NBC: Sinking Faster Than My 401(k)

I just read an article from Ad Age comparing Jay Leno to a bag of stale Funyuns. I'm not kidding. Here's the direct quote:

"NBC used to offer substantive entrees at 10 ("ER," "Law & Order"), and figured that viewers could be forced to switch to comfort food. But Leno at 11:35 wasn't ever really even meatloaf; he was more like that stale bag of Funyuns in the back of the cupboard you were willing to settle for because mindless late-night snacking is ... mindless."

Now, I'm not a huge fan of Funyuns. I'm more of an Utz Cheddar and Sour Cream girl. Nevertheless, I feel bad for Jay.

I used to watch him all the time, back when my VCR still worked. I'd tape him every night between 11:37PM and 12 midnight (I generally don't watch celebrity interviews). What I liked about Jay was his monologue--just the right amount of corny, and never, ever mean-spirited--and his interactions with Kevin Eubanks. I also loved his Celebrity Jeopardy segments. The hilarious Gilbert Gottfried somehow made his way into almost every one, with his requisite "Son of a b*tch!"

When my VCR broke from overuse, I couldn't watch Jay anymore. Then NBC announced Jay was coming to primetime. "Yay," I thought. "I can watch Jay on the off night that there is nothing to watch at 10PM."

That never happened.

What I ended up doing at 10PM on Tuesdays-Fridays (Mondays being rescued by CSI: Miami) was either A) catch up on other shows or B) read.

Good for the publishing industry, but bad for NBC. Thanks to giving Jay 33% of its primetime lineup on weeknights, the Peacock Network's 10PM ratings are crap. NBC finishes #3 (last place) in the hour almost every night of the week. The only show doing worse than Jay is ABC's Eastwick. (I'm still waiting for ABC to wake up and smell that stinker.)

NBC affiliates all around the country are also crying foul, because low ratings at 10PM mean lower ratings for their 11PM news.

It's time, NBC. Time to admit Jay Leno five nights a week at 10PM was a bad idea. Time to admit not renewing his contract for The Tonight Show was a bad idea. Look, there will be major egg on your face for shoving those "Comedy at 10. It's about time" ads down our throats all summer. You had high hopes for Jay, and it didn't work out. Okay, it BOMBED. But as any addict knows, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem.

I know you have a contract with Jay for at least a year. But I don't have a solution for you to get out of this mess. It's just a terrible, terrible situation for all parties involved.

Eck. No more entries on the state of NBC for a while. Writing about the network is making me depressed.

Private Practice: Possibly Better Than Grey's.

I watched the last two episodes of Private Practice today, and they were terrific. One was about a woman who needed a kidney transplant (thanks to Izzie effing up the whole thing on Grey's Anatomy) and the only kidney available was her HIV-positive sister's, and the other episode was about a woman who was raped and got pregnant and she wants to keep the baby but her husband doesn't. Holy sizzling plotlines, Shonda Rhimes!

Private Practice is now in its 3rd season, and it's showing no signs of slowing down, losing creative vision, or jumping the shark. That's more than I can say for a lot of other shows--namely, Practice's parent show, Grey's. I also like that Practice has a relatively small cast for an ensemble show. Yes, Naomi and Sam have the weakest plotlines of the eight or so regulars, but I don't mind them being around. Especially since Naomi has been the "happy" to Addison's "angsty" lately. And Sam is now a surgeon--and a very good one, at that.

Private Practice also managed to expand from its original core group of six without diluting the other characters. I used to think Dell was annoying. Not anymore--I love seeing him in scrubs and taking care of moms-to-be. I couldn't stand Charlotte at first--but since that episode where her father died, we saw that she had a heart, after all. I'm still on the fence about Sheldon, Violet's ex who was one of the possible baby-daddies. I think Sheldon has a shortness complex (I would know) and he's always getting into a huff in every scene he's in. In the moments between his complaints, he is funny and lovable. If the show keeps him around, I hope they find a way to dewhine-ify him.

Grey's Anatomy, on the other hand, has so many new characters now, I can't keep track of them all. Those interns--there are way too many, and they seem to cycle in and out and back in with each episode. They've been around two seasons, and I still don't know any of their names, except for Lexie. She's the only addition I like. Everyone else seems totally incompetent to be a doctor. Was anybody from the original Grey's cast this unwatchable in season 1? I don't remember.

This is the second time this season I find myself liking a spinoff more than the original, the first one being The City vs. The Hills. Network heads: Maybe it's time to retire certain canceled shows forever (I'm looking at you, V) and take a look at spinning off some of the excellent shows you currently have. For example, I would love another subversive comedy like Glee--though Fox, please wait a few years on that first.

Spinoffs, done right, are the perfect mix of risk (new show) and security (proven concept and/or characters). Well done, Private Practice.

A Gay Character on Law & Order: SVU. Good or Bad?

I haven't watched this episode yet (it aired last night against Glee), but psychiatrist George Huang, played by BD Wong, revealed in last night's Law & Order: SVU that he is, in fact, gay.

According to afterelton.com, fans have long suspected Huang is a gay man. Wow I must be dense! I have never even thought about his sexuality. SVU almost never deals with romantic relationships--and thank goodness, because they would just detract from the show. We have heard passing comments from Munch about the toils of marriage. And we know Stabler is married and we know Benson is straight and never been married. That's pretty much it.

I have mixed feelings about Huang coming out. On the one hand, it deepens him as a character, so that he is not just that Asian guy who shows up every so often to profile criminals. Also, having a gay main character on one of TV's biggest shows is a strong indicator that the powers that be at SVU are no longer delusional that all of America is straight (I'm looking at you, CBS!).

On the other hand, I'm wondering if making Huang gay will marginalize him even more. He's already a fringe main character--that is, he's not in every episode, and he doesn't have a lot of lines in most of the episodes he does appear in. He shows up, provides his expertise, occasionally interviews a victim/perp, and then it's see ya later, Huang.

So what's up with this trend of making men of color portray gay characters on TV shows? It's not just SVU--there's Entourage's Lloyd, played by Rex Lee. And there's The Office's Oscar, played by Oscar Nunez. Am I the only one who's noticed this?

A Terri-less Glee is a Good Glee.

Tonight's episode of Glee was full of slushies, wedding dresses, and that song from My Fair Lady.

Speaking of which, I can't get that dang song out of my head. "I could've daaanced all niiight..."

Anywhosers. Thumbs up to:

1) Puck. Dude can sing. Not only that, but he is a DEAD RINGER for Robbie Williams, the yummiest singer on the planet. I am in love with Puck/Robbie.
2) Emma's wedding dress. So pretty.
3) Lack of Terri. Honestly, this show does not need her at all. Glee could've started out with Will as a heartbroken widower whose wife just died tragically in a car crash and Emma helping him learn love again. Ken could be all, "Marry me, Emma," and Will could be all, "I'm not ready to move on," and then Emma could be all, "All right, Ken, I'll marry you," and then at the altar, right before Emma says "I do," Will could come running in and do a song and dance number (I suggest "(I've Had) The Time of My Life") and lift Emma up and propose to her and maybe the fall finale could end with Emma's panicked, indecisive eyes because she's a kind person and doesn't want to break Ken's heart despite her feelings for...Where was I going with this? Oh, right. We don't need Terri.
4) Finn standing up to Coach Ken with a great speech that invoked Thomas Jefferson and the kid from Terminator.

Speaking of Coach Ken--am I the only one suddenly feeling AWFUL for the guy and starting to root for him? I'm not saying he should get with Emma--they are totally wrong for each other--but the least Emma and Will could do is not prance around together all over the place making eyes at each other. Let's give Ken some requited love. Or at least a little respect!

From the promos following the episode, it looks like Glee is going on a short hiatus until November sweeps. I don't know what I will do with the next few Glee-less Wednesday nights.

Oh, wait.

Of course.

Law & Order: SVU, do we have a date?

CSI: Miami: Hold the Salad, Please.

After watching last night's CSI: Miami, I'm never eating salad again.

The poisoning of a young girl takes the CSI gang to a farm that supplies "organic" vegetables (in quotes because we later find out some of the veggies are genetically engineered) to a restaurant where the girl ate and contracted E. coli.

It doesn't take long for Wolfe and Eddie Cibrian and Walter (who is one of my favorite new additions to the show) to find the source of the E. coli. Basically the plants were being irrigated with water from a well. The well water was being contaminated by water from a drain pipe which came from a field in which a bazillion cows were pooping all day long.

The best part of the show was the really cool montage showing the path of the E. coli (shown as ominous magenta fuzzies) from the drainage pipe to the well to the irrigation to the illegal immigrant cutting the greens from the soil and loading it in the truck to the restaurant worker cutting up the greens to the waiter bringing it to the poor unsuspecting girl. Bon appetit!

Also, the girl's boyfriend, who had been about to propose to her, also died of brain failure. The cause? He had eaten corn on the cob, which had been genetically engineered to be easier to digest. (I've never actually found it difficult to digest corn, but maybe my intestines know something I don't.) Unfortunately, crossing the corn with the bacteria that digests it creates a botulism gene in 1 out of 100 cases. Something like that. So the guy got botulism poisoning from eating corn.

Moral of the story: Don't eat your vegetables.

The end of the episode was really weird. It showed Eddie Cibrian running along the beach with a surfboard. Along the way, he picks up a couple of empty cans and throws them in the recycling bin nearby. (Because in reality, recycling bins are always exactly where you need them, especially on a beach.) Then he runs into the surf. At first, I thought it was a gratuitous shot of Eddie Cibrian shirtless. Boy, that CBS sure knows its audience, I thought.

Then there were a couple of shots of Natalia (or Calleigh, I forget) watering plants at a community garden. And that's when I remembered something I had read earlier yesterday, about the networks all coming together to promote volunteering.

Now, I'm all for volunteering. But two things: 1. A random montage that makes no sense in the context of the episode will only serve to confuse the viewer, not inspire him/her to volunteer. 2. Why, why, why would they show a volunteer watering plants when the previous 40 minutes of the episode was about E. coli poisoning from watered plants? All I could think was, Gee, I hope they tested the water source at that community garden.

Am I the Only One Skeeved Out By Dexter?

No, I'm not referring to the horrific, bloody goryness that is one of my favorite shows, Dexter. I'm not even referring to the appearance of John Lithgow's naked booty on the season premiere.

I'm talking about actress Jennifer Carpenter and her alter ego, Debra Morgan. Deb Morgan is Dexter's sister. Dexter was adopted by Deb's dad, so there's no blood relation. But in real life, Jennifer Carpenter is married to Michael C. Hall, who plays Dexter. So to sum it up, an onscreen brother and sister is married in real life.

I know, I know. It's just TV. It's FICTION. And actors who work in close proximity tend to get, well, close. And sometimes they hook up. I get that.

But still. I cannot help but be skeeved out every time Deb and Dexter appear in a scene together. All I can think is, You married your brother. And you married your sister.

Ahhh!

A Likeable Meredith Grey?

I just watched the Grey's Anatomy episode from last week, the one where Meredith's dad needs a liver transplant, and I am pleased to report that for the first time in what feels like forever, I actually really liked Meredith.

For far too long, she has been written as a whiny, self-absorbed character who can't get out of her own head. I know you know you were sick of watching her go back and forth on McDreamy. We all thought he deserved better. Well, in this episode, we finally got to see a wonderful, empathetic side to Meredith.

The episode begins with Meredith's estranged dad stumbling into the hospital puking blood. He is a recovering alcoholic, and he needs a liver transplant. Lexie gets a blood test and finds out she's not a match. Everyone expects Meredith to do the blood test, too.

Everyone except Meredith. She's all, "Well, that sucks, guess he'll be dead soon." Everyone is horrified that Meredith is refusing to help her dad.

And that's just the thing. He is not her dad. He left her when she was a kid and married another woman, Lexie's mom. He also popped Meredith in the face once in the hospital, right in front of everybody. JERK. Not to mention he drank himself to a failing liver. Meredith did not want to give him her liver, and I for one agreed one million percent.

Then Lexie made her big plea. That even though Thatcher was a terrible father to Meredith, he was a great dad to Lexie, and by the way, she stole Meredith's files and Meredith is a blood match so won't she do this for Lexie, if not for their dad? It's a great, moving moment. I'm sold.

And so is Meredith. She goes to tell Thatcher the news, omitting the fact that she will be the one donating the liver. I love that she did that. If I were giving part of my liver up I'd be broadcasting it in sky writing. But Thatcher asks some more questions and Meredith finally fesses up that it's her liver. Thatcher says nope, not taking it.

Eventually, the doctors and Lexie and Meredith wear him down. The operation goes off beautifully. Meredith wakes up a chunk of liver lighter, and Lexie, who has been sleeping at her bedside, wakes up.

Lexie: (thanks Meredith effusively)

Meredith: Lexie?

Lexie: Yeah?

Meredith: You're on my IV.

I haven't seen the most recent ep, but I'm assuming Meredith's monthlong recovery was the writers' way of giving Ellen Pompeo maternity leave. I'm sorry to see her go--just when she got likeable.

Now, if we could just get Katherine Heigl pregnant...