I really shouldn't like the CW this much. I'm too old to watch most of their shows. Should I really be watching Gossip Girl? The Vampire Diaries? I am a decade older than Elena! But I am also 135 years younger than Stefan. Whew. I feel better already. Without further ado...the new CW shows!Hart of Dixie (Mondays at 9pm): Summer from The OC takes a little break from peddling chocolate ice cream bars to apply to med school! Except she doesn't get into school in New York like she wants, so she decides to move to...Alabama. I think I missed something there. How is Alabama the #2 alternative to New York? I suppose we'll find out in the premiere. The show looks like One Tree Hill--southern, and with soft lighting around the edges, like a Barbara Walters interview. Change the title, though--this isn't the Hallmark Channel. Grade: B-.
Ringer (Tuesdays at 9pm): Buffy is back! And she's multiplied! Sarah Michelle Gellar returns to TV playing twins Bridget and Siobhan. Bridget is a recovering drug addict. She witnesses a murder and flees to New York, where she finds her estranged twin. Siobhan is filthy rich and married to a shady guy. Suddenly, Siobhan disappears (it's an apparent suicide), so Bridget decides to take over her sister's identity. Except...someone is trying to kill Siobhan, too. One of the must-watch shows of the fall. Grade: A-.
H8R (Wednesdays at 8pm): Upon seeing Snooki in the first few seconds of the trailer, my expectations plummeted. But...to my surprise, I kind of liked it. This show, hosted by the ubiquitous Mario Lopez, follows celebs as they confront random people who have dissed them. Then the celebs spend some time together with their "hater." For example, Snooki cooks an Italian dinner for her hater. Then everybody kisses and makes up. I will probably not watch this show, but if you're seriously bored, and this is on, I would recommend not changing the channel. Grade: B-.
The Secret Circle (Thursdays at 9pm): Lux, how I've missed you. Britt Robertson plays a girl whose mom is killed, so she has to move in with her grandma. Then she finds out that there are five people at her new school who are witches, and Britt is the sixth witch, and that without her to complete the circle, the other witches can only do lame spells. Turns out Britt and the other five are descended from witches dating back hundreds of years. Based on the book series I never read. Looks like the next Vampire Diaries, only with better lighting. Grade: B+.
Coming midseason...
Remodeled: A modeling industry veteran named Paul Fisher brings together a bunch of small agencies to form The Network, which will "make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed," and "empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives." I'm pretty sure world peace was next on that agenda. This one's not for me. Grade: D-.
The Frame: Other than Top Model and Beauty and the Geek, the CW is a major fail when it comes to nonscripted shows. I didn't see a trailer for this show, but here's the gist: teams of two each live in a separate home, and home viewers vote on things like eliminations, rewards, and punishments. So basically, it's like Big Brother, only way less good because: 1) the contestants live separately, which means way less drama, and 2) no Chen-bot. Grade: C-.
One last thing: The CW is bringing back Nikita (hooray!) but booting it to Friday nights (no!). CW, what did Maggie Q ever do to you?!
Not a bad lineup, CW. Just stick to the scripted stuff from now on, okay?
(Pictured: The cast of The Secret Circle. Is there a way we can add Bug to this show?)
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