Starring Hugo "Hurley" Reyes As Himself.

I normally don't like sharing links here (because that would send you AWAY from my blog), but this Lost mashup video starring Hurley is just too delightful to keep to myself. Enjoy, all.

And if you're not smiling by the end of it, you have no soul.

American Idol: Four Contestants Down, A Million To Go.

I'm depressed right now. John Park was voted off American Idol.

But...we all saw it coming. And...it wasn't like he made it to Top 3 and then bit it. So the agony of defeat is mitigated by the fact that HE HAD NO SHOT TO BEGIN WITH.

Goodbye, John Park.

Also bidding farewell was Haeley Vaughn. That one, we also saw coming. While I loved her performance of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" last night, I did not love her performance of it tonight. In fact, it was awful. My fiance was holding his head with his eyes closed by the end of it. "Make it stop," he said.

Goodbye, Haeley Vaughn.

Also leaving were Jermaine Sellers and Michelle Somethingorother. The saddest thing about Michelle leaving is that we had to hear that horrible Creed song again. That's when she signed her death note. Creed.

On the bright side, Aaron Kelly is still around. I fell in love with him Tuesday night when he sang "My Girl." Does that make me a pedophile? Probably. "My Girl," by the way, is one of my absolute all-time FAVORITE songs.

Me: Can you sing that to me at our wedding?

Fiance: No.

Oh well.

Parenthood: Lorelai Gilmore, I Expected Better.

Last night, I decided to check out the much-hyped-about new series on NBC, Parenthood. I'd heard great reviews about it, and I was a huge fan of Gilmore Girls, so I thought, why not?

Why not, indeed.

The show's premise is almost exactly like Brothers & Sisters': The trials and tribulations of a sprawling white, middle-class family in suburbia. In fact, that IS the premise of Brothers & Sisters.

The show kicked off with Lorelai Gilmore calling her brother, Peter Krause, who's out jogging. Lorelai's daughter has disappeared, probably with her boyfriend, and Lorelai doesn't seem too concerned, just frazzled. Peter is about to pass out because he's out of shape. Oh and then Peter's dad calls. He's the guy from Coach. And then something with Peter's blond wife (who looks like Nicollette Sheridan from Desperate Housewives) and their son who doesn't want to play baseball. In the final scene before the first commercial break (at which point I stopped watching), Peter Krause is tackling the first-base umpire at his son's game because the ump made a bad call.

Big, fat, ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Why was I bored? Because the show offers nothing new. It follows a boring family doing boring clichéd things, like fixing their cars and forcing their sons to play sports. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's not heartwarming, it's not anything. In fact, I'm trying very hard to stay awake even as I type this.

Some might say I shouldn't judge a show by its first 12 minutes. I say, life's too short to watch dull TV.

Lost Progress Report: Season 3.

The five stages of watching Lost:
Intrigue
Confusion
Deeper Confusion
Aggravation
Acceptance

Right now, at the close of season 3, I am happy to report that I've achieved the acceptance stage. It's okay that I don't understand what's going on. It's okay that storylines haven't been tied up.

It's okay that more people are magically appearing on the island--some permanently, like Desmond, and some for a handful of episodes, like Nikki and Paulo. (How awesome was their death, by the way? Man!)

It's okay that Michael has disappeared, and it's okay that no one really cares.

It's okay that Alex was born on the island, and it's okay that this contradicts the idea that no woman who gets pregnant on the island lives to give birth to her child, and Alex is the product of Danielle and Ben, and Alex was conceived on the island, which means Danielle shouldn't still be alive. It's okay that I am not entirely sure about the accuracy of everything I just wrote in this paragraph.

Other things I've come to feel/learn upon finishing season 3:
-I can't stand Kate anymore. She was never my favorite character to begin with, but now I downright loathe her. I don't like how she toys with Jack's heart, then Sawyer's, then Jack's...and then she has the nerve to get pissy when she sees Jack hanging out with Juliet.
-I'm developing a weird crush on Hurley. He is the type of guy who grows on you the more time you spend with (watching) him. He is the type of guy you always feel safe around. And on a creepy island, there is no characteristic more attractive.

The fiancé and I are now going to take a mini-break from the show. Seasons 4 and 5 are short, and since we're a long way from the May 23 finale, we're going to need to stretch out the remaining episodes.

I'm Going To Stop Complaining About The Bachelor...

...when they realize America has non-white people living here.

The latest Bachelorette was announced, and her name is Ali Fedotowsky. She was on the previous Bachelor, which ended last night. She was the lady who left the show to go back to her job. But she's decided to try to find love once again. And the economy sucks so bad now that chances are, the men at her disposal don't have jobs to leave her for.

Chances of true love, marriage, and happily ever after?

Still 0.5%.

Sorry, Ali.

24: Can Something Exciting Please Happen?

Previously on 24...

Yeah, I don't know what happened either. I was so bored within the first minute, I picked up the latest Entertainment Weekly. Did you know about the astounding number of books out there that are about fat women, but they all feature Skinny Minnies on the cover? Yeah, it's totally bogus. See: Every single Jennifer Weiner novel.

Where was I? Oh, yes. The latest episode of 24. From the snippets I caught in between reading EW and feeding my cat Rocky Road ice cream (chocolate is bad for cats, I know, but she loves it), I learned that Freddie Prinze Jr. has the heart of a felon, Farhad is still a wuss, and the Fox 5 Ten O'Clock News comes on at 1AM in the world of 24. Ernie Anastos, it's the middle of the night, but keep f**king that chicken!

Honestly, what happened to 24 this season?

A few theories:

1) Too many characters. I can't keep all the bad guys straight. Is it the Russians? The Middle Easterners? Which Middle Easterners? And what is Dana's ex's connection to all this? Do I even care?

2) Not enough Jack and Chloe. And when we do get Jack, he's...practically sane, and when we get a quick shot of Chloe, she's scowling 90% of the time. I'm tired of that Chloe scowl. Can we get a sister some lines?

3) The country of IRK. I don't know what IRK stands for (something something Kamistan), and I’m wondering if the person who came up with that knew what he was doing. But my question is this: Why does the show sometimes make up country names (IRK, Sangala) and sometimes use real ones (China, Russia)?

4) The lack of super awesome villains. Remember President Logan? Nina Myers? Heck, even Chuck Bartowski made a more intimidating (not to mention entertaining) bad guy on last night's Chuck.

So yeah. Next week, I'll be tuning in to 24 as I always do, but I don't know if my heart's in it anymore.

The Amazing Race: Cowboys Up!

Before the season began, I was eh about the cowboys. I figured they were a gimmicky team, cast on the show purely on the merits of their ten-gallon hats and giant belt buckles. I figured they’d be out by the 2nd leg. An entertaining team is not always a bright, athletic, cunning team that can win The Amazing Race.

How wrong I was.

Last week, we saw the cowboys ditch the rest of the pack and get on a different bus, which brought them to the next location before anyone else. Nobody could figure out where they were or how they’d managed to find a faster route.

And last night, we saw the cowboys in their element. They had to lasso a bale of hay, play polo on a (wooden) horse, and play five-card stud against the Travelocity Gnome (I love that crazy gnome). It was awesome to see them whooping it up and having a great time. And not only that, but they seem like genuinely nice people who are in this race to have FUN.

Speaking of FUN, how great are Jeff and Jordan to watch? Now, you would expect Jeff to do most of the work, since he’s taller and stronger, and he can actually tell time. But Jordan is pulling her weight, signing up for challenges like walking the high wire and doing most of the driving (Jeff can’t drive a stick). Also, they’re hilarious. At one point, Jeff was so frustrated, he said, “We’re so stupid. We should never reproduce.” Ha!

Less fun to watch are the lesbians. Now, you know I love my gays, but geesh, I can’t stand these two. They’re constantly bickering, they’re snippy toward the other teams when they don’t get their way, and they have a diva attitude about everything—Gucci this, “I don’t take public transportation” that. I’m so over you, Lesbian Team.