lost), and she was always telling the camera how she was trying to keep her mouth shut to stay out of trouble. She's quite self-aware, that one. I don't know how she ended up on the Heroes team. Then again, I didn't watch whatever season she was on. Anywho. Stephenie got the boot in the end, and now the Heroes are down two members while the Villains (and their socks) are still intact.

So there you have it, a most disappointing episode of Survivor. I should've just watched the Olympics. Congrats to Evan Lysacek!

American Idol: Waiting To Exhale.

2010-02-18T12:14:00.003-05:00

So last night, after dragging it out over three hours over two nights, American Idol revealed the Top 24. 12 boys, 12 girls. One Asian guy.

Yes, John Park made it! He did!

I'm telling you, I was curled up on the sofa dying of agony. They didn't announce his fate until almost the end. Meanwhile, we had to sit through the fates of all the people with the sob stories.

I know this season Idol wanted to focus more on the people with interesting backgrounds and less on the crazies, but I'm kind of over that now. Seriously over that. I want the people with sparkling personalities and terrific voices. No more poverty, no more Alzheimer's grandmas, no more seizure babies. Please. No more.

And how about that final selection of Andrew Garcia over Thaddeus Johnson? What a bummer. Both are talented, but I just liked Thaddeus better. He had spunk, he has sass, and he would've probably been 10 times more fun to watch than the Danny Gokey lookalike. Alas, we'll never know.

Big ups to Haeley Vaughn*, the country-singing black girl. I'm a HUGE country fan, and everyone I know seems to hate it. Haeley, I hope you go far, because Idol has enough rockers. Let's bring country back!

I also like Didi Benami, the waitress who sang Kara DioGuardi's song, and Crystal Bowersox, the girl with the dreadlocks. Actually, I pretty much like all of them. There is not one annoying one in the bunch.

But until he gets voted off, at which point I will declare "I'm swearing off Idol" but not actually do it, I am John Park all the way.

*I just figured out why this name is so familiar. I used to watch Regis & Kelly all the time, and Kelly Ripa would talk about her time at All My Children, where she played a character named Hayley Vaughan. Random.

Vancouver Olympics Opening Ceremony: Putting The "Eh" in "Eh?"

2010-02-16T12:04:00.007-05:00

I haven't heard anyone say this, so perhaps this puts me in the severe minority.

But that Vancouver Olympics Opening Ceremony was the most boring thing I've ever seen.

Seriously. Boring.

I don't mean to offend anybody, least of all the First Nations of Canada. I'm glad they were honored and their history was told in the most-watched event of the world.

I just didn't want to see TWO HOURS of it. I felt like I was watching a moving exhibit at the Canadian Museum of Nature.

Remember a year and a half ago, Summer 2008, when Beijing stunned the world with the choreographed drumming, the moving scrolls, the rising and falling boxes operated by (surprise!) people underneath? I remember it well. Because I turned off the Vancouver Opening Ceremony somewhere in the middle of Sarah McLachlan playing piano while dancers frolicked in the two-dimensional forest background (zzzzzz) to rewatch the Beijing one on YouTube. Even on a two-by-four-inch video screen, the Beijing ceremony takes your breath away.

My fiance would like to point out here that what I am writing is "so cruel" and that "not every country has slave labor!" True. But let's call a spade a spade, or rather, a snoozy ceremony a snoozy ceremony.

My fiance would also like to point out that the Vancouver ceremony cost one-tenth of Beijing's ($30 million to $300 million). Well, it's the biggest worldwide event, and you only get to host it every so often (or never), so you may as well make the most of it.

Look, Vancouver's ceremony wasn't all boring. I really liked the first minute, with the guy snowboarding down the mountain and through the Olympic rings. That was really cool. I also liked seeing all the athletes walk out (as I do every Olympics), and I got a tear in my eye when the audience gave a standing ovation to the Georgian athletes because of one of their own had died earlier that day.

But yeah. The ceremony could've, should've been better. London, you better bring it in 2012.

Lost: A Progress Report.

2010-02-15T18:39:00.003-05:00

This weekend, the fiance and I watched a bunch of Lost episodes. I figured that if we got through two seasons a month, we'd be caught up by the time the finale airs in May.

Right now, we are four episodes into the 2nd season. And I've learned a few things:

1) I have seen TWO seasons of Lost, not one. I have also seen the first episode of the third season (which was stupendous, and my giving up on the show thereafter should not take away from that). The first season: I love all the characters' back stories and all the island survival stuff. Season one was excellent, and even watching it a second time, I found it absorbing. It's what a first season of any show should be. The second season, focusing on the Dharma Initiative and the hatch and the other group of people on the plane, is a complete departure from season one. I can feel myself slipping into familiar territory--not understanding what's going on, losing interest in the show, wanting more of the season one feel. I don't care about Desmond, I don't care about Ana Lucia, and I can't get that dang Mamas and the Papas song "Make Your Own Kind of Music" out of my head. It even played in my head throughout my nap today.

2) I really like Hurley and Locke. I didn't like Locke so much the first season, but now I can appreciate how smart and resourceful he is, and how he constantly forces other characters to evaluate themselves and make hard decisions. Hurley is the kind of deadpan funny that I love. And when he smiles, the whole room lights up. I wish for more Hurley in the coming episodes.

As terrific the first season was, it did lack a few things. One, it never resolved the question of Jack's ex-wife. What happened to her? Besides the fact that she now plays the mom on Modern Family? Another thing is, where do all the outfits come from? Seriously, Shannon and Kate and Sun wear the cutest shirts. And they all fit perfectly. Each one of them stranded on an island has more outfits than I currently do. The fiance pointed out that the survivors wear not just their own clothes but other people's clothes on the plane. A fair point. But it's still really hard for me to believe. A month's worth of fresh clothes? For each female character?

These are some of the things on my mind as I go through the episodes. Maybe I'll do a progress post each time I get through a season. I'm very curious what'll happen as I get into the episodes I haven't watched. Will I understand what's going on? Will I regret giving up on it three years ago? Will I still have the Mamas and the Papas song stuck in my head? Stay tuned.

The Amazing Race 16: Who Are We Rooting For?

2010-02-12T12:15:00.001-05:00

Happy birthday to me! The Amazing Race premieres this Sunday, and I could not ask for a more wonderful belated birthday gift. Before I analyze the teams and give my list of favorites, here is how CBS is touting the new season:

"Eleven Teams Hit the Road for a 40,000-Mile Sprint around the Globe and Find Themselves in the Midst of a World War I Re-enactment, Retracing the Early Days of The Beatles and Come Face-to-Face with One of the World’s Most Infamous Villains."

Yep...still catering to the 65+ crowd, I see.

Also, who's the infamous villain? Osama bin Laden? Did they actually find the dude???

As far as the teams go, there's nothing crazy. Just your usual assortment of cowboys, models, lesbians, and...JEFF AND JORDAN FROM BIG BROTHER!!! This wasn't news to anybody who wasn't living under a rock, but I still get a little thrill every time I see their team photo. They are so cute. I'm so glad they are still together. They seem to really...oh, sorry. I'm supposed to be talking about TAR.

There is also an Asian American married couple (also adorable in their photo), who of course I'll be rooting for. I also like the grandma-granddaughter team. Grandma is 71 and she's a personal trainer! Note to self: Start taking calcium supplements. Last but not least, there is a team of undercover detectives. Hmm...I wonder if they found Osama?

TAR 16 kicks off at 8PM ET on Sunday. Phil, it's been too long.

TV Pilots 2010-11: Behold Your (Possible) Future.

2010-02-11T11:09:00.004-05:00

Every year, the TV networks take a look at a bunch of proposals for new shows. If they like something, they will order a pilot for it. If they like the pilot, and the show seems promising, they will order a set of episodes--usually 13 to start with, enough for half a season. If the show delivers great ratings, the network will order a full season--22 to 24 episodes.

It all starts somewhere, and right now, we're starting at the very beginning, in the words of Julie Andrews. We're in the thick of pilot season, and I thought I'd run through some of them for you. I'm only going to do 2 or 3 from each network, but they should give you a sense of where TV is trending.

Here, in no particular order, are what the networks are considering bringing to your television screens for the 2010-11 season:

NBC has...

...Chase. From Jerry Bruckheimer, who brought us CSI and The Amazing Race, as well as shows we'd like to forget, like The Forgotten, Chase is based on a real-life group of U.S. Marshals that tracks down criminals. Does this sound familiar? Yeah, it sounds like another NBC drama I will not be watching.

...Kindreds. From David E. Kelley, who created three shows I've never seen: Boston Legal, The Practice, L.A. Law. Kindreds is about a lawyer and his group of misfits who come together to form an unconventional law practice. So...it's basically a clips show of those three David E. Kelley shows I never watched.

...Outsourced. It's a comedy about a guy who's sent to India to train a bunch of customer service reps. I am confident NBC will find a way to cast all white people even though this show is set in India.

CBS has...

...ATF. It's about an ATF agent trying to raise a teenage daughter while hunting down criminals. Let me guess: season finale, daughter gets kidnapped. Season 2 finale (if the show makes it that far), daughter marries one of the hunted criminals. Season 3 finale, daughter ends up joining a gang of hunted criminals. Season 4 finale, daughter gets killed, and dad leaves his job, goes dark, seeks vengeance. You know, this show doesn't sound half-bad. I actually see a lot of potential. Hey, can we get Kristen Bell to play the daughter? She doesn't look a day over 16.

...The Quinn-tuplets. It's described as "a drama about the personal and professional lives of the adult Quinn quintuplets, whose whole lives have been documented on TV." So does this mean it's a scripted show about real people? Or a scripted show about scripted people? Or a scripted show about scripted people in which the scripted people are real people?

ABC has...

...Awkward Situations for Men. It's a comedy about a British dude (Danny Wallace) who moves to America with his wife, and gets into all sorts of trouble in his everyday life because he has no clue about American values. I already don't like this show because the British accent confounds me.

...Generation Y. It's about a bunch of people who have flashbacks to 10 years ago when they were in high school. I've already seen this show. It was called Reunion. It wasn't good. And yet, I want to watch this anyway.

Fox has...

...and untitled IRS workplace comedy. Yes, "IRS" and "workplace" and "comedy" can coexist in the same sentence. It's exec-produced by Ron Howard, who gave us movies like The Da Vinci Code and TV shows like Arrested Development. It stars David Krumholtz, from CBS's canceled Numb3rs. I don't have anything else to say about this show, but I included it because it's getting a lot of buzz.

...Ridealong. This is about police officers in Chicago, including a Polish-American cop and a female chief of police. Let's just call this premise what it is: a worthy substitute for Ambien. Look, change that to Martian-American cop and conjoined-twins chiefs of police, and maybe you'll have something.

The CW has...

...okay, before I get into this, know that I am a sucker for CW shows, particularly shows set in a time/place I wish to go back to, namely high school, because I had a really crappy time there, and if I could, I'd do it all over again, and do everything differently. Also, I miss college, because it was everything high school wasn't, so I am also a sucker for shows set in college. That said, I'm excited for:

...HMS. It's about a group of med students at Harvard. Hayden Panettiere (from Heroes) is exec-producing this show. I'm really hoping for a Felicity-like heroine on this show. I miss Felicity.

...Hellcats. Set in the world of competitive college cheerleading. Three words. BRING. IT. ON!

So there you have it. The usual mixed bag of cop shows, legal dramas, and workplace comedies. Nothing that makes me jump out of my seat the way Glee did. But who knows? If my early skepticism of FlashForward is any indicator, we're in for at least a few nice surprises this year.

Dating In The Dark: Back For Round 2.

2010-02-10T14:07:00.001-05:00

Last summer's quasi-hit reality show, Dating in the Dark, will be back this summer for a second season. I am so excited.

DITD ended its run about two weeks before I started Linda's TV, so I never got to write about it. But it is the. best. show.

For those not in the know, the show features six contestants--three men, three women--who live in separate quarters of a house. The only times they get to interact is in a pitch-black room on "dates." The first date is with all six people. They sit across from each other, women on one side, men on the other, and chat. Then they go back into their quarters and decide who they want one-on-one dates with. They also have to go on dates with the one they are most compatible with, according to a computer. At the end of the episode, they pick who they want to see in the light. If they like what they see, they go out on a balcony and wait for them. If the other person likes them back, they will meet them on the balcony. If not, they will walk out of the house wheeling a suitcase, in full view of the rejected contestant.

This show is actually not as skeezy as it sounds. You might think a date in the dark is prime territory for inappropriate groping, but it's all very tame. What I like about the show are two things: 1) The group of contestants (which change every episode) are usually fairly diverse, and they're pretty normal-looking--that is, they're not all blonde sticks and Ken dolls, and 2) there's not always a happy ending. The show feels real (as real as TV gets, anyway) because sometimes only one out of three pairs end up choosing each other, while the others go home with a slightly broken heart.

One episode, all three girls liked the same guy. But when he went out on the balcony, guess what? All three girls changed their mind and went home.

Did I mention how awesome this show is?

Dating in the Dark does not have a premiere date, but six episodes have been ordered. I can't wait.

Another Traumatizing Moment On Grey's Anatomy.

2010-02-09T12:36:00.001-05:00

In the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, we were treated to this horrifying plotpoint:

A woman is having abdominal surgery. While Dr. Bailey is digging through the woman's intestines, THE WOMAN WAKES UP.

Ahhhh!

The woman is frozen; she can't move, she can't speak. Meanwhile, Dr. Bailey does the #1 thing you're not supposed to do when you're operating on a woman and she wakes up: She freaks out.

If I ever need surgery for anything, here's what I want. I want my finger taped to a button attached to the side of the surgery table. If I feel myself start to wake up, I can press that button and the anaesthesiologist will know to shoot some more drugs into me to knock me out. How simple is that?

Book 'em, Daniel! I Mean, Danno.

2010-02-08T18:42:00.002-05:00

I've complained about TV remakes in the past. But now I am going to have to eat my words.

You see, Daniel Dae Kim, who plays Jin on Lost, is going to star in the Hawaii Five-O remake on CBS. Have I ever seen Hawaii Five-O? Nope. Do I have any idea what it's about, other than cops in Hawaii? Nope. Can I tear my eyes from Daniel Dae Kim's sculpted jawline? Nope.

I'm super-stoked that an Asian male actor may be appearing on network TV. There aren't many of them out there. But dang it if show-killer Alex O'Loughlin isn't in talks to star in this remake!

He already killed Three Rivers, putting the painfully gorgeous Daniel Henney out of work. If there's a TV god, I'm hoping he reads this blog: Don't let Alex kill this show, too.

By the way, to the legions of Alex O'Loughlin fans out there who want my head on a stake because I wrote that entry about not giving him any more shots: I have nothing against the man. I'm sure he's a very nice person, and a decent actor. I am just tired of one guy getting all these chances at new shows when there are plenty of other actors who need work. Just sayin'.

Super Bowl XLIV: Highlights and Lowlights.

2010-02-08T12:14:00.006-05:00

Last night, like 96 million other Americans, I watched the Super Bowl matchup between the Colts and the Saints. Now, I love me some Manning brothers, but I was rooting for the Saints. A) They've never won a Super Bowl B) They deserve it after Katrina and C) Scott Fujita looks mighty fine in those Spandex.

And of course, the commercials. Before I get into them, allow me to share this snippet of conversation between the fiancé and me:

Me: These commercials are so sexist! Ugh!

Fiancé: Well, they know who their audience is.

Me: But a lot of women watch the Super Bowl.

Fiancé: Yeah, but they only watch for the commercials.

Me: Aha! See???

This is the first time in recent memory I've won an argument with the fiancé. I was pretty stoked.

Anywhosers, the commercials this year were mostly eh. Lots of talking babies (which freak me out), animals, beer, Doritos, and cars. One of my favorite commercials was this one from Dodge Charger. Here is part of the ad:

I will be civil to your mother

I will put the seat down

I will separate the recycling

I will carry your lip balm

I will watch your vampire TV shows with you (yesssss! I squealed at this part)

I will take my socks off before getting into bed (ha!)

I will put my underwear in the basket (yes!!!)

And because I do this, I will drive the car I want to drive. Charger: Man’s Last Stand! (all right, all right, calm down, drive whatever you want, what do I care? As long as you put your underwear away)

Another great commercial was the Snickers one with Betty White and Abe Vigoda. That Betty White, she takes a beating in just about every cameo she makes. I also loved Oprah-Dave-Jay. Yes, talk about an awkwardly bad Super Bowl party. And I loved the screaming chickens from Denny's. My favorite chicken was the one screaming in outer space. Chicken astronaut! Awesome.

Everyone is raving about the ad paid for by Google. I don't know why Google bought an ad, since everybody uses it. Anyway, the ad was very sweet. It was a guy Googling advice, from how to find a job to how to have a long-distance relationship to where are the churches in Paris to how to build a crib. I didn't get it at first, because I came in to the ad about halfway in and had no idea what was going on. I felt like that kid who's late to the party and they've already cut the cake. I mean they saved a slice for you, but it's still not the same.

The halftime show was pretty good. The Who sang a medley of their hits, including the theme songs from all three CSIs. The band was positively geriatic. The lead singer looked like he was going to fall over and break a hip. Still, they rocked the hizzouse. Anybody who can belt out songs like that at age 962 deserves to sing at the Super Bowl.

Following the big game (congrats again to the Saints! who dat?) was the highly anticipated premiere of Undercover Boss. Okay let's be real, this show was NOT highly anticpated--people hardly knew it was on! I say this because throughout the game, people were Googling "what's on after the super bowl" to find my site. Anyway, the preliminary numbers are in, and Undercover Boss was watched by 31.35 million viewers. It was a great episode to lead off with, and I hope people liked it. I know I can relate to it--the head of my company does not know my name, and he works around the corner from my cube. And there are less than 30 people here. Sad face. Can I work for WasteManagement?

I keed.

Wow, this was a mammoth entry. And believe it or not, I've got more up my sleeve for today...

Random Stuff People Google To Find My Site.

2010-02-05T13:17:00.003-05:00

Just for giggles (and because I didn't watch anything worth writing about last night), here are some of the most popular phrases people Google to find this blog.

"kent avenido filipino"

This is THE MOST popular phrase that links to my site. It seems the entire Philippine nation loves Howard Bamboo. Glee writers, are you taking note?

"america's next top model jennifer lazy eye"

This is another biggie. I don't know why people are still Googling her. Jennifer, if you're reading this, know that there are tons of people out there still thinking about you.

"courteney cox 40 is the new 20"

Believe it or not, I am the #1 link if you Google that phrase. Hollaaa. Also, a lot of people misspell Courteney.

"bachelor diversity white"

I am the #1 link here, too! Hey, ABC--I am not the only one tired of the same old, same old.

"what's on after the super bowl" With the big game on Sunday, I've gotten a lot of these lately. (Undercover Boss, you're welcome.) Hey CBS, you might want to do some marketing. Put up a poster or something. People have no clue.

There you have it. The random stuff people want to know about. By the way, Google, thanks for sending so many visitors my way!

The Middle: A Heck Of A Good Show.

2010-02-04T12:19:00.011-05:00

Hell hath no fury like a woman who woke up from a nap to watch American Idol only to find something else on. Especially if that something else is Human Target.

Does anyone know when American Idol is on? Seriously? Is it 8 or 9PM? Is it two hours or one hour? Is it two hours on Tuesday and one hour on Wednesday or what? Seems like it changes every week.

So I flipped over to watch a Modern Family rerun. I was so pissed off at Human Target that I thought the best form of revenge was to watch a rerun. You know what? Modern Family goes down just as good the second time around.

Following Modern Family was a new episode of the Patricia Heaton comedy, The Middle. I had not seen a single episode of this, but I'd heard it was funny. And it was! It's very similar to MF in terms of featuring a harried mom with a lackadaisical husband and three rowdy kids. (By the way, the family's name is the Hecks. Hence the blogpost title.) Anyway, the episode I watched was about Patricia Heaton getting sick of having to yell at her kids to do everything, so she decides to stop nagging and see what happens. By the end of the episode, she's locked in the drugstore at night in her bathrobe. It was absurd, and yet it all made perfect sense.

Also, the youngest kid, Brick (played by Atticus Shaffer), is adorable. Except, all I could think of when I saw him was, "Jumby wants to be born."

Sadly, since The Middle runs in an odd time period (830PM), and since I am going to start checking when Idol is supposed to be on before turning on the TV, I will probably not watch this show again. But I have to say it for the record: The show's good, and I'm glad it got a second season.

P.S. Tracy Morgan, I found out where Chris Kattan went. He's on a TV comedy just like you.

Big Love: Jerry Springer Style.

2010-02-03T12:56:00.003-05:00

Big Love is getting CA-RAZY!

First you have Margene and Ben. Margene is one of Bill's three wives (the other two are Barb and Nicki). Ben is Barb's son--he's around 20. Margene is the youngest wife, she's in her mid-twenties. So their age difference isn't so bad. Except...Margene is pretty much like a mom/aunt to Ben. And they shared a passionate kiss. Ahhhh.

Then you have JJ, Nicki's ex-husband. Nicki and JJ have a very bitter relationship, because they can't agree on how to raise their daughter (Nicki wants her to get an education, and JJ wants her to be super-Mormon). Anyway, JJ goes to Alby (Nicki's brother, who's now the prophet) and makes him "prophesize" that JJ is supposed to marry Nicki's mother. Yes, that's right, Nicki's ex-husband is now her father. Ahhh!

By these standards, creepy Alby and his gay married lover are the most functional couple on the show. Hey Bill O'Reilly, you watching this show?

The Chucks They Are A-Changin'.

2010-02-02T12:32:00.000-05:00

Last night, we saw a new Chuck.

I don't mean a new episode of Chuck. I mean a different Chuck. I can't explain what it was exactly that suddenly switched in the character, but all of a sudden, the goofy, insecure, excitable Chuck we've come to know and love was replaced by a colder, smoother Chuck. A Chuck who "burned an asset" and had no qualms about it. A Chuck who lied to his sister's face and barely blinked an eye.

Yes, this is season 3, and he can't stay the same guy forever.

But still.

I miss the old Chuck.

Taking Back Lost.

2010-02-01T18:58:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned in previous posts that I gave up on Lost after season 1, because my head had exploded.

But recently, my fiancé expressed interest in trying out the show. Yes, there is a techie geek out there who has actually not seen an episode of this show. I'll let you sit on that for a moment.

Anyway, he asked if I'd like to watch it with him. And I said yes. I figure, maybe if I sit there and watch all five seasons in a row, I can make sense of it. So we downloaded them, with English subtitles (I need all the help I can get), and started watching last night.

So far, so good. We only got through the pilot, but he seemed to like it. And I was reminded of why I got hooked in the first place. The characters all have compelling backstories. And the crazy monster bellowing in the mountains--how can you not want to know what happens with that?

Lost's sixth and final season premieres tomorrow night. Maybe by the time the finale airs in May, we'll have caught up. And then I can finally finish what I started all those years ago.

Life Unexpected: A Worthy Successor To Gilmore Girls And Everwood.

2010-02-01T12:00:00.005-05:00

I finally got around to watching the new CW series Life Unexpected this weekend, and am in agreement with critics: This show is good.

The show has been compared to Gilmore Girls and Everwood, and has been hailed as the return of the CW/WB to old-school, feel-good shows. It's got the snappy dialogue of Gilmore, the heart of Everwood, and a location we haven't seen in a while--Portland. Yes, that's right, there are other places in this country besides New York and LA! Who would've thunk it?

What I also learned is that Portland has a decent Chinatown. At least, that's what it looks like on the show, since they filmed so many scenes in C-town in the first two episodes, and always in different spots. I went to the Boston C-town recently, and am currently obsessed with what they look like all over the country.

Anyway, back to Life Unexpected. The characters have really weird names, which bothers me only because what kind of a coincidence is THAT? You have the main character, Lux. You have her biological father, Baze (okay, his name is Nate, but he goes by an abbreviation of his last name, which is Bazile). Then you have Lux's boyfriend, Bug. Okay, Bug is homeless and homeless people often have funky names. But still.

I had my doubts about the casting at first, with Shiri Appleby and Kristoffer Polaha as the birth parents and Kerr Smith as Shiri's boyfriend. But they're all great in their roles. Shiri Appleby in particular brings an emotional vulnerability to the role that I was very surprised by. The last time I saw her was as a teenager in Roswell, and that angsty I'm-not-an-alien-but-I'm-in-love-with-one stuff got old after a while. Now she's a mom with a lot of regrets about abandoning her child and leaving her to grow up in horrible foster homes.

And the girl who plays Lux, Britt Robertson, is spunky and cute. Lux is about 10,000 times more mature than her birth parents, which is sad (and the whole point of the show). But she's a strong, tough kid. Also, I waited and waited for the show to explain how two brown-haired parents could give birth to a blond child. My fiancé, being a smarty-pants grad student studying genetics, insisted it was possible.

Me: But how???

Fiance: If the dad had a parent who was blond, or the mom had a parent who was blond, then their daughter could come out blonde.

Yeah, okay. I still think they cast the roles first and then said, "Whoops...the daughter doesn't look like the parents. Oh well." The show did at least acknowledge this, at the very end of episode 2. It's how Lux got her name--because she came out blonde, and her parents had dark hair and...yeah.

If you miss Gilmore and still hold a grudge against the powers that be for canceling Everwood, well, give this show a try. I think you'll like it.

Two Men Kissing In A Super Bowl Ad? So What?

2010-01-29T13:25:00.001-05:00

There is controversy over an ad from ManCrunch.com, which CBS is considering for the Super Bowl. ManCrunch is a gay dating website, and the ad features two guys in football jerseys watching the big game and they reach into the bowl of chips at the same time and gaze into each other's eyes and then start making out...much to the shock of their buddy sitting nearby.

I just watched the ad, and it's hilarious.

Come on, CBS! You already turned down a Go Daddy ad featuring a retired football player acting effeminate. Now you're on the fence about ManCrunch? What's the message you're trying to send?

Maybe it's not about any sort of message. This is the Super Bowl, after all, not the State of the Union. We're just here to drink beer, gorge on nachos, and vomit after trying to eat 20 hot wings in a row.* The Super Bowl really isn't the place to discuss politics. The host network--in this case, CBS--has one job, and that is to collect some serious cash-money for ads. That's it. As long as the ad isn't paid for by NAMBLA, who gives a care?

CBS okayed an anti-abortion ad paid for by the conservative and religious group Focus on the Family. I'm fine with that. Left wing, right wing, hot wings, at the end of the day, if a 30-second Super Bowl ad can change or challenge your beliefs, maybe your beliefs weren't as strong as you thought.

So CBS, stop overthinking these ads. It's just a game. Nobody stopped watching you after Janet Jackson's big reveal, and nobody's going to stop watching if you show a couple of guys making out. It's totally fine!

*I have not been able to touch a hot wing since.

UPDATE: CBS officially rejected the ad. Surprise, surprise.

Big Love: Are The Opening Credits Better Than The Show? Debatable.

2010-01-28T19:55:00.001-05:00

Last night, I watched the second episode of this season's Big Love. This puts me almost a quarter of the way through the season (here's why), and I still don't know what's going on. Too many storylines, too many new characters, and not enough of Bill's crazy mom.

But what I do know is that I LOVE the new opening credits.

Check it out on YouTube sometime. It's been compared to Mad Men's opener, with the lead character falling through space. But unlike Mad Men's opener, Big Love's isn't animated. Set to the song "Home" by Engineers, it features Bill and his three wives falling through black space, sometimes in slow motion, and sometimes suspended in mid-air.

It is haunting. Captivating. And absolutely gorgeous. I've seen it twice, and both times, I couldn’t tear my eyes off it.

The old theme, which featured Bill and his wives ice-skating and the ice cracking between them, was set to The Beach Boys' "God Only Knows." It, too, was terrific.

Seeing the new opener got me thinking about theme songs and opening credits in general. Chuck's is really fun, and I watch it all the way through each time. Mad Men's music draws you in, and the art/graphics are neat. I also love Dexter's, even though I can't watch the part where he gets bitten by a mosquito, and the part where he nicks himself shaving.

I can never watch people shave on TV. Too traumatic.

On the other end of the theme song spectrum, you have songs that go on foreverrrrr. You could probably take a shower and blow-dry your hair in the time it takes for the Family Guy theme to play through. Then there's Survivor, with all that tribal chanting...gahhh.

The latest theme song abomination I've discovered is Damages. Great show, but horrible theme. It's some guy mumbling, "When I am through with you...there won't be anything left..when I am through with you." He also mumbles some other things but they are incomprehensible. The singing is combined with bleak shots of NYC sculptures and architecture I've never seen, and I've lived here all my life. Yeah. Come visit New York!

I recently read an article saying that these days, traditional opening credits are getting supershort, even disappearing altogether. I hope not (unless your name is Survivor). Openers can be done well, and Big Love has proven it--twice.

Why, ABC, Why???

2010-01-27T18:35:00.001-05:00

ABC has canceled Ugly Betty.

I am so...

I can't speak. I don't even know what to say.

The current season will be the show's last.

R.I.P. Betty.

Devastated.