Melrose Place: As Close To Perfection As A Pilot Gets

I finally watched the Melrose Place premiere.

OMG. I love it.

The 45 minutes flew right by. Before we knew it, the blonde was having a lesbian makeout session, the part-Asian girl decided to pimp herself out for college money, and the boring Augie guy (they need to change that name, ASAP) was setting fire to a blood-stained shirt in a dark alley. Holy crap. And this show's just getting STARTED.

I have to admit, I wasn't sure about this show. I really thought I'd hate it, despite it being in my top 3 new shows to watch this season. Too often, a show with this much hype just ends up disappointing. I'm looking at you, Kid Nation.

Other shows could really learn a thing or two from the MP pilot:

1. Have a GREAT soundtrack, with current, catchy songs that are completely apropos to the scenes they are used in. The closing song, The Killers' The World We Live In, was perfecto for the above-mentioned montage.

2. Provide something juicy about every character. Even that boring Augie guy surprised me at the end!

3. Feature young actors who are PLAYING THEIR AGE. This has rarely been done in Hollywood. I've only seen it in One Tree Hill, after they fast-forwarded the characters' lives by four years. Dawson's Creek failed at this. So does my new favorite show, Glee (Lea Michele is 22 and playing a high-schooler).

The only thing I would say to the MP editors is to drop those quick-cut edits. There were a lot of those at the beginning--they would show one character talking, then flash for half a second to the other character and then quick back to the first character! Nauseating.

Also, stop piling so much makeup on these people. Do med students really wear this much mascara at the hospital?

Other than that, this was a terrific first episode. The blonde is good enough that there's no need to bring back Heather Locklear. And I was happily surprised at the random, familiar-looking faces throughout the show. Rosa Blasi was from ABC Family's Make It Or Break It. Michael Rady was in Greek for a while. The Hispanic detective had bit roles in a bunch of shows--The OC, Law & Order: SVU, CSI: Miami. Even Michael Mancini was in the last episode of Greek (see previous entry). And last but not least, Adam Kaufman, who played the creepy yet hot Toby guy, was the star of that CBS Hallmark Hall of Fame movie that I am somewhat ashamed to say I watched, Loving Leah. I want more Toby! And yet, I don't.

Even more surprising, I don't dislike Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, or her character. I thought she'd be annoying a la 7th Heaven, but Ashlee was actually subtle and really good. Dollars to donuts she's Sydney's daughter, who was abandoned by Sydney at birth, found out who her birth mother was through the internet, and came to kill her so she could inherit the apartment complex.

O the secrets! O the drama! Watch this show. Now.

Greek Gets Funny!

The season 3 opener was a dud, but Greek on ABC Family just got good with episode 2. Yes, I watch ABC Family. No, I am not ashamed.

For those of you who don’t watch the show, and that would be 99.99999% of you, Greek follows Casey Cartwright and her brother Rusty on their sorority/frat house adventures. Casey is blonde and popular. Rusty is geeky and nice and somewhat creepy. He has bug eyes and he does awkward things ALL THE TIME. Like asking about the girl’s father while trying to have sex with her. I know. I know.

In the episode I just watched, the sorority girls’ fathers come to campus for Sorority Dad week or something like that. The week culminates in a football game between the dads and the guys at a frat house. Rusty pretends to be a football player to impress his girlfriend’s dad (the girl used to date a football player). While the dad is having a beer, Rusty thumps him REALLY HARD to show off how strong and macho he is, and ends up making the dad choke on and spill his drink. Then at the football game, Rusty tackles the dad and causes him to break his back/hip/arm. Rusty is weird.

There was also a really sad moment in the show. Ashley’s boyfriend kissed another girl while they were drunk, and Ashley found out and dumped him. I actually like the boyfriend, because despite his really really REALLY stupid mistake, he seems sweet. So at the end of the episode, the boyfriend is waiting in the kitchen of the sorority house. Ashley walks in. The boyfriend swoops up behind her and says, “Saved a cupcake for you” and holds it out. Ashley rejects the cupcake and leaves. Then she peeks back through the door and sees her boyfriend sitting at the table. He is sadly rewrapping the cupcake with Saran wrap. That did it. I started crying. I’m tearing up right now just typing this.

Greek airs Monday nights at 9PM ET. It’s also available on YouTube for poor people like me who don’t subscribe to cable.