A Very Big Brother Finale

-Kevin, I love you.

-Jordan, I’m happy you won. You and Kevin were the nicest people in the house. You kicked butt in the final rounds, when it mattered most. Best of all, the #1 and #2 things you said you’d do with the prize money had nothing to do with you and everything to do with helping your family. Kudos.

-Julie, what was that shapeless blue…thing? It had no shoulders. No sleeves. No detailing. It was a drape-y blue sheet, akin to what one would wear before getting on the Maid of the Mist, except less shiny. I mean, I get that you’re pregnant and your belly must be ginormous at this point. But this is the season finale. Of CBS’s biggest (okay, only) summer hit. Jordan got dressed up. Kevin got dressed up. Even Natalie wore a dress! Come on!

-Russell, what is the point of wearing a button-down shirt if you’re going to leave every button unbuttoned except for the bottom button? How many times did I use button in this sentence?

All in all, it was an enjoyable season of Biiiiig Brother. We had lots of screaming matches. We had a cute showmance. We had villains. We had crazy Chima. We had Kevin.

Alas, the end of Big Brother signals the end of summer. Fortunately, this means the fall season is now OFFICIALLY UNDER WAY.

Rejoice!