Book 'em, Daniel! I Mean, Danno.

I've complained about TV remakes in the past. But now I am going to have to eat my words.

You see, Daniel Dae Kim, who plays Jin on Lost, is going to star in the Hawaii Five-O remake on CBS. Have I ever seen Hawaii Five-O? Nope. Do I have any idea what it's about, other than cops in Hawaii? Nope. Can I tear my eyes from Daniel Dae Kim's sculpted jawline? Nope.

I'm super-stoked that an Asian male actor may be appearing on network TV. There aren't many of them out there. But dang it if show-killer Alex O'Loughlin isn't in talks to star in this remake!

He already killed Three Rivers, putting the painfully gorgeous Daniel Henney out of work. If there's a TV god, I'm hoping he reads this blog: Don't let Alex kill this show, too.

By the way, to the legions of Alex O'Loughlin fans out there who want my head on a stake because I wrote that entry about not giving him any more shots: I have nothing against the man. I'm sure he's a very nice person, and a decent actor. I am just tired of one guy getting all these chances at new shows when there are plenty of other actors who need work. Just sayin'.

Alex O'Loughlin: Third Time's The Charm? I Don't Think So.

When I read this bit of news, I just had to come here and share this with you.

Remember when I wrote about all the networks doing remakes of old TV shows? And how they are pretty much guaranteed to suck?

And then remember when I said, "CBS, enough with Alex O'Loughlin already!"? Because having two series canceled in back-to-back seasons kind of indicates he's not leading man material?

Well, apparently, CBS isn't listening. They are going to smash two birds with one stone by trying to get Alex O'Loughlin to star in the remake of Hawaii Five-O.

Bwaaaaahahaha!

I'm sorry. I can't help it. That is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

That's all I had to say.

And now, back to the Jets game.

10 TV Wishes for 2010.

A friend, hearing my cry for something new to watch in the wasteland of reruns, recommended I try Damages. I'd always heard good things about it, but for some reason, just never gave it a shot. So I'm downloading the first two episodes now.

In the meantime, since today is the last day of 2009, I'm going to share my TV wishes for 2010.

1) Chuck gains a bigger audience. This will not happen. Look, people know it exists, they just choose not to watch. Sort of like with Friday Night Lights.

2) Ugly Betty gains a foothold on Wednesdays at 10PM. This probably will not happen either. I don't think all the fans who left just because the show moved to Fridays will suddenly come back. I know if I give up on a show, I give up for good.

3) The return of Wentworth Miller. I gave up on Prison Break after season 2, yes. But that wasn't me taking Wentworth for granted. That was me refusing to watch a show as it got more and more absurd.

4) A TV show starring a non-white person/family. I know what you're thinking. And no, The Cleveland Show does not count. It's a CARTOON.

5) Speaking of diversity, I would like for Tina C. to sing another solo on Glee. I didn't love her attempt at Tonight from West Side Story, but her rendition of True Colors is beautiful (like a rainbow). It's uplifting, it's moving, it's well done. I may or may not have shed a tear when it first came up on my Pandora.

6) The cancellation of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. This will not happen, because The Bachelor is a very popular franchise. Even though it is, in fact, a cancerous mole on the face of television.

7) No more TV remakes of shows from before I was born. Sadly, the three major networks are charging ahead with The Rockford Files (NBC), Charlie's Angels (ABC) and Hawaii Five-O (CBS). I'm putting myself to sleep just typing those titles.

8) More likeable/memorable contestants on The Amazing Race and Survivor. I hated this season's final four teams on TAR and I didn't know anyone's name except Evil Russell's and Shambo's on Survivor: Samoa. This wish may actually come true: Big Brother's Jeff & Jordan are rumored to be in the next TAR, and the next Survivor is an all-star edition and Evil Russell's in it. Let's hope he takes home the money this time around.

9) No more lawyer/doctor dramas. Unfortunately, ABC has The Deep End (lawyer) coming up, and CBS has Miami Trauma (doctor). I'm not watching these. I'm guessing you won't either.

10) More crazy, jaw-dropping moments like the lawn mower incident on Mad Men and Rita in the bathtub on Dexter and the entire Wentworth Miller episode of Law & Order: SVU. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to watch a show and suddenly go HOLY CRAP DID THAT JUST HAPPEN???

And that's a wrap! What are your TV wishes for 2010?

Memo to ABC: It's Almost 2010.

ABC wants to remake Charlie's Angels. Why?

Remakes, as I've blogged about, rarely work in the 21st century. Because this is the 21st century. Not 1976!

I'm trying to picture what a Charlie's Angels update would look like. Corny theme song. Farrah Fawcett hair. Jumpsuits. (Did they wear jumpsuits in the '70s? I have no idea.) Yes, I saw the Drew Barrymore movie version. It was good for what it was and no more. I can't see a network stretching it out into 13 episodes.

And while we're on the topic, let's face it: Outside of Desperate Housewives, women trios/foursomes just don't work. On any network. Lipstick Jungle: Canceled. Eastwick: Canceled. Cashmere Mafia: Canceled. Women's Murder Club: Canceled.

Does ABC think 726967th time's the charm?

V: I Don't Think So.

We are less than 3 weeks away from the premiere of V, ABC's remake of the 1980s miniseries about aliens who land on earth. I could go further into the details about this show, but I just. don't. care.

There seems to be a trend among the broadcasters to find old shows/movies and make "new" shows out of them. Knight Rider, American Gladiators, Melrose Place, 90210, Eastwick. CBS is even making a new Hawaii Five-O. Yes. Hawaii Five-O.

I don't get it--aren't TV networks all about the younger viewers, ages 18-49? Why, then, would they think we're interested in shows from the Dark Ages?

I know, not all TV remakes are bad. I love the new/old Melrose. But the networks have to take a serious look at what kind of audience watched the old shows, and whether they want that same audience to watch the newer version. If you want to cater to the Grandpa demographic, then go ahead, NBC, remake The Rockford Files. I'll be over here watching fresh, original programming like Fox's Glee and ABC's Modern Family.

I digress. Going back to V--there is a fair amount of buzz surrounding the new ABC version, so I went and downloaded the original. The first episode was just aiiight. So I watched another one. Then I went on vacation with my fiance's family.

Fiance: Should I bring some episodes on my laptop?

Me: Sure...eh...nah. We'll just watch them when we get back.

That didn't happen. Neither of us was interested in a time period when women had big hair and wore lots of eyeliner.

The newer version of V stars that blonde from Lost. No, not Sonya Walger. The other blonde, the one who plays Juliet. I don't know why ABC likes to recycle all its blondes on all the other shows on the network--Rebecca Romijn and Julie Bowen, just to name a few others. I'm tired of it.

In short, I have no plans to watch V. The original was eh, the cast is eh, and the plot is unoriginal. Sorry, ABC.