Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains: Can We Get Courtney A Cookie?

Last night's episode of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains was meh. This really shouldn't be the case, with an all-star cast that includes Boston Rob and Evil Russell.

But alas, Boston Rob fell ill last night, so instead of being interesting, he just lay on the ground whimpering about how "it's [the game] getting the best of me." WTH??? Then there's Evil Russell. I'd half-expected him to find a hidden immunity by now, or at least burn a pair of socks, but nope. All he does is lurk behind the trees staring daggers at Boston Rob for stealing the spotlight. I can't decide who's the bigger baby.

Then there's Courtney. Listen, can we get this girl a cookie or a sandwich or something? She's already a stick with platinum hair. But last night, we were treated to the lovely sight of her rib cages. I could actually count the bones underneath her skin. Maybe if they gave this girl a hamburger, she'd actually be nice to people. Then again, maybe not.

Somehow or other, by the end of the episode, James and Stephenie had become mortal enemies. James made this whole big stink about Stephenie being the only one from her original tribe to make it to the end. Uh, who cares, James? Stephenie, meanwhile, was just plain unlikeable. She always had an angry look on her face (not unlike Michelle Rodriguez on Lost), and she was always telling the camera how she was trying to keep her mouth shut to stay out of trouble. She's quite self-aware, that one. I don't know how she ended up on the Heroes team. Then again, I didn't watch whatever season she was on. Anywho. Stephenie got the boot in the end, and now the Heroes are down two members while the Villains (and their socks) are still intact.

So there you have it, a most disappointing episode of Survivor. I should've just watched the Olympics. Congrats to Evan Lysacek!