Oh, and there are eight other people in the house. My reaction to them so far: Meh.
Don't get me wrong, they are kinda interesting. There is a flamboyant guy who is singlehandedly keeping the lime-green suit industry afloat. There is a sleazy youth preacher. There is a self-proclaimed Carrie Bradshaw (a curvy and black version of Carrie Bradshaw). There is a 25-year-old virgin who still lives at home with his mom and still has his mom cook for him (stay away from him, ladies). There is a metal-head looking bald guy who roars a lot and is obsessed with 90210. These crazy cats are rounded out by two younger girls and a mom figure. About half the cast is lying about what they really do for a living and how much money they earn. Yawn. This is Big Brother, folks. Everybody lies.
But these newbies are nothing compared to the returning houseguests. You guys remember Evil Dick? He tormented the houseguests back in season 8. He would chase after random people screaming hateful things at them. And to pay him back, the houseguests voted for him to take home the $1 million prize. I wish I were kidding. Evil Dick appeared on BB8 in order to spend time with his estranged daughter, Daniele. He told everyone if he won the million dollars, he'd share it with her. I think I read somewhere that after the show, he bought her a car. And they made up and lived happily ever after. Not.
Fast-forward to 2011, and we learn...THEY HAVE NOT SPOKEN IN THREE YEARS. So when I say this is like 2007 all over again, I'm not kidding. They walked into the house and did not say a word to each other. Daniele stood off to the side looking angry. She has also dyed her hair black. I'm worried about these people.
As for the other returning pairs? Jeff and Jordan are as adorable as ever. Jordan is still dopey, and Jeff is still head over heels in love with her. I love it. Brendon and Rachel are still annoying. They are also engaged. I am trying not to think of their future offspring.
There are two other twists (and Big Brother is known for its great twists) to this season. First, everyone has to play as a pair. And they have to get nominated as a pair--which means they have to campaign against the person who's supposed to be their partner. Second, and this is the truly awesome one...the nominee who does not go home is automatically given a spot in the final 10. Just think about that for a second. Think of the ramifications. Is your mind blown? I know mine is. At this point, I cannot wait to see what happens.
(Pictured: The eight newbies of Big Brother 13. I know what you're thinking: CBS put three black people on TV? On the same show? I know, I can't believe it either.)