Melrose Place: Noah, I Am Your Father. And Your Brother.

This weekend, I caught up on two shows. One of them was Life Unexpected. Sidenote: After my post on Life Unexpected, the show's casting director Tweeted the post, and I got 59 hits in one day! I know, that's small potatoes compared to what other blogs get. But 59 is a record for Linda's TV, and I'll take it. Thank you, Jeff Meshel!

Anywho. After watching the Life Unexpected finale, I moved on to another show that also just had its season finale: Melrose Place. Unlike Life, Melrose is pretty much dead in the water. Nobody talks about it, nobody blogs about it ('cept me), and nobody watches it. Melrose had its finale on April 13, and only 1 million people saw it. Ouch.

Still, I love this show. I love the characters, I love the fashion, (Riley wears a LOT of purple--one episode, she went from a purple party dress to a purple T-shirt to a purple jogging outfit--consecutively!), and I love the snappy, overdramatic dialogue. Like Riley calling Ella "the vulture in Versace." How can you not love that??

And then there's this plotline. Let's backtrack: David (the Brad Pitt lookalike) has a little half-bro named Noah, who's the son of his dad and his stepmom, played by Brooke Burns. David and Noah have a really close bond, and David's very protective of Noah, at one point kidnapping him so he could take him to the carnival (the stepmom hates David and wouldn't let him see Noah).

Then we find out why David and Noah have such a close bond: DAVID IS NOAH'S FATHER!

I almost fell over on my couch, not unlike the way David almost fell over on the stairwell after reading his stepmom's letter.

Apparently, David and his stepmom once slept together, and Noah was the result. So let me get this straight. David is Noah's father and his half-brother. Vanessa (the stepmom) is David's stepmom and his baby mama and Noah's mom and Noah's stepgrandmother. David's dad, Michael, is Noah's grandpa and stepfather. Did your head explode?

Man, I love this stuff.

(Pictured: David, being lurk-y.)