Sunday, September 20, 2009

America's Next Top Model: Smize With Your Lazy Eye

This season's America's Next Top Model features all short girls for the first time in 13 cycles. By short they mean anyone under 5'7". This makes me cry, for if 5'6" is considered short, well just call me Lilliputian.

In the last episode of ANTM, Tyra introduced a word that I cannot take seriously, and neither could Miss J, judging by the look on her face when Tyra explained what it meant. That word is "smize," and it means "smile with your eyes." I'm all about smiling with your eyes, but please don't shorten it like that.

The girls more or less mastered this concept. However, one girl, Jennifer, struggled because she has a LAZY EYE. I felt terrible for her. A lazy eye does whatever it wants and you pretty much have to deal with it. It's not fair then, to expect Jennifer to smize. In fact, if smizing were so important to this season, why did you even pick her to be on the show? Oh right, token Asian.

Now I know, other girls have had obstacles to overcome. That girl who was blind, for instance. And the girl with the horrendous teeth. But...I don't remember them asking the blind girl to smize. And they fixed the girl's teeth. So my plea to you, ANTM, is please either give Jennifer some quick-o surgery to fix her lazy eye, or stop asking her to smize. In fact, let's stop using the word smize altogether, because Noah Webster is rolling over in his grave.

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