Big Brother 13: It's Like 2007 All Over Again.

I watched the season premiere of Big Brother 13, and holy moly! Jeff and Jordan! Brendon and Rachel! Dick and Daniele! I can't believe how much I've missed these people I used to hate! (Except for Jeff and Jordan--they were awesome.)

Oh, and there are eight other people in the house. My reaction to them so far: Meh.

Don't get me wrong, they are kinda interesting. There is a flamboyant guy who is singlehandedly keeping the lime-green suit industry afloat. There is a sleazy youth preacher. There is a self-proclaimed Carrie Bradshaw (a curvy and black version of Carrie Bradshaw). There is a 25-year-old virgin who still lives at home with his mom and still has his mom cook for him (stay away from him, ladies). There is a metal-head looking bald guy who roars a lot and is obsessed with 90210. These crazy cats are rounded out by two younger girls and a mom figure. About half the cast is lying about what they really do for a living and how much money they earn. Yawn. This is Big Brother, folks. Everybody lies.

But these newbies are nothing compared to the returning houseguests. You guys remember Evil Dick? He tormented the houseguests back in season 8. He would chase after random people screaming hateful things at them. And to pay him back, the houseguests voted for him to take home the $1 million prize. I wish I were kidding. Evil Dick appeared on BB8 in order to spend time with his estranged daughter, Daniele. He told everyone if he won the million dollars, he'd share it with her. I think I read somewhere that after the show, he bought her a car. And they made up and lived happily ever after. Not.

Fast-forward to 2011, and we learn...THEY HAVE NOT SPOKEN IN THREE YEARS. So when I say this is like 2007 all over again, I'm not kidding. They walked into the house and did not say a word to each other. Daniele stood off to the side looking angry. She has also dyed her hair black. I'm worried about these people.

As for the other returning pairs? Jeff and Jordan are as adorable as ever. Jordan is still dopey, and Jeff is still head over heels in love with her. I love it. Brendon and Rachel are still annoying. They are also engaged. I am trying not to think of their future offspring.

There are two other twists (and Big Brother is known for its great twists) to this season. First, everyone has to play as a pair. And they have to get nominated as a pair--which means they have to campaign against the person who's supposed to be their partner. Second, and this is the truly awesome one...the nominee who does not go home is automatically given a spot in the final 10. Just think about that for a second. Think of the ramifications. Is your mind blown? I know mine is. At this point, I cannot wait to see what happens.

(Pictured: The eight newbies of Big Brother 13. I know what you're thinking: CBS put three black people on TV? On the same show? I know, I can't believe it either.)

Big Brother 12: A Preview.

CBS officially announced its cast for Big Brother 12 today. Here is the breakdown:

-There are 13 houseguests, down from 14 last year.

-12 of them are white.

-Seven men, six women.

-Half the women are blonde.

-There is a podiatrist among them. That is the most interesting profession on the list.

-The least interesting? Insurance adjuster.

-Is there a model, a bartender, and a waitress in the bunch? Yes, yes, and yes. This is a reality show, people.

-They are almost all young'uns. Four of them are 24. One of them is 22. Hey, does anybody remember Natalie from last year? She was in her 20s but claimed to be 18. I wonder if anybody will pull this stunt again. It kind of worked for Natalie.

-Speaking of Natalie, I wonder if she's still with her fiance.

-One among the houseguests will be the Big Brother Saboteur. This is the big "twist" of the season. ("Twist" in quotes because this is not an actual twist; it is EXACTLY the same as the America's Player twist two years ago, which was an actual twist.) The Saboteur's job will be to wreak havoc in the house while pretending to play the game like everyone else. If he/she makes it to the halfway point of the game, he/she will get some cash-money.

-The theme of the house will be "Playground by the Shore." All the furniture and decorations will be Art Deco-inspired. Art Deco means (I had to look this up) the patterns are inspired by geometrical shapes. Art Deco hit its last peak in the '80s, when one-half of the houseguests were still coming out of the womb.

So there you have it, everything you need to know about Big Brother 12 this summer. Right now, none of the houseguests really stand out to me. They all look pretty cookie-cutter. Big Brother premieres Thursday, July 8, so I'll be back one week from Friday with another review when we all know more about the contestants.

Till then, Happy 4th of July!

(Pictured: The BB12 cast, plus Chen-bot. And in case you were wondering, yes, the guy with the bowtie is a professor.)

The Dog Days Of TV.

If you're a sports fan, like my dad (Happy Father's Day!), you had a lot to watch on TV these last few weeks.

If you're me, you're praying Big Brother moves up its premiere date. Wherefore art thou, Chen-bot?

In the meantime, here is what I've been up to:

-Watching the Life nature series from BBC. I hate watching animals get torn apart and eaten alive, but I really liked the episodes on insects, birds and fishes. (Yes, I say fishes.) I could watch insects forever. Also, chinstrap penguins. I love penguins.

-Watching Doctor Who. I am slowly getting used to the new Doctor's rubbery face, and Amy is getting slightly less annoying with each episode. The Rory/Amy scenes are very sad. I didn't understand Saturday's episode, though. Something about Pandorica's Box and the Doctor being responsible for the world's destruction. Huh???

-Watching Degrassi: The Next Generation. I am an out and proud Degrassi fan. Last Friday, I finally watched Degrassi Goes Hollywood. All my favorites were back--Emma, Manny, Marco, Paige, Ellie, and even Craig! I miss those kids. Oh, and when did Jay of Jay & Silent Bob get so hot? After that, I watched the first two episodes of season 9. I'm still learning the names of all the current kids. This is cool--Nina Dobrev from The Vampire Diaries is still on this show. I am not used to seeing her in bright light, wearing something other than a leather jacket. It's very unsettling. I kind of wish I attended Degrassi High. I had a dream about Sav a few nights ago. Shut up! I am not a pedophile!

-Watching One Tree Hill. I'm one episode from the finale. Haley tried to drown herself. Some crazy lady is impersonating Clay's ex-wife. There's also this subplot with a bearded piano player and a British record producer that I just don't get. And Jamie has a friggin huge rabbit named Chester that I only just realized this weekend is FRIGGIN HUGE. If you watch this show, rewatch the scene where Jamie asks Quinn if Chester can watch The Goonies with them. You'll see.

-Reading. Maybe you thought that since I'm a TVholic, I don't read. Actually, I probably read more than you. And faster. I go through 1-2 books a week. The one I'm on right now is Before I Fall, by Lauren Oliver. It's a YA book about a girl who dies...but then she gets to relive her last day on earth seven times. It's like Groundhog Day, the movie. Except it's a book. And it's sad. And I can't put it down. The book I read last week was a HUGE disappointment: Husband and Wife, by Leah Stewart. I read her 2nd novel, The Myth of You & Me, two weeks ago, and absolutely loved it. Another book I couldn't put down. Well, Husband and Wife is the complete opposite. The protagonist is whiny and selfish and really annoying. And she talks about her thoughts and her feelings WAY too much. I can't believe these books were written by the same person. After this, I'm going to reread all the Harry Potters. I figure I could go on this magical journey and clear my mind before starting law school (in two months, ahh!). I still haven't read #7. Has anybody out there reread the Harry Potters, and if so, are they just as good a second time?

-Cooking. I made scallion pancakes and banana bread this weekend, both from scratch. I can make them with my eyes closed now, I've done it so often.

-Running. I'm doing a 5k next weekend, July 3, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out somewhere on the course. I'm running with my husband and his sisters. And by "with," I mean "behind." So far, I can go about 3k, but with some walking in between. And on a mostly straight course. The 5k course is supposedly very hilly. If you don't hear from me after July 3, I didn't make it out alive. Send my regards to Chen-bot.

(Pictured: Some of the cast from the current Degrassi. From left to right: Claire, Alli, some dude, the new girl, some dude, Claire's boyfriend. Wow. Clearly, I need to get going on Season 9!)

The Amazing Race 16: Who Are We Rooting For?

Happy birthday to me! The Amazing Race premieres this Sunday, and I could not ask for a more wonderful belated birthday gift. Before I analyze the teams and give my list of favorites, here is how CBS is touting the new season:

"Eleven Teams Hit the Road for a 40,000-Mile Sprint around the Globe and Find Themselves in the Midst of a World War I Re-enactment, Retracing the Early Days of The Beatles and Come Face-to-Face with One of the World’s Most Infamous Villains."

Yep...still catering to the 65+ crowd, I see.

Also, who's the infamous villain? Osama bin Laden? Did they actually find the dude???

As far as the teams go, there's nothing crazy. Just your usual assortment of cowboys, models, lesbians, and...JEFF AND JORDAN FROM BIG BROTHER!!! This wasn't news to anybody who wasn't living under a rock, but I still get a little thrill every time I see their team photo. They are so cute. I'm so glad they are still together. They seem to really...oh, sorry. I'm supposed to be talking about TAR.

There is also an Asian American married couple (also adorable in their photo), who of course I'll be rooting for. I also like the grandma-granddaughter team. Grandma is 71 and she's a personal trainer! Note to self: Start taking calcium supplements. Last but not least, there is a team of undercover detectives. Hmm...I wonder if they found Osama?

TAR 16 kicks off at 8PM ET on Sunday. Phil, it's been too long.

The Ups and Downs (Well, Mostly Downs) of Reruns.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and we all know what that means: Rerun time.

Every year, the networks try to feed us a slew of holiday specials we've all seen a bazillion times, reruns of episodes we've already seen, and reruns of episodes we've never seen and have no plans to watch. I'm thinking the idea is that we'll actually pick up a show that we heretofore had zero interest in/could not watch because it conflicted with something else. And believe it or not, this has actually worked on yours truly.

Here are the top three shows, in no particular order, that I've picked up due to reruns over winter/summer breaks:

1) CSI: Miami. Ah, Horatio. I first became interested in this show two or three years ago, during a CBS upfront. The upfronts are this annual event in late spring where the networks show off their new shows and remind us how great their returning shows are. That first year I went was the year of the Horatio one-liners. They played a YouTube video of him putting on his sunglasses mid-dramatic-sentence. I started watching the show that summer, looking for those one-liners. Now, he doesn't do them anymore. But I'm still happily hooked.

2) Law & Order: SVU. I don't quite remember how I got into this show. It might've been the summer my first boyfriend dumped me after freshman year in college and all I did was lie in bed watching TV and feeling miserable about myself. It might've even helped that watching a show about people getting raped and/or killed got me thinking, Hey, maybe I don't have it so bad.

3) Big Brother. Ah, what would a list like this be without Big Brother? It's the perfect summer alternative to (insert the latest Shaq reality show from ABC here) and old episodes of Grey's Anatomy (zzz) and America's Next Top Model. (Seriously, CW. You already run Top Model twice a week when episodes are new. Why would we want to see the episodes a third time?) But I digress. I watched part of the first season of Big Brother, because it was new. Then I dropped the next five seasons or so. I picked it up again when I started the job I have now, because some of my coworkers planned to watch it. I believe a friendly office pool was involved. Also, Big Brother is dangerously addictive. I mean that literally. The show grows more violent/verbally abusive each season. I'm looking at you, Evel Dick and Russell!

You'll notice something all three shows have in common: I picked them up three or more years ago. In other words, not a single show has enticed me with its reruns in the last three years. The Mentalist? No thanks. Bones? Bleh. Numb3rs? Why bother, you're on the brink of cancellation anyway.

So if recent history is any indicator, I'm in for a long, long December. But at the end of the tunnel lies American Idol and 24, not to mention Chuck (!). Is it mid-January yet?

A Very Big Brother Finale

-Kevin, I love you.

-Jordan, I’m happy you won. You and Kevin were the nicest people in the house. You kicked butt in the final rounds, when it mattered most. Best of all, the #1 and #2 things you said you’d do with the prize money had nothing to do with you and everything to do with helping your family. Kudos.

-Julie, what was that shapeless blue…thing? It had no shoulders. No sleeves. No detailing. It was a drape-y blue sheet, akin to what one would wear before getting on the Maid of the Mist, except less shiny. I mean, I get that you’re pregnant and your belly must be ginormous at this point. But this is the season finale. Of CBS’s biggest (okay, only) summer hit. Jordan got dressed up. Kevin got dressed up. Even Natalie wore a dress! Come on!

-Russell, what is the point of wearing a button-down shirt if you’re going to leave every button unbuttoned except for the bottom button? How many times did I use button in this sentence?

All in all, it was an enjoyable season of Biiiiig Brother. We had lots of screaming matches. We had a cute showmance. We had villains. We had crazy Chima. We had Kevin.

Alas, the end of Big Brother signals the end of summer. Fortunately, this means the fall season is now OFFICIALLY UNDER WAY.

Rejoice!

Mad Men Drives Me Mad Sometimes

I just watched the 3rd episode of Mad Men, season 3. I'm all caught up. And I agree with what some people are saying--NOTHING IS HAPPENING THIS SEASON. Nothing. Nada.

Here is what I remember from last night's ep:

-Sally stole money from Grandpa, who passive-aggressively blamed the black maid (like we didn't see that coming). Eventually, Sally gave it back. Then she read a book to him and everything was A-OK.

-There was a fancy party that Don and Betty went to. An old guy asked to feel Betty's baby bump. Not creepy at all.

-The Sterling Cooper staff smoked pot. Peggy has a new secretary who is older than she is.

I rest my case. The show was a whole lotta nothing. And yet I still love it.

There are some things that bother me about this show though. One of them--and this is a big one--is that they never resolve anything. Ever. Pete throwing the chicken out the window? Best moment of season 2, and yet...nothing. Joan getting raped by her fiance? Still with the guy. Peggy telling Pete she had his baby and gave him/her away? Life goes on. Nobody addresses anything from the past, nobody says "Hey, I'm still mad at you for blah blah."

I loved the dance Pete and Trudy did though. Afterwards, I turned to Matt, my fiance, and said, "I wish you would--" but he shook his head no before I even finished the sentence.

The other show I watched last night was Big Brother. Jeff & Jordan make a cute couple and it's sad they will be broken apart. But Jordan is basically dead weight (along with Natalie) and she doesn't deserve to win anyway. I hope Kevin takes home the money and goes on a fabulous vacation with his hot boyfriend. Jeff already has that Hawaii trip anyway, and Michelle won a gigantic new TV and Blue-Ray player. I'm not jealous.