To Glee, With Love.

Last night's Glee finale: I came, I saw, I cried.

The show wasn't without its bizarre/jarring moments. Like the whole Quinn giving birth/Vocal Adrenaline sequence. I will never hear Bohemian Rhapsody the same way again. (Baby Beth, by the way, gets the prize for cutest baby ever "born" on TV.) Also, Idina Menzel adopting Beth. Am I the only one who found that just...creepy?

Anywhosers. Weird stuff aside, this was one of the most moving episodes of Glee to date. There were about 84 different parts that had me weeping like a baby. Here are just a few:

-The glee kids serenading Will with "To Sir, With Love." I lost it when Will started to cry. And again when seeing each of the Glee kids tear up, one by one, during their close-ups.

-The entire "Don't Stop Believin'" performance. Glee songs don't normally make me shed tears, but this one did. Probably because it was a total throwback to May 2009, when we first saw the Glee kids singing it in their red T-shirts. To think how far they've come, all the way to regionals. Artie even used hair gel for the occasion! He's all grown up! If the entirety of Glee--its essence, its soul--can be summed up by one song, it's this one.

-Sue Sylvester in the last half-hour, putting New Directions down for first place. And then blackmailing Figgins to give the club another year. And then getting misty-eyed in the back of the room as the club sang to Will. Who knew Sue had a heart? Actually, all of us.

-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Will and Puck sang this at the Glee concert, so I'd heard it once already. But this song as the closing act for Season 1: A sweet, wistful, and memorable way to say good-bye.

And of course, the episode was not without its hilarity. Two parts stand out:

-Every line Josh Groban and Olivia Newton-John uttered in the judging room.

-The title of Sue Sylvester's memoir: I'm a Winner and You're Fat.

Best quotes:

"He was having an affair with some tattooed freak." -Quinn's mom (I hope Sandra Bullock watches this show)

"You know how many Facebook friends I had before glee club? Two--my parents." -Tina C.

"From Fort Wayne, Indiana, the not-at-all stupidly named, Aural Intensity!" -Sue

So long, Glee. It's been a crazy, emotional, triumphant ride. Thank you for all of it. The songs, the laughs, the concert (I'm still recovering). Thank you for bringing joy to the Gleeks, one inspiration song at a time.

See you in the fall.

Hey, Glee? Don't You Want Us To Actually Like Rachel Berry?

Some episodes of Glee are all about the music, and others focus more on the characters.

Last night, it was the latter. My absolute favorite moment of the episode: Sue and her mentally disabled sister talking and reading in the nursing home. It was moving and sweet, and it brought a tear to my eye. Not that any of us ever even disliked the character of Sue Sylvester, because she is so caustically funny, but now we have another reason to worship her: She is a wonderful sister.

And then you have Rachel Berry. Disliked by her fellow glee clubbers, and now well on her way to being disliked by us, the viewers. Not good. I want to like her. The series started off with her as the underdog, the one with big dreams, the Plain Jane we were rooting for to get the guy. Basically, the heart of the show. Now, not so much. She was so abhorrent last night, breaking the hearts of Finn, Puck and Jessie in an attempt to feed her own ego. Oh, it killed me. "Eclipse of the Heart" was a terrific closing number (as all Glee closing numbers tend to be), but it was tainted by the fact that Rachel's self-absorption was the impetus behind it.

Glee, I know you've finished shooting for this season, and I know that it's too late to go back and change things. But I can't help but hope that sometime soon, and I mean within-the-next-episode soon, we'll see Rachel redeem herself.

Other highlights of the episode:

-"Run Joey Run." Hysterical. I can't believe someone actually sat down and wrote this song.

-Olivia Newton-John. The writer(s) who decided to make her an egomaniac inserting her own sales and career statistics into every sentence: Genius. And the "Physical" video? Funny, though not nearly as good as "Vogue." Sue, more music videos, please!

-Artie's line: "Maybe if we seemed more dangerous people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet." I love Artie.

Oh, and a note to Fox: Can you please cancel your plans to air that horrendous-looking new buddy cop show, The Good Guys? I have no plans to watch it, nor, I imagine, does anyone else on this planet. Every time the commercial comes on playing that song "Slow Ride" and that mustachioed guy (I hate mustaches) says "It's not a toy, it's an orange gun," I die a little inside. I am actually offended that you would put something like that on TV. So please, never air that show. Or at least, stop showing the ads during American Idol and Glee. Thanks!

A Most Madgical Glee.

***UPDATE***

There will be another Madonna episode this fall! Rejoice!

Last night's Glee was the episode we had all looked forward to since, well, since they first announced they were doing it.

Madonna.

I can't think of any way to organize my thoughts (as evident in my previous Glee post), so let's just start by running through the musical numbers.

1) "Ray of Light," featuring cheerleaders dancing on stilts. Whaaa? It started off cool, then became totally awkward with the stilt action. Not the best way to start off such a highly anticipated episode.

2) "Express Yourself" was better, and I think we actually got to hear Santana sing solo for a whole lyric! Tina C. didn't get any solos though. Quinn looked like a young Madonna.

3) "Borderline/Open Your Heart." Playful and sweet. Loved it. I generally like the Rachel/Finn numbers, and this was no exception.

4) The "Vogue" video. Still terrific the 26th time around (I'm kind of obsessed). And now, with context! I'd wondered why only Kurt and Mercedes were in it. And why there were those knowing looks between them.

5) "Like A Virgin." My favorite of the night! The song played along to a video montage of Finn, Rachel and Emma about to do the deed for the very first time with Santana, Jessie and Will, respectively. The singing? Peppy and innocent. The video montage? Part sexy and part chaste. Not easy to do, but Glee pulled it off. This one was a winner from start to finish.

6) Kurt and Mercedes' "4 Minutes," with accompaniment from a marching band and featuring about a thousand McKinley High cheerleaders. Great number. Not my favorite Madonna song, but the Glee kids gave it an urgency and energy not found in the original (sorry, Madge).

...and here is where I turned off the TV. It was 10PM, a commercial came on, and I thought the show was over.

Lesson for life (or for as long as Glee's on TV, anyway): NEVER TURN OFF THE TV UNTIL THE CREDITS ROLL. Actually, for the purposes of this blog, this lesson can be shortened to NEVER TURN OFF THE TV.

So what did I miss? ONLY THE BIGGEST NUMBER OF THE WHOLE SHOW:

7) "Like A Prayer." Upon checking the song list online to write this post, I could not remember this song from last night, so I went and found it on YouTube. The number started off the way most Glee numbers start off, with Lea Michele standing alone under a spotlight. Then the rest of the cast joins her, and the curtains rise, and (goosebumps here) a whole friggin' choir appears and everyone is raising their arms to the heavens and Mercedes is belting it out and I think I have seen God.

Dear American Idol: Kill off two judges. Right now. I don't care which two. Four judges = four (let's face it) extraneous opinions = Glee gets pushed back = I miss the ending = I want to hurt somebody. But I just spent the last hour watching/listening to/writing about Glee, so I'm feeling giddy and smiley and I will not be able to hurt a fly for the next six hours and 47 minutes. After that, I'm coming for you, Randy Dawg.

Other random notes: I loved the reappearance of Lauren Potter, who has Down syndrome and plays Becky the cheerleader. Big ups to Becky! Also, I am tired of all the Will hair jokes. Every other line uttered by Sue in Will's presence was about his coif. Enough already.

Best quotes of the episode:

"Madonna. Simply saying the word aloud makes me feel powerful...even in voiceover." -Sue

"Mercedes is black and I'm gay. We make culture." -Kurt

"When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist." -Brittany

Hello, Hello, Glee!

I had a meta experience last night while watching Glee.

It was during the last musical number (not "Vogue"--more on that stupendously awesome video later), "Hello Goodbye." Rachel and Finn were dancing around onstage. Artie was spinning around in his wheelchair.

I started to get a tear in my eye. A tear of sheer joy.

This is what television should be about. Joy. Not hoping someone gets eliminated or hoping a bad guy gets killed. Pure, simple joy. It is a rare show on television that gives its fans this feeling every week, and off the top of my head, I can think of just two other shows that does this as well as Glee: Chuck and Ugly Betty.

I don't even know where to start. Last night's Glee wasn't a gamechanger. Nothing major happened. It was just the simple return of a beloved show that left us for four months, making the winter feel colder and longer than it has ever been. Glee, your absence made my heart grow fonder.

Last night, we were introduced to a few new cast members: Idina Menzel and Jonathan Groff, who are both Broadway vets and already have ties to Glee. Idina costarred with Kristin Chenoweth in Wicked, and Jonathan is Lea Michele's BFF and former Spring Awakening costar. I didn't care much for their characters--Idina made out with Will, who is supposed to be dating Emma, and Jonathan looked like an '80s rock star. He looked about 30 years old. And speaking of looks, Idina is basically Rachel Berry in about 30 years. Holy future self, Batman!

Glee didn't change too much during its absence: Sue was still evil and funny, Terri was still just evil, Finn was still cluelessly cute, and Rachel was still...well, Rachel. Actually, Will changed a little--he is now a player, or at least, he fancies himself one. Whatever. I am still rooting for him and Emma to work things out. Also, Brittany the blonde cheerleader is hilarious. "Sometimes I forget my middle name."

Another choice line from the show: Rachel's "Who's there? I carry a rape whistle."

My favorite number of the evening was "Gives You Hell." I am listening to it right now as I type this (thank you, GummyBearGleeks for uploading it onto YouTube). Lea Michele's voice is pure magic. She can sing anything and make it ten times better than the original. Sorry, All-American Rejects. I like your version, but Lea killed it.

Oh and how foxy is Harry Shum, Jr. (aka Mike Chang)? CHEESUS. I don't know what I would do if he and John Cho ever appeared on a show together.

Fox did something very smart with the scheduling of Glee right out of American Idol. I don't know what ABC was smoking, putting V right after Dancing with the Stars. Or putting Shaq Vs...., well, putting that show anywhere on the schedule. But Fox, oh, Fox. You're a genius. Also, you're REALLY showing appreciation for your viewers. Glee right out of Idol. In fact, Glee DURING Idol. Did anyone else see Simon, Randy, Kara, or Ellen last night? Me neither. I was busy checking out Will and Sue and Finn and Tina C. and Artie sitting behind them.

Here's what was arguably the best part of the evening: The "Vogue" video. The original Madonna song was a little before my time, and I've only ever seen snippets of the video here and there. Didn't matter at all. Sue Sylvester was a genius, and so were Kurt and Mercedes and everyone else in the video. And so was the person who shot the video. And so was the person who changed the lyrics to "Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire. Sue Sylvester, dance on air" and "Lauren, Katherine, Lana too. Will Schuester, I hate you."

Isn't life better now that Glee's back?

(Pictured: Sue Sylvester vogueing. I spent about 20 minutes making that using screenshots from the video. The tilting is completely by accident. But it still came out pretty great, huh?)

Glee, Our Lives Will Suck Without You. For The Next Four Months.

Eeeee!

We waited all season for that Will-Emma kiss and we finally got it!

I am so, so happy it went down like that. I was actually depressed at the end of the scene where Emma walks out of her wedding saying, "Yes. You JUST left your wife." I thought, they can't end the fall season this way. Not with a sad ice sculpture of a hockey player and a beautifully wrapped present from Will. Not with Ken standing Emma up and Emma saying she had to quit her job at the school so she wouldn't have to think about her broken heart every day.

No. It just couldn't end like that.

So Glee must know its fans well. Not only that, but Glee must RESPECT its fans. How do we know this? Two reasons.

1. That kiss.

2. Having the other glee clubs steal New Directions' songs. Yes, it would've been great to see our favorite songs sung again at sectionals. You know New Directions would've brought the house down. (I don't know about you, but I was especially eager to see "Wheels" again.) But the writers at Glee were smart. They realized that yes, it would've been just aiiight to have ND perform their hits again...or they could perform NEW songs. Send their fans off with new material to tide them over till next year. Now that's respect.

I was also moved by ND's big thank-you performance for Will in the form of Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You." Even before Lea Michele finished the first lyric, I could hear, in my head, what the chorus would sound like. That's how good that song is. That's how perfect it was for the scene. Ahh. What a satisfying way to end the first half of the season.

Now my question to you is this: What are we all going to do without Glee for the next four months?

Sue Sylvester Quote of the Week: Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Schuester. You're about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination: horror!

Glee: More Jumping and Less Smiling, Please.

Glee has been called one of the most uneven series on TV this season, with stellar episodes/musical numbers followed by, well, less-than-stellar ones. I totally agree. Sometimes the show starts to derail, but then it pulls itself right back on track in the best way possible.

Case in point: Smile vs. Jump.

I love the song Smile. I love it for its happy, bouncy, eff-off attitude toward a cheating boyfriend. If you didn't know the song and just listened to the music and had to guess what the music video would look like, you would never in a million years guess that it features Lily Allen hiring thugs to beat up her cheating boyfriend.

So you can understand my "WTF?!" when Rachel started singing it to Finn to get him in the picture-taking mood.

I mean, what was that???

Smile made absolutely no sense in that context. You know what? Rachel and Finn didn't need to sing anything at all. They could've had Rachel do something cute to make Finn smile. I can just see it now. Rachel makes Finn smile, and Finn thinks to himself, "Gee, Quinn never makes me smile like this," and he suddenly realizes he should be with Rachel. He goes and dumps Quinn. And then QUINN gets to sing the song. Bing bam boom.

Now for Jump. It was, by far, the most joyous number of the season. All those glee clubbers dancing and jumping around on mattresses. How fun did that look? I don't know about you, but it made me want to buy a dang mattress. A whole stack of 'em. What I really liked about the number was how it wasn't too coordinated. Everyone was doing their own thing on the mattresses. In other words, no matter where you looked on the screen, your eyeballs were entertained.

I was also riveted by the scene where Will confronts Terri. Oh man, that was the moment we waited for all season. And the way it all came out made Terri look even crazier than we all thought she was. Still, a very, very, VERY tiny part of me felt sorry for her. VERY tiny part. I actually liked her more than Emma this episode, because while I can understand going through crazy lengths to keep someone I love, I can't understand forcing myself to marry a guy I don't even want to touch.

Now, introducing the Sue Sylvester quote of the week: "And while [the eye doctors] were in there, I told them, go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them."

Proud Glee Keep On Burning

Before I get into last night's Glee, I have just one question:

Artie and...Tina C.?

I was so flabbergasted by that development. I mean yes, I'm glad two of the more underused cast members got their time in the sun. And that they were given a storyline that did not revolve around glee club. (I'm still waiting for Mike Chang's plot. Can we give him something to do other than look hot while dancing?) But Artie and Tina C.--it was just so bizarre. Like the Glee producers threw it in just for the heck of it. When it comes to tentative, awkward teen romances, I like a slow roast. What viewers got, however, was a frozen turkey thrown into a bathtub full of hot water to thaw it right before Thanksgiving dinner.*

Weird romance angle aside, I adored last night's episode, particularly for these three emotional moments: 1) Kurt messing up the last note during Defying Gravity, and then bravely finishing the song. 2) Kurt confessing to his dad that he purposely messed up so his dad wouldn't have to get any more horrible phone calls about his "f*g" son. 3) Sue Sylvester and her mentally disabled sister. Little Red Riding Hood. OMG. I want to cry right now as I type this.

This episode totally gave the middle finger to critics (including yours truly) who said "TV doesn't feature enough disabled people." Not only did Glee feature TWO actors with mental disabilities last night, it basically dedicated the rest of the episode to paraplegics. Well done, Glee. P.S. Can we make that wannabe cheerleader with Down syndrome (played by the adorable Lauren Potter) a permanent cast member? She was kind of awesome.

I also loved loved LOVED the music. So much so that this morning I YouTubed Proud Mary, Defying Gravity and Dancing With Myself. On repeat. Proud Mary was a fantastic way to end the episode, especially with everyone in wheelchairs. How can you not love a performance that shows everyone coming together like that?

Last but not least, Puck was in this episode. A lot. 'Nuff said.

*I didn't make this up. It is a true story about my fiancé's friend. Here is the full account, penned by the fiancé himself:

The guy had the turkey frozen and didn't think to thaw it until he was getting ready to cook it. He realized he needed to thaw it quickly and put it in a garbage bag in a tub full of hot water. The neck, heart, and other stuff in the middle stayed frozen though and had to be pulled out still frozen to speed up the thawing. In the end the turkey was a little undercooked and he used the fat and grease that came off the turkey as gravy and put it in an unlabeled jar. The fat and liquid separated into two layers, both unappetizing shades of brown.

Do We Want Sue Sylvester to Sing on Glee? Uh, YEAH.

Jane Lynch, who plays the glorious Sue Sylvester on Glee, is campaigning to sing on the show.

Yes, you read that right. She's campaigning. As in, the show hasn't already LEAPED FOR JOY AND SAID HECK YES.

Um, Glee, what are you waiting for? Sue is arguably the funniest character on the show (the other funniest character being Artie the wheelchair kid's facial expressions). What Gleek would not want to see the Eternal Scowler bust a move?

I'm trying to decide what I want her debut song to be. Should it be something ironic, or something totally appropriate for her? A cutesy ditty with the Cheerios? A solo song about unrequited love? A rap-off with Mr. Schuester?

The possibilities are endless. And now that the idea of her singing has been planted in my head, I cannot get it out. It's all I want.

If Sue gets to sing, I already know her performance would be--in the words of Sue herself--outstanding.