CSI: Miami: Hold the Salad, Please.

After watching last night's CSI: Miami, I'm never eating salad again.

The poisoning of a young girl takes the CSI gang to a farm that supplies "organic" vegetables (in quotes because we later find out some of the veggies are genetically engineered) to a restaurant where the girl ate and contracted E. coli.

It doesn't take long for Wolfe and Eddie Cibrian and Walter (who is one of my favorite new additions to the show) to find the source of the E. coli. Basically the plants were being irrigated with water from a well. The well water was being contaminated by water from a drain pipe which came from a field in which a bazillion cows were pooping all day long.

The best part of the show was the really cool montage showing the path of the E. coli (shown as ominous magenta fuzzies) from the drainage pipe to the well to the irrigation to the illegal immigrant cutting the greens from the soil and loading it in the truck to the restaurant worker cutting up the greens to the waiter bringing it to the poor unsuspecting girl. Bon appetit!

Also, the girl's boyfriend, who had been about to propose to her, also died of brain failure. The cause? He had eaten corn on the cob, which had been genetically engineered to be easier to digest. (I've never actually found it difficult to digest corn, but maybe my intestines know something I don't.) Unfortunately, crossing the corn with the bacteria that digests it creates a botulism gene in 1 out of 100 cases. Something like that. So the guy got botulism poisoning from eating corn.

Moral of the story: Don't eat your vegetables.

The end of the episode was really weird. It showed Eddie Cibrian running along the beach with a surfboard. Along the way, he picks up a couple of empty cans and throws them in the recycling bin nearby. (Because in reality, recycling bins are always exactly where you need them, especially on a beach.) Then he runs into the surf. At first, I thought it was a gratuitous shot of Eddie Cibrian shirtless. Boy, that CBS sure knows its audience, I thought.

Then there were a couple of shots of Natalia (or Calleigh, I forget) watering plants at a community garden. And that's when I remembered something I had read earlier yesterday, about the networks all coming together to promote volunteering.

Now, I'm all for volunteering. But two things: 1. A random montage that makes no sense in the context of the episode will only serve to confuse the viewer, not inspire him/her to volunteer. 2. Why, why, why would they show a volunteer watering plants when the previous 40 minutes of the episode was about E. coli poisoning from watered plants? All I could think was, Gee, I hope they tested the water source at that community garden.

CSI: Miami Just Got Hotter...

First off, a big thank-you to the Anonymous commenter who wrote that Kent Avenido, aka Howard Bamboo from Glee, is a Kentucky-born Filipino. Anonymous, consider yourself having educated the masses!

Last night on CSI: Miami, which started off explosively (literally), Eddie Cibrian took his shirt off. You can take a moment to savor that.

And what a great episode! There were a couple of very "Horatio" moments. Like when the hostage-taker demanded to speak to Horatio in ten seconds or else he'd shoot one of the hostages:

Hostage-taker (getting pissed): "Five...four...three...two..."

Horatio (calmly): "This is Horatio."

Then there was the part where Horatio decided to go in and speak with the hostage. He came in slowly wearing a SWAT vest and had both arms raised over his head. And guess what he had in his hand? HIS SUNGLASSES. Love. It.

Sadly, I didn't miss Delko at all. Didn't even notice he was absent until the very end, when the team got together for after-work drinks. My prediction: Eddie Cibrian will start dating Calleigh and Natalia will be jealous. I know this already happened w/ Delko, but whatever. Eddie Cibrian is hot enough to gank someone else's storyline.

CSI: Miami: Sunset Beach Redux. Plus: Glee Gets Picked Up!

Before I get started on last night’s premiere of CSI: Miami, I have good news: Glee has just been picked up for the full season! It’s a great sign this show is here to stay—so keep watching, folks!

On to CSI: Miami. Last night, we went back in time to 1997, when Horatio didn’t have sunglasses, Delko was a tow truck driver, Calleigh was extra smiley, Speedle was still alive, Natalia was at some other lab, and Frank Tripp had hair. It was also nice to see Alexx with the two x’s, and Ryan Wolfe, too. Man, I’ve missed this gang. It has been one long summer without them.

The episode jumped back and forth between past and present. In the present, Delko is in a coma after Calleigh shot him in the head by mistake. In the past, Delko is alive and helping Horatio solve a murder. It was, by the way, the easiest case in the world. There were only two suspects, the handsome, estranged husband (played by the guy who played Michael on Sunset Beach—more on that later) and the weirdo, pervy-looking gardener. Guess who the perp was.

One of the highlights of the episode was Eddie Cibrian. I’ll let you take a moment to enjoy that. Eddie Cibrian. Eddie Cibrian. There he was, looking just as handsome as he did when he starred in my favorite canceled soap, Sunset Beach, as Cole Deschanel the jewel thief. I swear the guy has not aged in the TEN YEARS since SB was canceled. It’s just not fair. How funny it is that he and Michael got to do this episode together.

Another great moment, one that would only happen on this crazy show, is how they nabbed the perp. Horatio checks out the gardener’s shirt, his hair, etc. for blood. He finds nothing. Gardener smirks. Then Horatio goes wait a second, and someone gives him a swab and Horatio sticks it up the guy’s nose because apparently a teeny drop of the murder victim’s blood HAD LANDED ON ONE OF HIS NOSTRIL HAIRS. How can you not love this show?

At the end of the episode, the whole gang was gathered around Delko at the hospital, waiting for him to open his eyes. And when he did, I cried. This show gets to me. Every time.

And guess what? Cole, I mean Eddie Cibrian, is now a regular on this show. Meanwhile, Delko is on his way out. You’ll see him next on Ugly Betty playing Hilda’s ex. And I just realized. Eddie Cibrian was ALSO on Ugly Betty as Hilda’s boyfriend. Whoaaa Nelly!